Total Drama Action
by Ted Wakeman
Summary: A year after Total Drama Island, 10 old campers and 10 newcomers come to Camp Wawanakwa. New friendships will be made, old rivalries will be revived, and you're here for ALL the drama! OCxLindsay
1. Prolougue & Auditions

NOTE: I own NONE of the characters in this story except Ted Wakeman, for he is my OC, so yeah, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

Also, if you are a US citizen and you don't know who won TDI, be prepared for major spoilers!

A light shines on a directors chair. Chris walks in.

Chris:Hello to all of you old and new viewers to our original series, Total Drama Island. Unless you've been under a rock or had head trauma for the past year, Owen was our winner at Total Drama Island. After that, everybody had a small reunion special, but it wasn't the reunion they were planning on. What I didn't tell them was, 10 of the select people from Total Drama Island, and 10 new people from different places are attending the highly over budgeted, non safe, and highly dramatic, Total...Drama...ACTION!

Chris:So, before we begin our show, let's begin with our campers from last time to come back and try their chances again. These campers include Gwen, Cody, Duncan, and much more, but enough of the old guys, let's watch the noobies embarrass themselves trying to get here.

Audition tape 1: Timmy Turner

Timmy:Is it rolling Cosmo?

Cosmo:Yep Timmy, and...creamcorn!

Timmy:Alright, I'm Timmy and although I'm weak, and I'm a nerd in love, I'd do anything to be famous and be on this show. So please let me be on Total Drama Action!

Audition tape 2: Bessie Higgembottom

Bessie:Testing, testing. Is this thing on? Oh wait that's a microphone test...Well hi! I'm Bessie Higgembottom and I want to be on Total Drama Action, and if I can be on this show, then I'll get the "I Was On TV" Badge, and nobody has ever won that because nobody ever tried for it!

Or maybe because it doesn't exsist, hmm.

Audition tape 3: Jenny Wakeman

Jenny:Alright, I'm XJ-9, but you can call me Jenny, and the reason why I should be considered for Total Drama Action is that I'm friendly, I'm kind, and also..

Ted:Your a big blue loser?

Jenny:Guh, you always have to ruin my reputation?

Ted:Uhhh, yes.

Audition tape 4: Ted Wakeman

Ted:Hello all you beings! I am Ted, and I think I should be in Total Drama Action because of my humor, my witiness, and my great looks. So, if you want high ratings, just remember to get me for this show.

Audition tape 5: Zim

Zim:Hello insignifacant lifeforms, I AM ZIM! I want to join this tournament of human beings so I could use the 100,000 s's with a line in the middle so I can purchase Mr. Huggles' Mega Crusher! GOODBYE!

Well, I'll leave you some thinking about how this will unfold, while I wait for the last five tapes.


	2. More Tapes and Teams

Chapter 2:More Tapes and Introduction

Chris:We're back, and we're here again to watch the last 5 auditions from the new guys!

Audition Tape 6:Ed

Ed:Uh, hello! I am Ed and I think Total Drama Action because I'm happy, and...I'm smart...

Umm, do you supply buttered toast there?

Audition Tape 7:Edd

Edd:Hello, and I am Eddward, Double D for short. I think being on this show would be very exciting, and I'll either win with entegrity, or walk away with my head held high.

Audition Tape 8:Flapjack

Flapjack:Hi guys!I'm Flapjack, and I think being on a deserted like Camp Bweepblap would be great! Also, if your looking for a really great competitor look at me, because I'm ready for ADVENTURE!

Audition Tape 9:Billy

Hi, I'm Billy, and I think I should be part of this show, because I can pick my nose! Billy then picks his nose and then eats his boogers.

Audition Tape 10:Mr. Blik

Hello producers, my name is Mr. Blik, and I should be on this show because of my very amazing wit, and of course, my catlike reflexes. So please, vote me onto Total Drama Action.

Chris:So seeing that we've seen their auditions, we'll split these certain campers into groups, like last time Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers. We will show you what campers are left of that group at the end of each episode.

Screaming Gophers

Heather

Cody

Gwen

Izzy

Linsay

Ted

Bessie

Billy

Ed

Timmy

Killer Bass

Bridgette

Harold

Duncan

Courtney

Tyler

Edd

Mr. Blik

Flapjack

Jenny

Zim

So, next week, we'll introduce you to the campers...more like tommorow. After that, we'll show you their first challenge, and then...I'll get paid.

(AN:I know it's slow, but it'll pick up once we get to the fourth chapter.)


	3. Hello

Chapter 3:Meet The Campers

Chris:So, like I said we're going to meet the new campers, cause the old campers are already waiting here.

A boat with 5 people then floats into the dock.

Chris:And it looks like the first batch is already here.

Timmy Turner walks out over to Chris.

Chris:Hey Tim, still working on those toofers there?

Timmy:Yep, hopefully my adult ones are smaller.

Chris:Let's hope.

Then, Bessie walks over.

Chris:Yo Bessie, what's with the uniform?

Bessie:Well you see, honeybees never throw away their uniforms...ever. Also, I have a strict schedule of pills, activities, and don't give me those cookies with nuts, because they give me heavy gas, but you probably knew that right?

Chris:Uhh...yeah.

Bessie:Good, now we can

Chris:Okay, since this is probably ganna bore the heck out of you for the next twenty minutes, I'll fast foward you to after this.

--

Chris:So, I think it's time for us to start thefirst challenge, but first, commercial break, just to build up the suspense, actually, because I'm getting paid now.

(AN:I know,I know, short chapter, but I'm occupied at the moment, but I promise next chapter will be long!)


	4. Meet The Campers

Chapter 4:Meet The Campers

NOTE:I've changed my script style to writing style.

Everybody was sitting around a open area babbling about whatever they needed to talk.

"So Ed, what do you plan on doing here?" Edd asked happily. Ed smiled and laughed.

"I like gravy Double D." Ed said patting Edd on the back.

Chris then walked into the middle of the space.

"Hello campers, and welome to Total Drama Action. This is the island that is hosting your stay, and the camp that we call, Camp Bleepblop. If your wondering were the free food is, I lied. I only did that so you'd get here quicker for the first challenge. Now.." Chris was then cut off by Ed, who yelled in a high pitched voice.

"Uh, CHRIS, where are we going to sleep and stuff?"

"Well, let's say we couldn't get the money for cabins, so instead, you'll have to build your own cabins, sound good enough to be classified as "sleep and stuff"?" Chris answered smirking while speaking the entire time. Edd looked disgusted the entire time.

"Now, go the to the classified building areas, and don't ever, ever, EVER, go to the off limits area. There's man, and...robot eating moose living there." Chris laughed. Ted looked puzzled.

"Don't you find it wierd how there's human AND robot eating ones?" Ted asked Jenny.

"Hey, they didn't say this was boot camp did they?" Jenny joked. Ted just frowned at her. Ted just felt discouraged listening to her joking like that.

--

Chris:Now let's check on the Killer Bass's progress. I doubt they're doing well.

"Okay, either you're wierded out by the talking cat, or the wierd green kid?" Courtney asked Edd.

"Well, both seem ilogical, I mean, how can there even be green colored kids? I've heard of skin conditions, but knock me senseless on this one." Edd exclaimed.

"You know, both of you need to understand that some people have differences. You think just because a cat can talk or a kid is green doesn't mean they're creepy. I've seen creeper things, believe me, I've seen robot bees." Jenny yelled angrily. Courtney smirked sarcastically.

"Sure, a green kid with no ears, and a backpack is normal. Sure!" Courtney laughed sarcastically.

"This is going to be a long 21 weeks." Jenny muttered angrily.

Chris:What did I tell ya? Alright campers, please make your way to the 2,000 foot tall cliff for your first challenge.

(AN:So, wait till tommorow and you've got definant action!)


	5. Mr Fear's Kickin In

Part 5: Mr. Fear Is Kickin In:

Billy and Timmy were talking on the way over for their first challenge.

"So, do you think this is going to be scary?" Billy asked shaking nervously. Timmy laughed.

"I'm sure thsi is nothing bad. I mean, they've got to have done this before. So don't worry." Timmy said happily. Billy stared at Timmy's teeth.

"Ehh, do you plan on fixing them teeth?" Billy asked still staring at his teeth. Timmy just frowned.

--

"Alright, today, your going to be jumping off this **2,000** foot cliff, into shark infested waters, into the deignated dive zone, unless you want to get eaten alive by sharks." Chris announced quiet happy with himself. Billy raised his hand.

"If I get eaten your gettin sued by my agent! I'll call him just in case." Billy said angrily. Then Billy snapped his fingers four times, and then looked sad.

"Why isn't he coming?" Billy asked sadly.

Cutaway to a boat with a sinking skeleton holding a briefcase.

"Oh, that's why."

Chris:Okay, enough with the chit chat, let's get started. Killer Bass, your first.

Mr. Blik walked over to the cliff, and looked down and cringed.

"I for one can't even think of a stunt like this!" Mr Blik yelled and grabbed Chris by the collar.

Chris:Dude, you need to seriously chill out. As long as you land in the deignated area, your fine. Soaking wet, but fine.

"Ehh, that's what you'll be telling my lawer when I die." Mr.Blik muttered.

Cut to confession booth.

Chris:By then I was thinking, why did they even let a cat on this show when they knew it would get pulverized?

Cut back.

Mr. Blik looked down one final time, and began to jump, then grabbed onto a rock and got scared.

"I'm not going down there! I'M GANNA GET WET!" Mr. Blik yelled sounding terrified.

Chris:We got a chicken!

As Chris put the chicken hat on Mr. Blik, Mr. Blik started crying.

"But I'm allergic to chicken!

--

Following Mr. Blik, the rest of the Bass went in order, until the last four.

Chris:Next, is Flapjack.

"Oh boy, Captain K'Nuckles would be so proud." Flapjack said happily. Then he laughed and jumped down into the water.

Zim walked over, and started sneering at what lay before him.

"I will not partake in this baboon of a earth sport, for I am ZIM!" Zim declared proudly walking to get his chicken hat.

"I shall bring this back to the base, to occupy G.I.R!" Zim yelled running down the cliff.

--

Network difficulties, please stand by...


	6. Teen Misery

Part 6: Teen Misery

Edd walked over to the giant cliff, and then started to shake violently.

"Is this even clarified as safe because I don't approve of this!" Edd babbled nervously. Chris just laughed.

"Hey, I never even got the memo about if this was illegal or not." Chris smirked looking at Edd as if he was a idiot. Edd got into a dive position, and then jumped, but then his hat flew off halfway down.

"Oh no, thsi isn't how I wanted to start my reputation here." Edd though halfway down. What he didn't know was everybody there and on national television saw what was under his hat.

"Alright, I think I'm offically grossed out now." Chris said with disgust picking up Edd's hat from the ground.

Finally, Jenny came over, sounding amused.

"Uh, girlfriend, you do realize your mechanical, and you do know what happens when metal touches water right?" Chris asked yet still sounding eager to see this happen.

"Oh please Chris, I've done stuff a thousand times worse than this, yo think a little water could mess up a superhero robot?" Jenny asked sounding as if this challenge was a joke. Unknowningly to Jenny, the Killer Bass were making bets on the outcome for her dive.

"I bet five bucks she's going to rust up." Duncan bet observing teh whole incident. Courtney smiled admirebly.

"Sold." Courtney said happily handing five bucks over to Duncan.

"Well, here goes something." Jenny thought confidently. Jenny took a large lead, and then jumped.

The next thing that happened was a giantic splash that sent a shockwave through the entire island.

Jenny came out of the water, perfectly fine.

"See, what did I tell you, nothing gets to me." Jenn gladly declared.

Then, her entire body fell apart piece by piece.

"Oh man, this is ganna cost big on mom's paycheck." Jenny muttered.

Then everybody burst into laughter.

"Boy, I've heard of washed up teens, but your rediculous!" Duncan cackled.

"Guh, not what I had in mind..." Jenny though glummly.

--

(AN:I KNOW! Short, but it's a set up chapter. Next chapter will be the end of day one.)


	7. I WET MYSELF!

Total Drama Action

Part 7: " I WET MYSELF!"

Chris: So, we had to chickens. Can the Screaming Gophers beat that?

Billy walked up to the large ledge, sweating a river.

"That's disgusting....." Ted whispered to Linsay.

"I know right? I don't understand why he can't just wipe himself with a towel or something." Linsay responded. Ted looked at Linsay with an eyebrow raised in confusion, and inched away.

"Uh, can I call somebody before I do this?" Billy asked.

"If you're going to call the Grim Reaper, then no." hris said smug. Billy frowned.

"Well, what's the point of doing this then?" Billy said angrily. Billy walked away, and grabbed a chicken hat from Chris.

Everyone from the Screaming Gophers gave Billy a look of anger as he passed by everyone. Billy acted like it wasn't anything of concern. Was it?

*Cut to confession booth.*

Billy: Why should anybody care what I do? I like myself! I fact, *Picks nose, then pulls out booger.* I even love my boogers *Eats booger*.

*Cut back.*

Chris:Next up is Timmy Turner.

Timmy Turner looked over the edge, then he jumped but suddenly, he hit a tree, which then knocked him up to the edge.

Chris:Wow, another chicken.

Timmy then turned, and looked angry.

"What?! I jumped, and I hit a tree branch! Don't I get a do-over or something?" Timmy said angrily.

"Sorry, rules don't exsist on TDA." Chris said plopping a chicken hat on Timmy's head. Timmy cursed and grumbled as he headed back.

About five minutes later, it only was Ted and Ed left to go.

"Alright, I just have to remember my strategy and I'll win this." Ted said to himself.

"Hm, I bet five bucks that he'll rust up just like I did." Jenny said smug, although in the same condition she was in five minutes ago.

"I bet you he won't, since he's much smarter than you seem to be." Duncan laughed. Jenny sighed.

Ted jumped, did a 360 degree spin, then activated a metal shell, then plopped into the water.

"3-2-1." Jenny said with a blue smug.

Ted emerged from the water and onto land, unharmed in any way possible.

"Well, now look who's talking?" Duncan said looking at Jenny. Jenny looked through her different compartments, then gave Duncan five dollars.

Ed finally walked to the ledge. Ed sat there, frozen solid. Suddenly, he burst into tears.

"I WET MYSELF DOUBLE D!!" Ed hollered. Ed then bolted down the wrong side of the cliff. Every member of the Gophers, except Billy, who was too busy excavating his nose, frowned.

"Well, that's 3 chickens for the Gophers and 2 for the Bass." Chris announced.

"Wait, if we had less chickens, that means we won right?" Jenny asked happily. Courtney looked at Jenny as if she was stupid.

"What was your first clue?" Courtney asked. Jenny then spontaneously fell apart again.

"The Bass are safe for this week, and as for the Gophers, tisk tisk. Costly mistakes right there on your part. I'll be seeing you guys at the bonfire tonight." Chris said happily.

"How did we get beat by my technilogical cousin?!" Ted asked angrily.

"Maybe it was because we have so many chickens on this team!" Billy yelled. Every one looked at Billy, then started beating him to a pulp. Billy screamed in pain as he sat in the dust being beat up.

IT'S YOUR DECISION! Who should be voted off for the bonfire. It's your decision. But only up to 10 votes. VOTE NOW!


	8. Curse Of The Picker

Total Drama Action

Part 8: The Curse of the Picker

*Cut to confessional booth.*

Ted:Honestly, Bily did squat for us. I'm voting him off.

Cody:I think Ed is the only choice. I've wet myself a couple times over something, but jumping off a cliff, nah.

Ed:I'm voting for....umm...Billy, because he wasn't helpful.

Timmy:Ed.

Billy:I'm voting for Timmy because HE'S A BIG BABY!!

*Cuts to bonfire.*

"Hello campers, or should I say, losers." Chris said to the Gophers. Everybody sighed when he said this.

"As you may have already known, there are ten of you, and only nine marshmallows on this plate. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow must report to Dock of Shame, to the Boat Of Losers, and can never come back.....ever." Chris lectured. Billy and Ed both cringed at this thought.

"The first marshmallow goes to Ted, Gwen, Heather, Cody, Bessie, Izzy, Linsay." Chris said. Everyone then came up in that order. It only left three people.

"There are only two marshmallows on this plate. There are only three people left. The next one goes to.......Timmy." Chris said throwing a marshmallow to Timmy.

Both Billy and Ed looked at each other scaridly. Chris began to get ready to speak. Billy started sweating a river again, while Ed sat smiling again.

"The final marshmallow goes to......", Chris wound up a throw, "Ed."

Ed then laughed and ate the whole plate.

"Tangy." Ed said. Then Ed burped.

"That means that Billy, your the first guy to walk the Dock of Shame! Lucky you.." Chris smirked. Billy suddenly went beserk and ran toward Chris, but Chef grabbed him, tied him up, and threw him into the Boat Of Losers.

"I'm not through with you Chris, I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!!" Billy screamed as the boat drove away.

*Cut to confessional booth.*

Ted:Well, Billy is gone........good ridance.....

*Cut to Killer Bass' cabin roof.*

"So, they think they get all the glory eh? Well, how about I pull off the most hilarious thing ever." Ted said angrily picking up a bucket of sap. As soon as he heard the cabin door open, Ted dropped the sap on the most unsespecting person, Jenny.

"Ted you idiot!!" Jenny yelled up at Ted. Ted laughed at the sight of Jenny.

"Sorry Jenny, oh, I mean, Sappy! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Ted laughed so hard he fell off the roof and onto the ground.

Fortunetly, Heather had passed right as this happened. Heather then got an idea that woud get her the million dollars, and degrade everyone on the way. Ted still sat on the ground laughing.

*Cut to black.*

AN: End of episode one. So know there's 19 campers left. I'll update the fic when I can.


	9. Green & Blue & Wierd All Over

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action!

*Flashback*

Chris:The campers met up for the first time. Of course there were some rivalries already formed. The campers were then assigned to jump off a 2,000 foot cliff into shark infested water. Of course, there were some chickens, but it was the Killer Bass who muscled over the Gophers. It was down to Ed, who wet his pants, or Billy, who refused to jump because he couldn't call his friend. But it was Billy who was the first to walk the dreaded Dock of Shame. Who's going to be the winners, who's going to be the losers, who's going to serve me lunch?

*Sandwhich flies at Chris.*

Chris:At least that's one question answered. And who's going to be voted off? Find out next on Total...Drama...ACTION!

Total Drama Action

Part 9:Green & Blue & Wierd All Over

*Cut to Bass cabin.*

"I thought I said I was getting the eye liner today!" A yell echoed through the campground.

"No, I said I had dibs on it last night!" Jenny yelled at Courtney.

"Who is this Dib you speak of?! IS IT THAT DOOKIE BOY?!" Zim yelled at Jenny.

"Stay out of this green kid!" Courtney said pushing Zim out of the way. Zim glared.

"You touched me with your earth germ infested arms! How dare you!" Zim yelled.

"I told you I had the eye liner today!" Jenny yelled at Courtney.

"How can you even wear eye liner? YOUR A ROBOT!" Courtney shouted. Zim then jumped on Courtney and started chewing on her hair.

"I don't like you!" Zim yelled as he knawed through Courtney's hair.

Chris:Well, I'd hate to be them right now, especially that wierd blue girl.

"Hey, I heard that!" Jenny yelled.

Chris:Anyyway, let's look over at the Gophers.

*Cut to Gopher's cabin.*

"So, this is what it feels to have no Billy eh?" Timmy asked Bessie as he lied on his bed reading his comics.

"Yes it does Timmy. What I like about this is that we're all a team. Now without Billy on our team we can focus on becoming part of our hive as a family.

"Wow, that was beatiful Bess." Timmy said dumbfounded. Bessie looked surprised.

"What? I was reading a page of the Honeybee handbook." Bessie said confused holding up the sacred handbook. Timmy just stared at Bessie strangely.

"Hey guys. What are ya doing?" Linsay asked walking over. Bessie decided to act smart in this situation.

"We were just reciting some of the Honeybee's pages of beauty." Bessie said eyeing Timmy intelligently. Timmy roller his eyes.

"Great eh?" Timmy asked sarcastically.

"Here, I'll read another page for you Linsay. A honeybee always must stick with it's pack no matter what. There are some situations were a honeybee is left out, and must stay together anyway. In even more rare cases, one bee may....oh you don't want to hear the rest." Bessie said happily closing the book.

"Yes I do!" Linsay say happily. Bessie mumbled, then opened the book again.

"One bee may find a mate and fall in love. Usually this occurs with a dumb bee and a smart bee, or more often a dumb bee and a stubborn bee." Bessie read unwillingly.

"I wonder if I'm someone like that. I'm a loner?" Linsay asked herself.

"I highly doubt that Linsay. Your a great person. Not so bright, but a good person." Bessie said encouragingly. Linsay was looking the other way.

"Who said that? Was that my concious?" Linsay asked herself. Bessie sighed, then went back to reading.

*Cut outside the cabin.*

"Hey Ted, I wnat to talk to you!" Heather yelled to ted. Ted smiled happily.

"Somebody actually wants to talk to me besides Jenny?!" He said happily.

"I heard that!" Jenny yelled over to him.

"Man she has good hearing..." Ted muttered.

"I was wondering, would you like to form an alliance with me?" Heather asked welcomingly. Ted pondered this for a second.

"What's in it for me?" Ted asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You get to insult and disgrace Jenny at any time, and unlimited access to my stuff, except anything I say is not allowed, which is everything, and I'll bring you with me to the final three." Heather said trying to convince Ted.

"What else?" Ted asked. Heather then grabbed Ted by the neck.

"Listen to me you metallic freak, either join me, or get voted off next time we don't have invinciblity?" Heather said angrily. Ted smiled googly eyed.

"No one's ever called me a freak before....especially a girl..." Ted said googly and lovely.

"Alright, I'll do it." Ted agreed.

"Good." Heather said happily putting Ted down. Ted then stared at Heather googly eyed, then Heather smacked him in the face.

"She digs me." Ted said happily.

Chris:Alright campers, please report to the lunch hall for your first challenge!

*Cut to lunch hall.*

Chris:Alright campers, your next to challenge, is a little game I like to call, Dirt or Dare.

"What's dirt or dare?" Ted asked. Chris laughed.

"Funny you ask. The game works like Truth or Dare, only one catch. If you choose Dirt, you have to tell everyone your most embarrassing moment of your life. If you refuse to do a dirt, then your team loses the challenge, and will not win invincibility. And I'll be seeing that team at bonfire tonight." Chris answered.

"Oh, I'll go first!" Ted yelled taking a bottle out of his components. Jenny rolled her eyes.

"Leave it to Ted to leave empty bottles in his hardrive." Jenny smirked. Courtney still glared at Jenny.

"I still don't trust you." Courtney warned.

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	10. Word Of Embarrassment

Total Drama Action

Part 10:The Word Of Embarrassment

"Alright, Ted's first!" Chris anounced happily. Ted spun the bottle quickly.

"Spin the bottle round and round! Where will it land, nobody knows!" Ted yelled happily. Ed smiled.

"I know what's in my nose." Ed said happily to Bessie. Bessie slowly inched away. The bottle then landed on Ed.

"Dirt or Dare Ed?" Ted asked. Ed smiled.

"Dirt! Okay, once..I was on a plane, when we crash landed, and we met the Gaboochie tribe. They taught us how to dance, and we had a fiesta, and I danced the naked dance of the chicken." Ed said happily, thinking of everyone cheering and throwing chicken heads into a fire. Tyler was shaking the entire time just thinking of chickens. Everyone stared at Ed in fear.

"Okay, I guess that will give me and Chef nightmares for a couple weeks, but eh, good job Ed." Chris said in a scared tone. Ed took the bottle and stuck it into his mouth, then spit it out. It then landed on Heather.

"Okay, um, Dirt or..." Ed was cut off by Heather.

"I know, dare. It's not like I'm deaf. Anyway, I'd rather get a dare."

"Oh, well, I dare you to, ummm.....eat the sand on the beach." Ed said happily. Edd cringed.

"Ed, that's disgusting!" Edd stated. Chris walked over to Heather with a small, table spoon. Ed smiled.

"Just think of it as salt. Really, really, really expired salt." Chris tortured.

"Oh, just shut up chris." Heather said angrily. Ed decided to be what he thought was helpful and ran to Heather, then jabbed the spoonful of sand into her mouth. Ed then tried making a chewing motion in Heather's mouth. Heather threw Ed away, and then swallowed reluctlantly.

"Ed you idiot!' Heather yelled. Ed smiled.

"Why thank you misses." Ed said happily.

20 DIRT/DARES LATER.....

Chris:Alright, we've gone 2 hours without and babies, and Ted just went. Ted spun the bottle, and it landed on Cody.

"Dirt or Dare my good friend Cody?" Ted asked.

"Dare, only because you don't want to know my most embarrassing secret." Cody responded. Ted thought of a sick dare.

"I dare you....to take your clothes off." Ted dared cleverly. Cody went wide eyed.

"Did you say what I think you said?" Cody asked.

"Yes, I did." Ted responded happily. Cody thought for a few minutes with sick thoughts in mind, then came to his decision.

"I CAN'T DO IT! I'm sorry guys, but I'm not going to take my clothes off in front of everyone! Especially the girls!" Cody yelled with tears in his eyes. Everyone on the Gophers groaned.

"This is all your fault Ted! If you hadn't given that stupid dare, Cody would've been spinning right now!" Timmy yelled angrily. Ted smiled embarrassingly.

"Feels pretty bad to be the embarrassed victim, eh Ted?" Jenny asked smirking. Ted walked away angrily.

"The Killer Bass wins again! And as for the Gophers, you better decide who you're voting off, but I have a pretty good idea." Chris said winking at Ted. Ted rolled his eyes.

AN:Yep, finally got one challenge in Chapter easily.


	11. The Smoking Cookie

Total Drama Action

Part 11:The Smoking Cookie

*Confessional booth.*

Heather:Just because I formed an alliance with him, doesn't mean I can't vote him off. Actually, he'll be an advantage to me. So yeah, Cody.

Ted:........Cody......

Timmy:Ted. I don't know what's wrong with him.

Gwen:Cody. A dares a dare, and when there's a dare to be done, and your team's win is on the line, you can't just chicken out, even though it was a sick dare.

Ed:I vote Ted. He's a jerk....

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:Hello everybody, again.....As you may know, there are only 8 marshmallows on this plate, and 9 of you. Here are the people who are safe. Gwen, Izzy, Lindsay, Bessie, Heather, Ed, Timmy.

Everyone got their marshmallows in that order. Chris looked at Cody and Ted. Ted was frowning angrily at Cody. Ed reached into his pocket to get something.

Chris:Cody, Ted. You are the last campers left. Whoever get's there name called, get's to move on to the next week, while who doesn't get called, walks the Dock of Shame, and must ride the Boat Of Losers home, and can never come back......ever.

Cody smiled at Ted confidently, knowing Ted had more votes on him. Ted just sat, ready to hear Cody's name.

Chris:The marshmallow goes to.......

Suddenly, Cody noticed Ed had a cookie in his hand.

"Hey, where did you get that cookie Ed?" Cody asked. Ed smiled scaridly.

Chris:Ted.

"WHAT?!" Cody and Ted both yelled at the same time.

"I was ganna tell you Ted gave me this cookie so I'd vote you off Cody. Sorry." Ed announced embarrassingly. Cody, Ted, and everybody else was wide eyed, even Chris and Chef.

"Well, I didn't see that coming...." Chris said surprisingly.

"Bye bye Cody." Ted said casually. Cody tried to grab Ted's neck while Chef pulled him away.

"Man, that was.....clever Ted." Heather admitted. Ted smiled.

"Hey, that's me. Clever as a clover." Ted laughed. Gwen smacked her face with her head.

"I like this place." Ed said happily.

"Well, that covers this episode, but keep in mind Gophers, there's still 18 weeks left." Chris smirked.

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AN:End of Episode 2. Please send feedback, because it really inspires me when you do.


	12. And, Action!

Chris:Last time on Total Drama Action, the Killer Bass still couldn't find a luphole in their unrelations, but they were still able to beat the Gophers, as Ted went overboard with a dare that freaked Cody out. Originally, Ted was the one to walk the Dock Of Shame, but he bribed Ed with a cookie so he would vote off Cody, then Ted made a corny joke. Get ready for the craziest, most dramatic episode yet of Total...Drama...ACTION!

Total Drama Action

Part 12:And.....Action!

*Cut to Bass cabin.*

"I'm hideous!!" Zim yelled from his bunk. Flapjack was sitting near his bed at the same time.

"See Zim, I made you a new water and skin sanitary suit!" Flapjack laughed. Zim frowned.

"You suculant popsicle called a human, YOU MADE ME UGLY!!" Zim yelled trying to strangle Flapjack. Flapjack laughed thinking Zim was playing with him. The suit, unfortunetly was decorated by Flapjack. It had seaweed covering half of it, while another was crusty sand. Zim then chased Flapjack out of the cabin and onto the campsite. Fortunetly, Jenny decided to break this up.

"Okay guys, now you're getting a little ridiculous...." Jenny said staring at Zim's suit.

"I made it myself." Flapjack spoke happily. Jenny looked at Flapjack strangely.

"I didn't ask, but I'll keep that in mind." Jenny responded uninterested. Flapjack laughed. Jenny grabbed both of them like kids (Technically, Flapjack is a kid) and brough them back to the cabin. When Zim got back to his bunk, or what looked more like a base, he took out what looked like a video diary.

"Ever since I've got here, the flesh bags have treated me like a biped's dookie! I have not decided any alliances, but the flesh lover seems to stick up for me. I shall ask her for an alliance next week, seeing that I am almost invincible when it comes to these dumb games that the smile man calls "challenges"." Zim said to a video camera protruding out of the wall. Without him knowing, Flapjack waved at the camera behind his back. Courtney was watching the whole time, and honestly was getting creeped out by Zim's random talk, and use of the word "flesh bags".

"And as for the intilligence levels, LOW!" Zim yelled, obvisiously waking everyone up. Harold came over to see what he was doing.

"A video diary, sweet." Harold said, scaring the living crud out of Zim.

"Go away you flesh bag!! Or I will implant a mind control in your brain!!" Zim yelled holding up a large circle shaped device.

"Jeez, don't get on my case, gosh!" Harold yelled. Zim smiled, then went back to filming.

*Cut to confessional.*

Zim:..........I HATE FLESHBAGS!!!!!!

Courtney:Okay, now he's gone too far. He's sat in front of that camera the entire time here, he's yelled at every person he's seen, and he's green. I can accept that, but going on someone's case when they're not doing anything at all, not to mention chewing my hair, that's were I cross the line!

*Cut back.*

"If I'm to get my....." Zim suddenly noticed Courtney behind him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING FLESH BAG?!!!" Zim demanded.

"You know what, I've had it with you. Your pesky attitude, your constant yelling, and your wierd cravings. If I have to put up with you for a whole next week, I think I'll explode! All I'll ask is to please stop getting on peoples' cases!" Courtney yelled. Zim sat there, and then frowned.

"GO AWAY!!" Zim yelled. Zim then held up a strange looking piece of meat.

"I'm hypnotizing you with my meat! Bow to the meat!!" Zim yelled, acting as if the meat was a shrine. Jenny, unfortunetly for Courtney, was right there to witness the whole conversation, and then it turned from yelling, to yelling _and _arguing.

"Courtney, stop bullying this kid! Ever since we've got here, you've acted like he's a alien!" Jenny yelled.

"I AM NOT AN ALIEN!!" Zim insisted.

"Bullying? BULLYING?! I've tried to stick up for him, but every time I decide to give him another chance, he yells at another person! How am I bullying, when every person he sees he yells at?" Courtney asked angrily.

"You tell her sweetheart." Duncan laughed enjoying the whole fight. Mr. Blik was watching as well.

"Ha, and to think girls call us disfunctional." Mr. Blik laughed.

"You've never stuck up for him! You've just been the walking brain of our group since this show started!" Jenny said angrily. Zim went back to doing his video diary as the girls argued.

"And it seems that the two girls Courtney and Jenny cannot be functional together. Invader Zim out." Zim finished as the fight continued to go on.

*Cut to Gopher cabin.*

"And that my friend, is where babies come from." Ted finished his conversation with Ed. Ed stared at Ted wide eyed.

"Wow, I never knew babies come from Carmon Sandiego." Ed said confused. Ted nodded his head, then winked at the camera.

*Cut to confessional.*

Ted:I love how gulliable Ed is. He saved my butt in bonfire, and now thinks babies come from Carmon Sandiego.

*Cut back to cabin.*

"Hey Ed, who's best?" Ted asked eyeing Lindsay. Ed looked confused.

"Who's who?" Ed asked. Ted laughed.

"You know who's the best girl here. You've got to be thinking about scoring a girl, right?" Ted asked. Ed smiled.

"Um, well, no. Actually I've been thinking about that dare I made. It was genius wasn't it?" Ed asked.

"Sure, pure genius Ed." Ted responded not caring, still in a daze.

"That's exactly what Eddy would say." Ed said happily.

"That's nice Linds....I MEAN, Ed." Ted stuttered. Ed looked at Ted confusingly, but then knew what was going on.

"Ha ha, you like Lindsay don't you Ted?" Ed asked stupidly. Ted looked insulted.

"Ed! I'll inform I was voted "Smartest In Periods 7,8,9, and 10" back in Tremorton." Ted said, covering up what he really felt.

"Hey, just because you're smart and she's dumb doesn't mean you shouldn't like her." Ed said sounding like a therapist.

"Shut up Ed! Your not my therapist." Ted yelled angrily. Ed laughed, then walked away.

"Liking Lindsay. Pff, you wish." Ted mumbled angrily. Timmy was once again over by Bessie reading another page of the Honeybee handbook.

"And sometimes, even a bee feels embarrassed because of accidents in their hive." Bessie finished. Timmy looked confused.

"Wait, what?" Timmy asked. Suddenly, Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker.

Chris:Attention campers, please report to the ampitheatre for your next challenge, and let me tell you, you don't want to miss it.

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AN:Sorry I paid alot of attention to Zim, I just feel a alien in a human game show needs to be investigated to see how he feels in it.

Also, please comment on the fic. I love when I get feedback, because I just think it's, well, inspiring.


	13. The Dumbest Film Ever

Total Drama Action

Part 13:The Dumbest Film Ever

Chris:Welcome campers, and get ready for your third challenge.

"What is it this time, sit in a bathroom for 6 hours? Drink expired coffee? Bring it to me Chris." Ted yelled impatiently.

Chris:It's none of them, but thanks for the ideas Ted.

Everyone except Lindsay glared at Ted. Ted smiled embarrassingly.

Chris:Your third challenge, is to create your very own, two minute movie. It can be any kind of genre. Action, comedy, horror, **romance**.

Chris looked at Ted with a grin. Ted growled and activated his laser gun.

Chris:I don't think we need any lawsuits Ted. Anyway, the film, has to be 2 minutes exactly. It can have three stars, and as many props as you need.

While the rules were made, Ted thought about the ridiculous output that he liked Lindsay. What did he do to deserve to get this reputation?

Right after the meeting everyone headed back to their cabin.

*Cut to Gopher cabin.*

"Okay, seeing as that we haven't won a single challenge, let's go with action." Ted suggested. Heather then butted in.

"Wait, who said you were team captain? Besides, we might as well do a romance seeing as you have that...." Heather was cut off by a fuming Ted.

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH LINDSAY DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!!" Ted yelled. Heather backed away from Ted. Ted then came up with an idea.

"Alright. We'll take a vote to see who should be team captain." Ted decided. After everyone voted, Ted took the box and took thevotes out.

"And, the Gopher's captain is.......me." Ted said happily.

"Okay, so we're going to do......a comedy." Ted decided changing his mind.

"But that's the lowest point of entertainment. How are we going to win?" Timmy asked.

"Easy my friend. We will use laugh tracks." Ted announced wittyly.

"Uh, no. We're not using a cheesy effect like that." Heather intervened. Ted frowned.

"You know what, stay out of this. I'm the official team leader, and I'm deciding we do comedy!" Ted yelled.

"Fine, but when we lose this challenge and you're voted off, don't come crying to me!" Heather said angrily. Ted laughed.

"Alright, we need cameras, lighting, and two other people as stars. Chop chop!" Ted yelled.

*Cut to Bass cabin.*

"Alright, seeing as we have me on this team, I say we have a whole two minutes of me using my weaponrary." Jenny suggested.

"Wait, there are three stars, so that doesn't mean you get all the screen time." Courtney said.

"Chris said there CAN be three stars, there doesn't have to be." Jenny argued. The girls then commenced to argue again, while Zim searched for his camera to film their movie. Surprisingly, Flapjack was the one to gain everyone's attention.

"Everyone! Let's not fight. If we want to win this challenge, we have to work together. Our differences are the only divider. If we can all pretend that we're all normal, then I'm sure we can pull together and win this challenge." Flapjack said hopefully.

"You're right Flap. Maybe I should've had more sense when it came to visuals. A green kid or a talking cat doesn't make sense. I'm sorry Courtney." Jenny confessed.

"Now let's go kick those Gophers' butts!" Flapjack exclaimed. All of the Bass cheered in happiness. Flapjack had a smug look on his face.

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AN:Surprising that Flapjack was the peacemaker eh? Lol.

As always, please comment and rate.


	14. Romance At It's Gears

Total Drama Action

Part 14:Romance At It's Gears

The Gophers were busy filming, when something went wrong with the camera.

"Oh what's going on now?!" Ted demanded. Ted looked practically like a moron. Ted had a top hat, a pair of sunglasses, and a "Kiss the Director" shirt on.

"Um, I think the memory is full." Lindsay said poking the camera, while it blinked "Low Battery" on the screen. Ted came over with a frown, unplugged the camera, removed the batteries, then stuck in new ones.

"It says low battery Lindsay. Get your facts straight." Ted mumbled angrily.

"Sorry, I'll read t next time." Lindsay apologized.

"Let's take it from the top people!" Ted yelled. Timmy and Ed got into position.

"And...ACTION!!" Ted yelled. Ted juped right into the scene with the two.

"So Tim, how's the weather down there?" Ed asked looking at a script behind the camera.

"Don't you mean, how's the weather up there?" Timmy asked. The laugh track went off.

"Hey hey hey guys! What's the happenings?!" Ted asked running through the fake door.

"We're telling jokes about the weather." Ed laughed.

"Too bad, because I'm under the weather." Ted said sadly. The laugh track went off again.

"What's wrong Ted?" Timmy asked.

"Someone rained on my parade." Ted joked. The laugh track went off again.

"Well, you know what they say, not everything is sunny." Ed said happily. The laugh track went off again.

"Okay, let's stop the film. Goodnight everyone!" Ted said, then shut off the film.

"Okay, amataur job, but it'll do." Ted spoke happily.

*Cut to Bass filming station.*

The Bass had just finished filming their movie. The camerawork was done by Zim, and the movie was just Jenny in a fight scene with robotic nanobots made by Zim.

"See what we can accomplish when we become a team?" Flapjack asked.

"Well, if I've learned anything today, it's that you can't judge a book by its cover. Cat or green kid." Courtney admitted.

"Ha ha! Group hug everyone!" Flapjack suggested. The Bass stared at him.

"I don't think so little guy." Duncan said blankly. Flapjack laughed.

"Well, let's get the video to Chris before tonight." Flapjack suggested running with the video to the bonfire.

*Cut to Gopher filming station."

"So Ed, what did you think of today?" Ted asked sitting with Ed at a table.

"It wasn't very successful, because you didn't tell Lindsay.." Ed was cut off by the most aggrevated being on the planet.

"STOP SAYING I LIKE HER!!" Ted yelled. Ed ran away crying. Ted suddenly felt bad.

"Guh, maybe I can't hide the fact. I like a complete ding dong." Ted admitted to himself.

*Cut to confessional.*

Ted:Okay Ted, you have to tell her. You can't hide the fact that you.....LIKE A COMPLETE MORON!!

*Cut back.*

"Okay, I'm going to go over to her, and tell her. Wait, I should act like a moron so it'll give us something in common." Ted told himself. Ted spotted Lindsay over by the camera. Ted ran over, when suddenly, he tripped over the cord of the camera, and unfortunetly landed on the last thing he wanted to land on......

Lindsay.

Ted suddenly turned a dark maroon, then got off of Lindsay.

"Oh, um, gah, hi Lindsay." Ted sputtered.

"Hi, um, what was your name? Tim?" Lindsay asked. Ted really started regretting this decision.

"Ted. My name is Ted, but good guess on your part." Ted corrected, sounding a little more comfortable in the situation.

"Oh, yeah. Well, did you come to say anything? Lindsay asked. Ted suddenly snapped to reality. His inter thoughts coursed through his mind.

"Uhhhhhhh, yes. Sure I'll talk." Ted admitted.

"Well...what do you want to talk about?" Lindsay asked.

"Well, I was thinking about, you know being friends." Ted suggested.

"You mean like an alliance? I'll join!" Lindsay volunteered.

"Good, that's a relief." Ted said happily.

All the time, however, Heather evesdropped on the conversation.

"Hmph, so, Ted thinks he can make friends with a traitor? Well, let's see how long this lasts." Heather though evily.

*Cut to ampitheatre.*

Chris:Hello campers. As you may have known, your challenge was to create a two minute film. Me and Chef viewed the movies in a private screening room, and man, the Gopher's one, was cheesy.

The Gophers were ready to leave, when Chris cut them short.

Chris:...But, the Bass however, lost the challenge.

"What?! How did we lose the challenge? Our video was gold!" Jenny asked angrily.

Chris:I will agree, it was gold, but did you happen to notice the time on the top of the video camera?

Chris opened up a screen, showed the whole Killer Bass video, but at the end, the recording time read 00:02:01.

Chris:Remember what I said?

*Flashback.*

Chris:The movie has to be two minutes exactly.

*Cut back.*

"Oh yeah..." Jenny realized embarrassingly, but then realized it was Zim's fault because he was working the camera.

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't filmed that extra second, we wold've won the challenge your chowder-head!" Jenny yelled.

"For once I agree with Jenny. You've ruined everything since you got here!" Courtney yelled. Zim then activated his nanobots which went after Jenny, but Jenny blasted them to pieces.

Chris:The Killer Bass are disqualified because of the extra second, which means the Screaming Gophers win!

The Gophers then all cheered. Ted and Lindsay then hugged each other happily, and Ed did what looked like a victory dance.

Chris:Killer Bass, little tough luck right there. I'll see you at bonfire tonight.

"Well, at least Bubby and K'Nuckles must be happy right now seeing that I got the team together." Flapjack said happily.

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:Hello Bass, and welcome to your first bonfire meeting. As you may know, there are ten of you, and only nine marshmallows. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. First marshmallow goes to.....Flapjack.

Flapjack ran up and ate his marshmallow.

Chris:Double D.

Edd walked up calmly and took his marshmallow and put it under his hat.

Chris:Just to speed this up, Courtney, Jenny, Bridgette, Duncan, Tyler, Mr. Blik, and Harold.

Zim looked at the plate to see it was empty.

"Wait, WHERE'S MY SUGAR BALL?!" Zim yelled.

"Sorry Zim, but we got everyone to vote for you." Courtney said to Zim with a smug look on her face. Zim went to attack Courtney, but Chef put a glass dome over Zim. Zim banged on the glass, saying Irkin curses.

"Well, there goes the pscyho freak on our team, so let's pledge to not end up here next week." Jenny suggested.

*Cut to Gopher cabin.*

The Gophers were having a party with people flying everywhere.

"Don't forget everyone, we couldn't have done this without Ted, who guided us to filmmaking victory!" Bessie declared. Everyone cheered while Ted took it all in.

"I have an announcement! A toast to showbiz!!" Ted yelled. Ed ran around the room, yelling and throwing confetti everywhere.

"Hey Ted, did you get her?!" Ed asked from across the room. Ted, for the first time that day, smiled a true smile.

"I sure did Ed!!" Ted yelled holding Lindsay next to him.

"Good job ladies' man!" Ed said happily.

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AN:Please comment on this, this took me hours to write. Yes, the romance between Ted and Lindsay is kinda sappy, but it will develop over time. I promise.


	15. Surrender!

Chris:Last time on Total Drama Action, the campers were instructed to create a two minute film. Of course, the Killer Bass seemed in contention for the win, but their film was disqualified because they ran one second over the limit. Zim was then voted off, because of his constant rambling, and nonstop chaos. This week, there's mre drama than ever. Who will be safe, who will be sorry, who's going to be voted off? Find out this week on the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet on Total...Drama, ACTION!

Total Drama Action

Part 15:Surrender!

*Cut to Gopher cabin.*

"Finally, we get the taste of victory eh Ed?" Ted asked. Ed laughed.

"Yep, and you got your girl. Ha ha ha." Ed laughed.

"Don't mention it Ed. I've had my share of popularity. " Ted whispered to Ed.

"Do you think they have any buttered toast available today?" Ed asked.

"Ed, we've had brown slop for the past 2 weeks. Me and Jenny are starving. Do you think they'd serve buttered toast here?" Ted asked angrily. Ed smiled smuggly.

*Cut to Bass cabin.*

"I miss Zim already." Flapjack sighed. Flapjack then looked at a picture of Zim strangeling him.

"Ah, don't worry about it kid. You'll see him again.....hopefully.....okay so you won't be seeing him again, he was a pest anyway." spoke trying to cheer Flapjack up.

"And besides, you were a hero last week. No shame in being sad." reassured. Flapack then looked out the window, and saw a bear coming toward the cabin.

"Bear!" Flapjack yelled. started freaking out and hid under his blanket. The bear then wandered off again.

"I think my bed is wet." said embarrassinly. Everyone backed away from .

"Oh, just perfect." yelled angrily.

*Cut to main lodge.*

Chris:Hello campers, and welcome to week 4 of TDA. Let me tell you something, this next challenge was thought up from me and Chef. What the challenge is, is to have this guy go around the camp for the whole week.

A shadow suddenly popped up near the door. The shadow got smaller and smaller until....

Chris:Say hello to Kilgore!

Just as Chris said, there was a small, wind up toy standing in front of the door.

"Ba da!" Killgore yelled.

"Oh no..." Jenny said, smacking her face in embarrassment.

"Wait, is that a windup toy?" Ted asked confused.

"Yeah, it is, a really annoying one." Chris corrected. Killgore started hitting Chris's leg.

"Surrender!" Killgore yelled. Chris picked Killgore up.

"You see, this little guy will be here for an entire week. How we'll decide who wins or who loses, is how you react to Killgore. If you ignore him, you'll be safe, but if you're annoyed by him, then that just gives your team more of a chance to have to eliminate someone tonight." Chris instructed. Ted looked confused the entire time.

"Wait, when is he going to annoy us?" Ted asked.

Chris:Any time he likes, and honestly, he doesn't want to annoy you, he just wants to.....I honestly don't know.

"Just perfect..." Ted muttered.

Chris:Your challenge begins........now.

Everyone then ran back to there cabins, except Ted, who still sat there confused.

"Wait, what if we don't say we're annoyed?" Ted asked.

"Dude, just go to your cabin" Chris said sternly.

"Okay." Ted muttered. Ted walked back to the cabin still confused.

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AN:Please comment, please......


	16. Cute, But Deadly

Total Drama Action

Part 16:Cute, But Deadly

At the Gopher's cabin, Ted was reading a book when he heard someone knocking on the door.

"Yo might as well come in. I'm not getting up." Ted yelled. Suddenly, the door flew open, and Killgore walked.

"Surrender!" Killgore yelled as he banged on the bed.

"Listen, please leave the cabin or I'll throw you into the lake." Ted threatened. Killgore stared at Ted for a second then grabbed his head.

"I will disect your brain!" Killgore yelled. Ted grabbed him by the head, then slung him out the window.

Killgore then crashed through the Bass and landed in Flapjack.

"Oo, hi....what was name again?" Flapjack asked. Killgore growled.

"I'M KILLGORE! Destroyer of worlds, and master of torture!!" Killgore yelled. The rest of the Killer Bass came over to see what was going on.

"What's so annoying about him? He's cute as anything." Courtney asked. Jenny frowned.

"Believe me, he'll get on your nerves real fast." Jenny mumbled. When Killgore heard Jenny, he jumped on top of her and tried pulling her.

"Surrender XJ-9!!" Killgore yelled. Everyone laughed at him as he said this.

"Well, for an annoyance he is kind of cute." Courtney admitted. Jenny walked out of the cabin.

"Where are you going Jenny?" Flapjack asked.

"I'm embarrassed to say he's from my town, so I'm not sticking around." Jenny stated angrily.

"Alright, suit yourself." Flapjack said happily holding Killgore.

"I'll get you XJ-9! I'LL GET YOU!!" Killgore declared. Jenny ignored him, not knowing she had already been marked off as an annoyed person.

Later on, Killgore escaped from the Bass cabin, but by a bad stroke of luck, he ran into Izzy.

"Col, a wind up toy. I remember having one of these when I was a kid, only problem was that I ate it when I was five." Izzy said happily picking up Killgore. Killgore tried skirming out, but then gave up and started a brigade of threats.

"Put me down! I will relocate your bowels!" Killgore yelled.

"Wow, this ones even more violent than the last one!" Izzy yelled happily. Killgore screamed and ran away.

*Cut to Gopher cabin.*

"I'll tell you something Timmy, this guy isn't annoying, but he's one wierd robot." Ted told Timmy.

"Well, that's a relief. I thought this would be hard." Timmy said sounding relieved.

All of the sudden, Killgore burst through the door.

"Well look who's here." Ted said laughing.

"I am here for Timmy!" Killgore yelled.

"Go Timmy, you can win the challege for the Gophers right here." Ted assured. Timmy walked over picked up Killgore, and uneasily hugged him.

"Get off me!!" Killgore yelled.

*Cut to next day at main lodge.*

Chris:Hello campers. I am pleased to announce the winner of the Annoyance challenge is.....the Screaming Gophers!

Everyone on the Gophers cheered, and everyone on the Bass looked confused.

"Wait, nobody was annoyed by Killgore. Doesn't that mean it's a tie?" Courtney asked. Courtney looked over at Jenny, and Jenny turned blue in embarrassment.

Chris:Well, Courtney's already figured out why. Anyway, here's a relief for the Killer Bass, you don't have to vote off anybody, because it'll be KILLGORE who decides who gets voted off.

"Are you kidding me?" Jenny said angrily. Killgore looked around anxiously, then when he spotted Tyler, he got an idea.

"You! Red jacket wearer, your eliminated!" Killgore yelled.

"But, I didn't do a single thing." Tyler siad confused. Killgore frowned.

"I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU!! Now walk the dock of shame!!" Killgore yelled.

Chris:Well, that was a shocker. Well, we'll see you next week on Total Drama Action, but this week, I'll let Killgore have the last word.

"SURRENDER!!" Killgore yelled.

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AN:Little surprise eh? Sorry Tyler fans, I just thought Killgore making somebody go when they did nothing would be hilarious.

Anyway, keep up the feedback!!


	17. A Summer Camp Regular

Chris:Last time on Total Drama Action, the campers had to go through a day with a little guy named Killgore, a wind up toy with a serious knack of annoying people. In a astounding development, only Jenny was annoyed by him, but in the end, it was Tyler who was selected by Killgore, because he didn't like him. Boy, with a result like that, that just makes you wonder, who will be the winner? Who will be the loser? Find out today on Total....Drama...ACTION!

Total Drama Action

Part 17:A Summer Camp Regular

At the Gopher cabin, Ted was reading a book entitled "The Worst of Summer Camp".

"Jeez, if I had to do any of this, ANY OF THIS I think I'd die." Ted thought out loud.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cabin, Bessie was reading another part of the Honeybee handbook to Timmy.

"And you see, even a honeybee does not leave a fallen comrad. For example, if a honeybee were to lose his/her stinger, another bee would cut it's stinger off to help that bee." Bessie recited. Timmy looked disgusted.

"That sounds gross Bessie." Timmy said with a green face. Bessie grumbled and put the book back into her suitcase.

"Well, let's hope you don't need it, because this is important information." Bessie scolded. Timmy rolled his eyes.

Ed was walking around the cabin, when he noticed there was an outlet on the wall. Ed looked around, then stuck his tongue out and......

"AHHHHH!!!!!" Ed yelled in pain. All of the Gophers ran over to see what happened.

"Wow, that's gotta hurt." Ted said starin at Ed's burned and bloodied tongue.

"I thought it was a sugar cube!" Ed yelled painfully.

"There's a surprise." Heather said sarcastically. Ted and Lindsay chuckled.

"Well, I'll take care of him for a while, because I'm the only one with medical knowledge here." Ted said picking Ed up and dropping him on Ed's bed.

"I know CPR." Lindsay volunteered.

"No, that won't be necasarry." Ted said thinking of things he shouldn't have been thinking.

"Alright, thanks Ted." Ed thanked happly.

"No problem my little lady's man." Ted complimented.

Chris:Attention campers, please report to the bonfire for your next challenge.

"Well, Ed, you're going to have to sit this one out." Ted said sadly. Ed suddenly bolted up out of the bed.

"No way Jose!" Ed yelled. Ted raised his robotic eyebrow.

"My name is Ted." Ted responded sounding confused.

*Cut to confessional.*

Lindsay:I thought his name was Tom.

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:Welcome campers. Today, or should I say, tonight's challenge, is to camp in the woods.

"Wow, a camp in the woods, scary..." Jenny said blankly.

Chris:This overnight camping trip will include poisonous bugs, man eating bears, and very annoying rashes.

"You do realize I didn't agree to this when I sighed up?" Ted asked. Chris smirked.

Chris:Funny thing, you probably didn't read the entire form.

"Sure I didn't...." Ted grumbled.

Chris:Whoever wins the challenge, gets a free night at the TDA Suite, which includes spas, manacures, and a all you can eat buffet.

"All you can eat?" Both Ed and Timmy asked while slobbering.

Chris:And, to add to this prize, we've set up traps in the woods, so it gives even more of a challenge.

"We're winning this challenge if it's the last thing we do." Courtney said huddling the Bass up.

"Oh please, who made you the leader?" Mr. Blik asked.

"Well, I'm a CIT, doesn't taht qualify as a team leader?" Courtney asked.

"Wow, haven't heard that one before." Duncan joked.

"Oh, just be quiet." Courtney growled.

Chris:Alright campers, you have five minutes to get all the supplies you need, then it's off to the wilderness.

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AN:Please comment, NOW!!


	18. Into The Wild Green Yonder

Total Drama Action

Part 18:Into The Wild Green Yonder

Ted and Ed were walking through the woods with the rest of Gophers.

"So, what are you going to do when we win this challenge?" Ted asked.

"I'm heading for the buffet." Ed laughed. Ted smiled. The simple thought of a buffet made him smile.

"How do you think we'll be able to find food?" Timmy asked Bessie.

"Oh, easy. We'll find a person with the best hunting skills, and they'll get us fish." Bessie assured.

Later on, Ted was wondering where they were going.

"Guys, weren't we here before?" Ted asked.

"I don't remember being here. Why?" Gwen asked. Ted laughed a fake laugh.

"Oh, no reason. It's just because WE'VE PASSED THAT BUSH THAT'S SHAPED LIKE ELI MANNING FIVE TIMES ALREADY!!" Ted yelled. Ed laughed.

"Ted broke the fourt wall." Ed laughed. Ted grabbed Ed's mouth and ripped it off.

"Shut up Ed." Ted said angrily. Ed shook his head yes.

"Now, I say we start right here, because I remember if we take that path behind us, it leads us back to the bonfire. Everyone agree?" Ted asked. Only three people raised their hands.

"Good, let's do it." Ted said annoyed.

Meanwhile wih the Bass, they had already set up camp.

"Okay, now how are we going to get water?" Mr. Blik asked angrily.

"I think I can solve that." Flapjack said happily. Flapjack then made a wierd clicking sound, and then a dolphin came out of a murky lake. Flapjack then opened teh dolphin's mouth up, took fresh water out of it, then closed it again.

"Thanks!" Flapjack said happily. Flapjack ran back to the Killer Bass, and everyone looked disturbed by what just happened.

"What? You've never seen someone do that? I do that all the time back in Stormalong." Flapjack questioned.

"Where was this kid from again?" Courtney asked Jenny. Jenny shrugged her shoulders.

*Cut to Gophers campsite.*

"Wait, why is it called camping again?" Lindsay asked Ted.

"Oh, well, it originated many years ago, where camping was decided to mean many activities, and seeing as you do many things while camping, the definition was decided as "camping"." Ted answered.

Meanwhile, Ed was finding firewood in the forest. Ed was a true venturer to have wits like this. Timmy and Bessie were finding water in the lake, and Heather, Gwen, and Izzy were out somewhere in the woods finding food, because Ted found it suitable for them.

After about 2 hours, everyone except Ed had returned from their duties. Ted was looking at his internal watch like mad, tryng to see how long Ed had been taking.

"Jeez, where is he?!" Ted yelled. Suddenly, a scream went through the forest.

"HELP!!" Ed's voice yelled through the night. everyone went wide eyed.

"Ha, maybe it was just...." Ted was about to finish, when Ed rocketed through the bushes.

"BEAR!!!" Ed yelled. Everyone looked into the bushes, and sure enough, saw a huge grizzly bear.

"This isn't what I had in mind." Ted said scardily. Everyone bolted off and into the forest, while the bear just stared at everyone running away.

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AN:Thanks for all the reviews guys! Keep up the great feedback!!


	19. Who's To Say?

Total Drama Action

Part 19:Who's To Say?

As the Gophers were running from the bear, the Bass were eating what they called dinner, which was really just fried fish and grilled plants.

"I learned how to make these from Bubby." Flapjack said happily.

"Who the heck is Bubby?!" Mr. Blik yelled. Flapjack laughed.

"She's my mom." Flapjack admitted.

"What kind of name is Bubby?" Courtney asked. Flapjack then realized he made a mistake.

"Oh, I forgot, she's a whale." Flapjack said happily. Everyone suddenly went brain dead.

"What did he just say?" Duncan asked. Everyone still stared at Flapjack. Flapjack took a fried fish and started eating again.

*Cut to Gopher camp site.*

"Perfect, that dumb bear ate everything that we had, and he dumped all of our water, and to make matters worse, that moron Ed didn't pick up a single piece of firewood! This is all your fault!" Heather yelled pointing at Ted.

"My fault?! I told you guys to do simple things! You shouldn't be the one to critize people considering you didn't get a single piece of food!" Ted yelled.

"Why don't you go back to your house mamma's boy." Heather said angrily. Ted's breaking point broke, and then he went insane.

"Why don't you shut up!!" Ted yelled. Ted then pushed Heather.

"You can't push a girl!" Heather yelled.

"You're not a girl, YOU'RE A DEMON!!!" Ted yelled. Heather kicked Ted, then walked away angrily.

"Yeah you better run!!" Ted yelled.

The next morning, Ted woke up to see everyone was gone. The tent was gone, the firewood was left smoking, and there was damp dirt all around.

"They left me didn't they?" Ted asked hismelf. Ted ran through the bushes and ran down the path to the bonfire. Suddenly, Ted heard a rustle in bushes. Suddenly, Bessie popped out of the bushes.

"Bessie? What are you doing here?" Ted asked very confused.

"A honeybee never leaves a fallen comrade Ted." Bessie recited.

"Yeah, yeah. Just get me out of here so we can win." Ted said anxiously.

By the time Bessie and Ted got there, the Bass were already there.

"Where were you two?" Haether asked angrily.

"A honeybee never leaves a fallen comrade, or in this case, a _abandoned _comrade." Bessie responded glaring at Heather.

"And as for me, you left me you jerk!" Ted yelled angrily at Heather.

Chris:The Killer Bass win, and they got a free night at the TDA Inn.

Everyone on the Bass then celebrated with a big cheer.

Chris:As for you Gophers, a little team fued right there. I'll see you at the campfire tonight.

*Cut to confessional.*

Heather:I'm voting off Ted, because he's an arrogant jerk. And if you think this alliance is still going on, IT'S NOT!

Ted:Heather. Anyone with a brain could vote her off.

Timmy:I'd hate to say it, but Bessie slowed Ted down. I'm voting Bessie.

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:Hello Gophers. As you know, there are only seven marshmallows on this plate. Whoever does not recieve a marsmallow must immeadetly report to the Dock of Shame, to the Boat Of Losers, and never came back......ever. The first marshmallow goes to.....Heather.

Heather gave Ted a smug look as she passed. Ted looked nervous by now.

Chris:Lindsay, Ed, Timmy, Gwen, Izzy.

Bessie and Ted both stared at each with fear, then looked back at the marshmallow that was left.

Chris:Bessie, Ted, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. Whoever doesn't recieve this marshmallow does not move on.

Ted started biting his hands, while Bessie sat there in fear. Ted began shaking violently.

Chris:The final marshallow of the evening goes to.......Ted.

Bessie went wide eyed, while Ted suddenly felt giddy and ran up to claim his marshmallow.

Chris:That means curtains for you Bessie, and I don't mean the drapes.

Bessie walked sadly to the Dock Of Shame, while Chris laugehd at his own joke.

"Wait, what are drapes?" Lindsay asked. Ted burst into laughter after realizing the joke.

Chris:I guess we had a exciting episode this week, but remember to tune in next time for Total Drama Action.

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AN:End of episode five. I felt like unleashing some humor with this episode.

Anyway, COMMENT!

Also, no spam reviews, because that last one I found was annoying.


	20. Fear, Another Word For Fun

Chris:Last time on Total Drama Action, the campers were instructed to spend a whole night in the woods. In a stunning development, the Bass discovered Flapjack's mom was really a whale. Ted and Heather, however had alot to argue about, and this ended up costing the Gophers the challenge. Although Ted was about to be voted off....again, Bessie was ultimatley voted off in an astounding vote process. Now, today we have a challenge ful of hilarity, and all the drama you'd expect on Total....Drama....ACTION!

Total Drama Island

Part 20:Fear, Another Word For Fun

"I told you, I'm not buying your buttered gravy!" Ted exclaimed. Ed was trying himself to scam people into buying buttered gravy, and unfortunetly, Ted was trying to get his "beauty sleep".

"But it'll help me become the winner of Total Drama Action Ted." Ed reasoned. Ted eyebrowed Ed.

"Whoever said you were going to win?" Ted asked suspiciously. Ed smiled.

"When I said I was going to win!' Ed yelled. Ted and Ed planted their faces next to each other, growling at each other.

"I suggest we don't talk about this topic anymore." Ted suggested.

"I think so as well.....um, what was your name?" Ed asked. Ted facepalmed.

"First Lindsay, and now you?" Ted asked angrily. Ted walkd out the door angrily. Ted then decided to play a trick on the Gophers by pretending to be a ghost. Ted then walked to the kitchen to find flower. As Ted was searching around, he looked in the fridge and found a burrito. Ted stared at it for a few second in fear.

"AAHHHHH!!!!" Ted screamed. Ted bolted out of the kitchen, and then back to the cabin. Everyone ran to Ted to see what was going on.

"What happened Ted? Did a bear attack you like Yoggi attacked Mr. Cottonswob in "I Was A Apple's Lover"?" Ed asked. Everyone stared at him.

"What, I read comics." Ed said happily holding up a comic that read "I Was A Apple's Lover".

"Yeah, anway....sorry. I saw......a burrito." Ted said sounding scared. Everyone burst out laughing.

"You freaked out over a silly burrito?" Gwen asked still laughing. Ted quivered his lip.

"I don't like burritos! They're so gooey, and cheesy, and gross, and dry....." Ted was about to go on, when Ed randomly threw up.

"Sorry, all of that remind me of expired gravy. I don't like expired gravy." Ed said cleaning barf off his jacket and mouth.

"Well, I don't like baby toys, I would know, because I'm eleven." Timmy said looking grossly at Ed picking through his nose, and taking out a giant red toy building block.

"Well, I'll tell you what, that right there isn't a building block to our team." Ted joked pointing at the the block on Ed's finger.

Everyone then howled in laughter like hyenas. Ted felt proud telling easy jokes and giving the team a laugh, only this time, Heather didn't laugh. Ted smirked at Heather, trying to send a message that he wasn't eliminated like she thought.

Meanwhile, the Bass were just coming back on their boat from their inn visit.

"Man, I still can't believe I ate all of that seafood platter." Flapjack said admireably. Mr. Blik looked at Flapjack squarely.

"Did you happen to notice what that flubbery black stuff you were eating was?" Mr. Blik asked smirking.

"Umm, seafood?" Flapjack asked confused. Mr. Blik laughed.

"No, it was whale blubber." Mr. Blik answered. Flapjack then ran to the bathroom and started barfing up the blubber.

"What the heck happened to you?" Mr. Blik asked.

"I'm sorry, I hate whale blubber, especially eating it." Flapjack answered. Mr. Blik grumbled.

"Don't make me laugh, I'm afraid of water." Mr. Blik said eyeing the ocean scaridly.

"Wow, me too." Jenny chimed in. Mr. Blik laughed.

"Ha, and you said you were fearless." Mr. Blik laughed.

Chris:Alright campers, it's time for your next challenge! Please meet me and Chef Hatchet at the campfire in 5 minutes!

"Perfect, one night and then back to challenges." Courtney moaned.

"Oh come on, how bad could it be?" Jenny asked.

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AN:Please send feedback, reviews, or any kind of encouragement you can think of!


	21. Attack Of The Killer Burrito

Total Drama Action

Part 21:Attack Of The Killer Burrito

Chris:Hello campers, and welcome to the new week of TDA!

Everyone groaned in response to this.

Chris:Today, before we get on with the next challenge, we are going to trade teammates today!

Everyone except Ted gasped in surprise, while Ted just laughed.

"Eh, not one person wants to trade me." Ted said confidently. Everyone frowned at Ted.

"You should talk. You're the reason why we lost last night." Gwen remarked. Ted went wide eyed, then laughed embarrassingly.

Chris:For the team who will choose who gets traded, we will flip a coin. Gophers, what's you choice?

Ted though for a moment, and in his cyborg head, images of disembodied heads and tails floated around in his head.

"HEADS!" Ted yelled. Everyone backed away from him.

Chris flipped the coin, and it landed on heads.

Chris:Well Gophers, you get to choose who you want and will trade.

Ted once again thought. Ted looked at Flapjack licking a candy cane from the TDA Inn, and then eliminated him from contention. Ted then glanced at Duncan, who freaked Ted out thinking of what camp would be like with him. Then, Ted remembered how Courtney seemed to be the command to everything the Bass did. Ted decided what to do after 2 minutes.

"We will trade.....Timmy for Courtney." Ted said wittingly. Thinking about nothing at all, Ed grabbed Timmy and threw him to the Bass.

"Bye bye Beaver Boy!" Ed laughed. Ted frowned.

"Anyway....Timmy for Courtney." Ted said again.

"Well, shocking, but ironic. Looks like you need a guide for your brain Ted." Chris remarked. His reward was a sock to the face by Ted.

"Wait, why are we trading in the first place? Weren't we supposed to remain on these teams the whole time?" Duncan asked questionably.

"Well, me and Chef Hatchet decided on this last night." Chris said rubbing his face. Jenny smiled happily.

"That's right Courtney, run along." Jenny remarked. Courtney growled.

*Cut to confessional.*

Courtney:I'm finally glad I'm off of Jenny's team. She's the most ignorant player on this team....besides Duncan.

*Cut to campfire 2 minutes later.*

Chris:Your next challenge, is what I call Phobia Factor.

"He can't be serious. I have to be buried alive...again?" Gwen asked angrily. Chris laughed.

Chris:No. Instead, you will choose only 3 campers to face their fears. You will 2 points a person. Whoever has the most points by the end of the day wins.

"Wait, what's a phobia?' Ted asked stupidly.

"What are you, an idiot?" Courtney asked. Ted then saw a fly, and then grabbed it with a robotic tongue and ate it.

"Guh, well, at least we don't have to worry about any stupid fears getting in our way." Courtney said relieved.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Chris replied. Chris snapped his fingers, and Chef walked in with a burrito attached to a fishing hook above Ted. Ted stared at it in fear.

"AHHHH!!!!" Ted screamed like a banshee wailing into the woods. Courtney smacked her face.

"Looks as if I spoke too soon." Courtney corrected.

*Cut to a hour later at the Bass cabin.*

Timmy was reading a book, when suddenly a blcok hit him on the head.

"What the heck is this?" Timmy asked holding it in his hand. Timmy read the bottom, it read "Babies N' Things" in babish letters. Timmy threw it in rage out the window.

"Man I wish Cosmo and Wanda were here." Timmy said silently. Suddenly, Cosmo and Wanda poofed in front of Timmy.

"GUYS! What are you doing here!?" Timmy yelled.

"Duh genius, whatever wish you ask, we grant." Cosmo replied.

"But people will see you! Besides, you can't make me win a competition." Timmy said distinkly.

"Well, Da Rules never said we can't _help _you win a competition." Wanda replied smartly.

"True that." Timmy said thoughtfully.

"Um, Timmy, who are these guys?" The camera man asked. Timmy then tackled the camera man.

"Wow, those scars sure do look like they hurt." Cosmo said watching Timmy beat the snot out of the camera man.

"You're an idiot Cosmo." Wanda replied.

*Cut to woods.*

Ted was sitting on a tree stump, shivering a talking to himself.

"Happy place, happy place...." Ted mummered. Suddenly, a burrito popped up in front of Ted.

"GAHHHH!!!" Ted screamed running into a bee hive, then hitting a tree, then running into a bear. The bear growled, then trampled Ted. Chef laughed.

"I love this job!" Chef exclaimed happily.

*Cut to confessional.*

Ted (Bandaged and bruised):Yeah, that burrito really scares me.

The burrito then popped up in the confessional.

Ted: WHAAHHHH!!!!

Ted then ran out, and Chef walked in and raised his eyebrows in happiness.

*Cut back to Gopher camp.*

"How long do you think it'll be until Ted gives up?" Heather asked Courtney while watching Ed pour expired gravy into his mouth on the dock.

"Probably 30 minutes, give or take." Courtney responded. Ted then ran past screaming at the top of his lungs from Chef's burrito.

"Yeah, maybe less." Courtney corrected.

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AN:Yep, now Courtney is on the Gophers and Timmy is on the Bass. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, because I got a few kicks out of it, LOL.


	22. Ted Goes Pyscho

Total Drama Action

Part 22:Ted Goes Pyscho

At the Gopher cabin Ed was looking under Ted's bed and trying to get him out.

"Come on Ted! Your too much of a ladies' man to be scared and hiding under the bed." Ed groaned. Ted just whimpered.

"BURRITO!!" Ted yelled. Ed then pulled the ground that Ted stood on. Ted then fell to the ground.

"I just can't go out there Ed! There's a burrito out there, and I can't go out there because.......THERE'S A BURRITO OUT THERE!!" Ted exclaimed. Ed suddenly had a look of confidence on his face.

"I've got an idea, but first, you need to get me two blind-folds." Ed said pushing Ted away. Ted had a solid look on his face, but left anyway.

"Ha ha. I've got a plan." Ed chuckled. Ed then ran to get Lindsay.

*At the Killer Bass cabin.*

"NO! Stay away!!" Both Mr. Blik and Jenny yelled. Chef had gotten only a cup of water, and the two were scared out of their wits. Mr. Blik looked around, and then found a rowboat on the wall.

"So long suckers!" Mr. Blik exclaimed as he rowed out of the room. Jenny and Chef looked at each other in disbelief, and then went back to the way they were before. Jenny decided it took durastic meausres to stop her fear, so she activated her flamethrower, and burned the cup to a crisp, but also burned Chef. Chef just growled and walked out.

Chris:And that's the first two points for the Bass!

*Cut to confessional.*

Jenny:Well, now that I've gotten two points for us, I really think now that we can win this challenge.

Mr. Blik:That robo girl is pretty fantastic when it comes to challenges, there's just something about that attitude I can't get over.

*Cut to cliff.*

"Alright Ted, I'll be right back!" Ed hollered running down the hill leaving Ted blind folded on the hill.

"I just hope you're not trying to kill me!" Ted yelled back. Ed then found Lindsay at the cabin.

"Lindsay, are you ready?" Ed asked anxiously. Ed had blind-folded Lindsay as well.

"Yeah, but why are we doing this again?" Lindsay asked. Ed laughed.

"You'll see." Ed said winking at the camera.

*Cut to confessional.*

Ed:I arranged a romantic little scene from the movie "I Wish I Had Mutant Legs". In the scene, the human boy is depressed, so he does some wierd thing with the mutant which involves lips or something.

*Cut to cliff.*

Ed led Lindsay over to the cliff, near Ted, and got ready for his plan's effect.

"Alright Ted, shoot your lips out like the Belly Button Monster from the great beyond." Ed commanded. Somehow, Ted understood what he said and puckered his lips. Ed slowly pushed Lindsay toward Ted, but then lost his balance, and Lindsay ran right into Ted, and then the two locked lips.

For a moment, Ted couldn't understand the sensation, but then he knew what had happened. Ted took his blindfold off to see Ed on the ground and Lindsay's red face. Ted was red, but not with embarrasment, but with anger. Ted's face erupted, and then stomped toward Ed. Chef came over with the burrito. Ted glared at the burrito, then grabbed it and tore it in two pieces, then threw it down the cliff. Then Ted grabbed Chef, and threw him down as well.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!! YOU ARRANGED SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! I'M JUST HER FRIEND!!!!" Ted blared like a fire engine siren. Ed sat there cowering in fear. Ted prepared to throw Ed off the cliff, when he calmed down and stopped.

"Look Ed, you can't do that. Sorry old guy." Ted said sadly. Ed chuckled.

"All in a day's work." Ed admitted. Ted walked over to Lindsay.

"And I'm especially sorry for you Lindsay." Ted apoligized.

"That's alright. Ed was just trying to be a good friend. Are we still friends?" Lindsay asked. Ted smiled, then frowned sarcastically.

"Nope.........best friends...." Ted answered laughibly.

"Ahh, group hug." Ed said happily grabbing the two and practically strangling them. Unknowingly, Ted poured a bowl of expired gravy into his mouth.

"Hey, you made me face my fear!" Ed yelled happily.

Chris:Well, now the Gophers have two points, seeing as Ted tore a burrito in half, and Ted chugged expired gravy down Ed's throat.

"Whoo hoo!" Ted and Ed both yelled happily.

*At the bonfire later on.*

Chris:Okay, so it's down to the last two people. Timmy for the Bass or Courtney for the Gophers. Who will win?

"Alright, so Timmy do you think you can do this?" Flapjack asked.

"Of course Flap, I can do this." Timmy assured. Timmy walked over to Chris, when suddenly, a even bigger toy block landed on his back. Timmy then started gasping for air.

"Can't.....breath.....Chris you idiot why did you do this to me?!" Timmy asked grasping.

Chris:Well, the producers are the ones who put these commercials on TV, so we gotta make commercails happen. You dig?

Timmy was too busy choking to death to listen.

Chris:Alright, so the Gophers need Courtney to face her fear to win the challenge.

"Oh, I can help!" Ed blurted. Ed jumped onto Ted's head and started pressing random buttons.

"ED! What are you doing?!" Ted yelled.

"Helping the Gophers Ted!" Ed responded. Suddenly, Ed clicked a button that said "Jello", and suddenly his laser arm came out and blasted jello all over Courtney.

"Eh, you know how much jello freaks me out you didiots!" Courtney exclaimed. Ted and Ed were too busy laughing.

"No mas." Ted responded in Spanish.

"Kay...." Ed responded in Spanish as well.

Chris:Well, seeing as Courtney, Ed, Ted all got to face their fears, the Gophers wn Phobia Factor!

"YEAH!!" Ted and Ed both yelled happily like little girls running around and knocking stuff over.

Chris:Bass, I'll see you at the bonfire tonight. Get ready to vote someone off.

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:As you know, whoever doesn't get a marshmallow, must immeadetly report to the Dock of Shame, ride the Boat Of Losers, and never come back.....ever.

"How many times do you think he's said that?" Timmy asked Flapjack. Flapjack giggled.

Chris:The first marshmallows go to.....Duncan, Bridgette, Harold, Flapjack, and Mr. Blik.

Jenny suddenly felt in danger of losing, while Timmy was nervous as ever.

Chris:The final marshmallow goes to.....Jenny.

Jenny ran up happily, while Timmy glared.

"Well, I guess getting cheated out of this place is fair. REAL FAIR!!" Timmy yelled. Timmy then walked back to the dock.

"Let's just hope we don't end up back here again, because now, I'm the captain." Jenny announced. Everyone groaned, while Flapjack giggled.

"Great..." Jenny muttered.

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AN:End of this episode. The next one is going to be awesome, so just wait.

Until then, COMMENT!!!


	23. Mr Talent

Chris:Last time on Total Drama Action, the campers re-visited an old challenge were the campers would face their fears. Many stood up to the challenge, but only Jenny, Mr. Blik, Ted, Ed, and Courtney would face their fears, but the Gophers would win the challenge, and Timmy would be the next to be voted off. What will happen this week on the most under talented episode of Total....Drama....ACTION!

Total Drama Action

Part 23:Mr. Talent

At the Gopher cabin, Ted was busy.....well, listening to his music. Ted never listened to anything beside his music. Ted suddenly heard a bang. Ted looked outside to see Ed running around.

"What are you doing?" Ted asked walking outside.

"Well, I'm practicing my singing voice. I've always had a liking to that kind of stuff." Ed responded.

"Me too! I'm a little more of a rock, classic kind of guy. You dig?" Ted said trying to sound cool.

"Well, you want to sing after dark tonight as entertainment fo our group if we win?" Ed asked. Ted smiled.

"I'd totally agree with that." Ted said happily walking with Ed to the cabin.

*Cut to Killer Bass cabin.*

"DUNCAN! Get out here!" Jenny yelled. Duncan ran in.

"What is it? I've got more important things to do." Duncan responded blaitanly.

"I thought I told you to clean up your bunk, and what do I see on your bunk, and mine?!" Jenny asked pointing to a mound of dirt on Duncan and Jenny's bunk.

"Hey, at least you didn't see what my bed looked like in juve." Duncan responded.

"Is that what you have to say for yourself?" Jenny asked angrily.

"Pretty much." Duncan said walking out.

"I'm not cleaning this up you worthless excuse for a teenager!" Jenny shouted. Duncan laughed.

"Yeah, what can you do that's normal for a teenager?" Duncan asked. Jenny bent her head down sulkingly. She knew she couldn't respond to something like that. Jenny walked back to her bunk, and just sat there thinking how hard it would be to keep the team under control.

*Cut to shed.*

"Alright, let us recite. We are going to do what song?" Ted asked.

"Umm, I forget..." Ed said sadly.

"Don't worry, the song we're doing is..." Ted was cut off by Chris on the microphone.

Chris:Campers, please report to the Ampitheatre for your next challenge.

"Well, that's our cue eh Ed?" Ted said walking over to the Ampitheatre.

"Right behind you girlfriend." Ed said happily.

"Ed.....don't say that ever again." Ted muttered.

*Cut to Ampitheatre.*

Chris:Good morning campers! Welcome to this new week of Total Drama Action. Today's challenge, is what I call....well, a talent contest.

Most people were either unimpressed, disgusted, or in Ted and Ed's case, giddy. Ted and Ed grinned at each other.

"Ed, do you know what this means?" Ted asked happily.

"Free napkins?!" Ed responded.

"No, we get to sing our song in front of not only the Gophers, BUT THE WHOLE CAMP!" Ted yelled.

"MATH IS POWER!" Ed yelled back.

Chris:Alright campers, decide who's going to be performing. After that, it's showtime.

*Cut to Gopher cabin a few hours later.*

"Alright, so our performers will be Lindsay, me, and Ed." Ted announced.

"Wait, we didn't even get to know what everyone was doing, doesn't that mean we need to vote?" Heather asked angrily.

"Hey momma's girl, who's the boss here, me." Ted responded. Heather frowned.

"Anyway, let our winning performances BEGIN!" Ted yelled.

*Cut to Killer Bass cabin.*

"So, we have a deal, me, Flapjack, and Mr. Blik will be performing. Got it?" Jenny asked. Everyone nodded, except Duncan. Jenny's smile broke into a frown as she walked over to Duncan.

"Would you like some sense knocked into you?" Jenny asked getting ready to punch Duncan.

"Fine fine." Duncan responded smile a sarcastic smile.

"Thanks..." Jenny muttered angrily.

Chris:Campers, please report to the Ampitheatre for the Talent Contest right about......now.

All of the camper then ran to the ampitheatre.

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AN:You'll be surprised about some of the performances next up. Get ready for some great song memorization. Until then,

COMMENT!!!!


	24. Dry In Talent

Total Drama Action

Part 24:Dry In Talent

As the campers sat down, a huge list of performers of the show came down.

Chris:Hello campers, and welcome to the Second Annual Camp Talent Extravaganza. Today's performers in order are Mr. Blik, Lindsay, Jenny, Ted **AND **Ed, and finally Flapjack.

"Well, that's my cue. By suckers, and watch talent unfold." Mr. Blik announced. Mr. Blik walked up to the stage.

"For tonight, I will pull off, MAGIC!" Mr. Blik exclaimed. Everyone yawned, except for Ted and Ed who clapped.

"Whoo hoo! Magic!" Ed yelled. Ted smiled happily. Mr. Blik sat there until Ted and Ed stopped clapping.

"For my first trick, I'll pull a rabbit out of my hat." Mr. Blik said happily. Mr. Blik reached into the hat and dug around, until finally he pulled Waffle out of his hat.

"Waffle! What are you doing here?!!" Mr. Blik yelled. Waffle stared at him.

"Oops, looks like I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque." Waffle muttered. Waffle hoped back into the hat. Mr. Blik smiled embarrassingly. A cricket chirped in the bushes.

"Well, now I'll do a classic. I will chop someone in half." Mr. Blik said pulling out a saw.

"Now who wants to volunteer?" Mr. Blik asked. Everyone was silent. Mr. Blik suddenly pointed at Edd.

"You look like you've got a few years left in your life." Mr. Blik said happily. Mr. Blik grabbed Edd and prepared to saw him in half, when Chris grabbed Edd.

Chris:Sorry wierd cat dude, but we're not aloud to pull off something like this on live TV.

Mr. Blik frowned, then walked off the stage in dissapointment.

Chris:Alright, in total, Grand Master Chef gives that performance a 4 out of a total 10.

Mr. Blik grumbled, then sat down.

*20 minutes later.*

Chris:Alright we've had Mr. Blik and Lindsay go up, and so far, Lindsay leads with 7 out of 10 points. Next up is Jenny.

"Let's see how this turns out. Let's hope she breaks a leg.....literally." Ted whispered to Courtney. Courtney smirked, but stopped when Jenny walked over.

All of the sudden, Jenny activated her boosters and flew up to stage, and blasted a tree down with her laser limb, then activated her buzzsaw and launched it at another tree. Everyone was speechless, but she wasn't done yet. Then Jenny blasted her laser, with barely missed hitting Courtney.

"Hey, watch your aim Robo-Freak!" Courtney exclaimed. Jenny chuckled.

"Sorry, slipped." Jenny said sarcastically.

Chris:Well, I don't know about Courtney, but I'd think everyone agrees that Jenny's performance gets a total of 8 out of 10!

"Wow, that's a surprise, considering she's a stuck up, lint sniffing...." Ted was suddenly blasted back into the woods. Everyone except Courtney, Ed, and Lindsay chuckled.

"That's one HOT laser beam!" Ted yelled from the bushes.

Chris:Well, with two people left with the Killer Bass leading, I think they've got the best chance to win.

"Oh don't say that yet Chris!" Ted yelled. Ted got up and grabbed Ed and walked backstage.

"You ready Ed?" Ted asked Ed excitingly.

"Uh huh! I'm as happy as...." Ed was interupted by Ted.

"Please......no more comic book references." Ted said patting him on the back. Ed smiled and pulled out two pairs of tuxes, top hats, and canes, and put them on.

"Now let's raise the roof off this island." Ted said happily. Ted and Ed ran out and........

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AN: You'll be surprised next chapter. Until then, be content with a Catscratch cameo and a little humor.

COMMENT!!!!!!!!


	25. Jitterbug

Total Drama Action

Part 25:Jitterbug

Ted and Ed ran out and Ted grabbed the microphone in a flourish.

"This one goes out to a very special person!" Ted yelled into the microphone in a ear shattering voice. Ted threw the microphone away, and activated his own microphone and shut the lights off. Then they began to sing.

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_Jitter bug...._

_You put the boom boom into my heart, ya set my soul sky high when your lovin starts!_

_Jitterbuga into my brain, _

_Yeah yeah!_

_It's goes bang bang till my feet do the same._

_Somethings buggin you, something ain't right. My best friend told me what you did last night,_

_Left me sleeping, in my bed. I was dreaming when I should've been with you instead!_

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hangin on like a yo-yo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go. I don't want to miss when you hit that high._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, I don't plan on going solo._

_Wake me up before you go-go, take me dancing tonight!_

_I want to hit that highhhhhhhh! Yeah yeah!_

_You put the grey skies out my way, you make the sun shine bright like doris day!_

_You turn a bright spark into a flame, yeah yeah!_

_Now please burn anything while we're in the same._

_Now, your my lady, I'm your fool, it makes me crazy when you act so cool!_

_Come on baby, let's not fight, we'll go dancing, everything will be alright!_

_Wake me up, before you go-go. Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, I want to see ya hit that high._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, I don't plan on going solo._

_Wake me up before you go-go, take me dancing tonight!_

_I want to hit that highhhhh!!!!!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah!_

_Babe, babe, baby!_

_Jitterbug_

_Jitterbug_

_Cuddle up baby, move in tight, we'll go dancing tommorow night._

_It's cold out there but it's warm in bed, they can dance, we'll stay home instead!_

_Jitterbug_

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo._

_Wake me up before you go-go, don't wanna miss you hit that high._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, cause I don't plan on going solo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, take me dancing tonight!_

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't you dare leave hanging like a yo-yo._

_Hanging on like a yo-yo!_

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't want to miss you when you hit that high._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, cause I don't plan on going solo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go ah, take me dancing tonight!_

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, don't wanna miss you when you hit that high._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, I don't plan on going solo._

_Wake me up, before you go-go, take me dancing tonight!_

As Ted finished, the whole bunch of campers burst into applause. Ed and Ted slapped hands in approval, and then Ted fell to the ground.

"You okay Ted?" Ed asked.

"Fine, a little dizzy....but fine." Ted responded weakly. Ted then got back up and bowed, but then fell of the stage. Ted was still singing to himself, and Ed carried Ted off the front.

Chris:Well, there's only one answer to that performance....AWESOME! Unfortunetly, Grand Master Chef only scored it a 9 out of 10.

"Are you kidding me? I busted my a** out there for nothing?" Ted asked angrily in a wheelbarrow carried by Ed.

Chris:Eh, don't worry about it, there's no way Flapjack can win it, unless we add some drama to the mix, but you know us, no drama here.

"He's on to something isn't he?" Gwen asked. Ted smirked.

"When isn't he up to something?" Ted joked. Everyone laughed to this, except the Bass, who were still dumbfounded by the performance given.

"Well, we're done for." Jenny said smacking her hand on her face.

"Got that right." Duncan agreed.

"Don't worry friends, I'll furfill destiny!" Flapjack laughed walking up the stage.

"Correction, we're double done for." Jenny corrected.

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AN:YES! I finally got to upload Ted and Ed's performance in. Sorry that the lyrics took most of the discussion out, but I know It fizzed the Talent Contest drama up a notch.

COMMENT, NOW!!!


	26. Adventure Is Action

Total Drama Action

Part 26:Adventure Is Action

Flapjack ran onto stage, and grabbed the now trashed microphone from Ted's performance.

"Hi everyone. I'm going to sing a song." Flapjack said happily. Jenny groaned, and Duncan plugged his ears, when suddenly, the strangest thing happened, because everyone heard Flapjack's voice came out as, well, manly.

_Let's get down to business, to become, adventurers!_

_Did they send me babies, when I asked, for men?_

_Your the saddest bunch I've ver met, but you can bet, before this show is through, that I'll, make a adventurer, out of you._

_Loud as a cannon, but a peace, within in._

_Once you find your center, you are sure to adventure well._

_Your a spineless, pale, pathetic lot. And you haven't got a clue._

_Somehow I'll, make a adventurer, out of you._

_BE A ADVENTURER!_

_You must be swiff as a coursing river, with all the force of a great ocean wave, with all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the deep side of the sea!_

_Time is racing toward us, before we go, on a quest, to discover our true side, of our souls._

_Heed my every command, and you might, just find your calling hand!_

_If your not prepared for this great moment, then pack your bags, and move!_

_How can I, make a adventurer, out of you?_

_BE A ADVENTURER!_

_You must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great ocean wave, with all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the deep side of the sea!_

_BE A ADVENTURER!_

_You must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great ocean wave, with all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the deep side of the sea!_

Then when he was done, Fapjack's face went from beady red to normal, and then was laughing.

"Thanks everyone. I hope you enjoyed my song about adventurers." Flapjack said happily. Now Jenny was speechless, as Duncan was.

Chris:I hate to say it because I liked Ted's more, but Master Chef gives that performance a 10 out of 10.

Ted suddenly fell to the ground and fainted. Ed poked Ted's moitonless body.

Chris:That means the Killer Bass win by inches.

Flapjack and the rest of the Bass cheered as the whle team carried Flpajack back to the cabin.

"Adventure!" Flapjack called. Ted came back to conciousness when Ed dropped a bucket on his head.

"We lost?!" Ted yelled.

Chris:Yep, and you'll be seeing me tonight at the bonfire.

Ted fainted again in astonishment.

*Cut to confessional.*

Ted:Wow, really no one in particular, except maybe Heather just because I don't like her.

Heather:Nobody really this week, except maybe, Ed.

*Cut to bonfire.*

Chris:Hello everyone. As you know, one person will be walking the Dock Of Shame tonight. The first marshmallows go to, Ted, Lindsay, Gwen, Heather, and finally.....

Ed looked confused as ever and finally, the final marshmallow was announced.

Chris:The final marshmallow goes to Izzy.

Ed's face deflated, but then Ted started to sob.

"WHY?!!" Ted cried. Ed ran over to Ted and hugged him.

"I LIKED YOU TED!" Ed yelled. Ed sulkingly walked to the Dock Of Shame.

"But I don't understand. Why was he voted off?" Lindsay asked. Ted sighed.

"Look, I don't know, but I guess it's just life. At least I still have you Lindsay." Ted said a little chummy.

"Hey Ted!" Ed yelled from the Boat Of Losers.

"What Ed?" Ted asked yelling.

"YOUR A LADIES' MAN!" Ed yelled. Ted's eyes filled with tears, and then fell on the dock sobbing, and was only brought back to the cabin by the other campers.

"I'M SAD!!" Ted sobbed. Ted then fell on the ground and yelled to himself in anger, but then began singing the words to his performance.

_You put the boom boom into my heart, you set my soul sky when your loving starts......._

Ted then smiled happily at the thought of staying with Lindsay, but also the friendship he shared with Ed.

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AN:Yep, I customized a original song for Flapjack's performance. The song I spoofed was "I'll Make You A Man" from Mulan, and I thought altering the song to fit Flapjack's personality.


	27. Videos From Home Part 1

Total Drama Action

Chris:Today we have a very special episode in store for you today. Since the campers need a break from all of the drama and action, we've decided to give a few videos from home to some of the campers who are still left. We've already given them to the campers, but now it's time for us to share them to you! On this very revealing, but not very dramactic episode of Total....Drama....Action!

Videos From Home Segment Part 1

Flapjack:

???:Is it on?

???:How should I know? That weird guy made it.

Bubby:I think we're on. Hi baby! This is just Bubby and K'Nuckles sending you a little somethin somethin. I really proud of the advancments you've made. I just wanted to pinch your cheeks when you brought your rag tag team together, I felt like crying!

K'Nuckles:Yeah. Anyway, I also saw your performance on the Talent Contest Flap and I must say you've got some good talent. Maybe burping isn't your only quality.

Bubby:Well, keep having a good time, and you know Bubby and K'Nuckles still love you. Bye!

Chris:Classic. Cheesy, but classic. Now another video.

Ted and Jenny:

Mrs. Wakeman:Well hello you two. I've been following the show every Thursday night, and I've seen how great you two have been doing, although I can't help but think Ted likes that blonde. I know my own nephew wouldn't fall in love with one of those dumb blonde pin ups that I found under your bed Ted! Of all the years of my studying, I couldn't ever think that my own daughter's cousin had pin ups! It's disgusting! But, anyway, I am still proud of both of you two, especially you XJ-9, because of your obvious leadership. Okay, tat ta.

Chris:Wow, I'd hate to be Lindsay, Ted, and Jenny right now. Anyway, on to more videos.

Edd:

Dear Eddward,

We are sincerly proud of your achievments on TDA. We are hoping that you win that $100,000 prize money so we can afford that new house in Endsville. If we can, we will send another note to you about TDA.

Sincerly,

Mother & Father

Chris:Sticky notes eh? Low tech, low tech. Now one more.

Mr. Blik:

Waffle:Hi Mr. Blik!

Gordon:Hi Blik!

Waffle:We just sent this video to say hi and to tell you I'm sorry about ruining your magic trick. I thought I was heading to Villa Pancho Fransico's house.

Gordon:Waffle, you just spoke the name of a famous killer in the 1900's backwards.....

Waffle:Oh............SPLEEN!!

Chris:Well, that clears up most of our videos from home, we will......

TRANSMITTION INTERUPTED

???:Hello! Can you hear us?!

???:Maybe they're not there.

???:Bologna! Citizens of Earth, you have rejected are stupid, but only competietor on TDA. If you wish to succed in apologizing, please send a plate of cookies and put Zim BACK into the competetion, or else we will be forced to engage a all out invasion on planet Earth. Tallest out!

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AN:You'll be in for a surprise next chapter. Just so I can do it for once, you'll see that next time on Total.....Drama.....ACTION!

COMMENT!


	28. Aliens VS Idiots

Chapter 28

Aliens v.s Idiots

As Ted was sitting in his cabin after Ed was eliminated, Ted thought that possibly Ed was come back because of the fact that two campers had come back later in TDI. Suddenly, Ted felt somewhat better. Suddenly, Chris's voice went over the microphone.

"Attention campers, today you'll all have the day off, but remember, that doesn't mean you don't have a day off on the island, so don't get too comfortable..."

Ted suddenly grew happy, and began reading his book. A few minutes later, Courtney walked into the cabin, and Ted sighed, and then slammed his book shut.

"What is in that book anyway?" Courtney asked herself. Ted held the book shut until she passed out of viewing distance, and then he reopened it.

As Ted read, he felt a strange fuzzy feeling, and as he looked up, he saw a green ray outside the window.

"Courtney, we need to get out...." Ted said bug-eyed.

"But why?" Courtney asked. Ted grabbed Courtney by her hair and threw her out the door.

"Stay out there!" Ted yelled. Ted started firing through the roof with his laser arm. Ted looked around, and then ran outside.

"What is your problem?!" Courtney yelled at Ted. Ted pointed up.

"That's my problem....." Ted croaked.

Above the cabin was a huge space ship. Four giant legs protruded out it's hull.

"Huh....looks like something from War Of the Worlds." Ted said looking at the ship with attentivness. Ted sat there for another minute.

"AHHH!!!!" Ted ran screaming down to the campground.

*Confession*

Courtney: Look, I don't who he is, but what is wrong with Ted? He acts like a big leader, and when he has lasers and weapons, and when a animatronicobviously set down by Chris comes toward him, he runs like a cat from water.

Ted: *Smiling maniacally* I just heard what she said.......

Ted fires his laser behind him and breaks through the confession booth.

Courtney: Ow! TED!!

Ted: Whoops, gotta go!

*Flashback*

Ted then smashed in Mr. Blik and Edd playing chess.

"Hey hey! What do ya think you're doing?" Mr. Blik yelled.

"BIG...SPACESHIP....DESTROY US ALL!!" Ted yelled in Mr. Blik's face, tearing some hair from his face off.

"Dah, that's nothing." Blik assured. The alien spaceship suddenly flattened the chessboard nearby.

"Okay, now I'm scared." Mr. Blik said bug-eyed. Mr. Blik then bolted for the confession room, grabbed Edd by the hat, and ran into the room, and then closed the door.

*Confession*

Mr. Blik: Wow, that was close. I guess I can live like this for the rest of the show........Oh, who am I kidding? Wait, please don't tell me this is the toilet that they didn't flush Billy's doo doo in....

*Flashback*

"What do you suggest we do?" Ted asked Courtney. Courtney laughed sarcastically.

"Oh, I don't know, you're the big genius!" Courtney said sarcastically. Ted thought for a second, and came to a solution.

"I have a suggestion, let's RUN!!" Ted screamed running away from the ship.

"Hey, wait up!" Courtney said chasing after Ted. The spaceship suddenly stopped. Ted and Courtney both turned around to see a tile unfold, and reveal two tall aliens.

"DIE ALIENS!!" Ted yelled throwing a barrel at the figures.

"Hey! Watch what you're doing with those pickle barrels.....In fact, they're real pickle-like." A funny voice replied from one of the aliens.

"Who are you guys?" Ted asked in some sort of word by word talking.

"We happen to be the Tallest, the supreme leaders of the Irken race." The other tall figure explained.

"Oh....so you have nothing to do with Chris?" Ted asked. The Tallest then laughed at Ted's question.

"No, we're well aware of the that serpent named Chris McClain." The Red Tallest replied. Ted looked confused.

"Wait, what does this have to do with John McCain." Ted asked. The Red and Purple Tallest stared at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"I can really see why you and Lindsay like each other. I really can." Courtney said embarrassingly. Ted laughed.

"But, really. What does this have to do with the guy who almost became President?" Ted asked.

"We warned you all last week that if you didn't let our Irken represenative back into Total Drama Action, we'd make you pay." Red tallest said dramatically.

"And here we are! We even brought donuts!" Purple Tallest said happily holding a box of donuts.

"But of course, they're not for you." Red Tallest said evilly. Ted, however, was already running toward the Killer Bass cabin.

As Ted burst into the cabin, he saw something that could've melted any persons' eyes away....

He saw Flapjack wearing **short **shorts.

"Hey Ted, look! I'm wearing short shorts." Flapjack laughed. Ted turned his head and stared at Duncan nearby.

"Yeah, I don't understand him either." Duncan replied to Ted's stare. Ted slowly walked back out of the door and slowly closed it. Then Ted once again burst through the door.

"GUYS! There's a alien race outside that wants to DESTROY US ALL!" Ted screamed. Everyone in the cabin took immeadiate attention when he said this.

"They said that they're from some alien race called the Irkens that want Zim back in TDA because they were rooting for him." Ted explained.

"So that's what he must of been talking to in that computer." Harold realized.

"In that case, I'll knock them back to Pluto if they plan on staying." Jenny said angrily. Jenny blasted through the door and left a puff of blue smoke behind. A few mettalic clangs echoed through the camp, and Jenny came soaring back with a big dent in her head.

"Okay, that didn't work. I'm open to suggestions." Jenny said lying on the ground. Ted thought for a moment, and then stopped.

"I've got nothing...Wait a minute...maybe we can..." Ted was interupted when he heard someone screaming outside. Everyone ran to the door to see Heather running away from a Irken soldier with her hair on fire.

"Okay, I'll admit, that's funny." Ted said laughing. Everyone except Jenny started laughing.

"Okay, so..." Ted began when Izzy suddenly drooped into the room.

"Hey guys what..." Was about all Izzy could say before Ted burst out screaming.

"How did you...forget it. Here's the plan, it involves a whole lot of action, danger and cheorographed dancing." Ted explained. Ted then explained his plan for a whole 10 minutes.

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About an hour later, the Irkens were busy uprooting all the trees, the Tallest were eating their snacks.

"In about an hour, all these trees will be uprooted, and we'll go to destroying the cabins, and then find Mr. McClain." Red Tallest said happily.

Suddenly, Purple Tallest heard an echoe from the woods.

"Hey, I heard something." Purple Tallest said confusingly. Purple threw a donut in the echoe's direction.

"You idiot! Don't feed the animals!" Red Tallest scoalded as he pushed Purple Tallest.

"Maybe I'll go see if we can have dinner and cook a squirrel." Purple Tallest said happily. Purple Tallest then went off to find the echoe.

"Go follow him and make sure he doesn't cause any trouble." Red Tallest ordered ten Irkens. The Irkens saluted, and went to follow Purple Tallest.

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When Purple Tallest reached the woods, he looked around and found a squirrel sitting in broad daylight.

"SQURRIEL!" Purple Tallest yelled happily running toward it. Suddenly, the squrriel fell over as if it was cardboard. Purple Tallest stopped and looked confused.

"Is this some kind of trick?" Purple Tallest asked himself out loud. Purple Tallest turned around and saw his Irken quards were gone. Suddenly, Purple Tallest was trampled by Izzy, who landed on top of him.

"Nice job Izzy! Now, let's tie these little boogers up with Purple Nurple over there and commence Phase 2." Ted said holing the Irken troops with duct tape on their mouths.

"I like adventures Ted." Flapjack whispered happily. Ted smiled.

"Me two Flappy. Especially when you can send idiots packing at the same time." Ted laughed.

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AN: CLIFFHANGER! I know, you want me to continue, but all good things need a two parter! I'll try and update as late as tommorow night....


	29. It's Called The Thriller For A Reason

Chapter 29

It's Called The Thriller For a Reason

"Guh, were is that dimwit?!" Red Tallest yelled. One of the Irkens walked over.

"Sir, it seems that Purple Tallest and the other troops have stopped on the radar!" Of the Irkens yelled showing a radar with eleven blinking lights. Red Tallest grumbled angrily and began walking to the woods, when he heard a rustle from behind him. Red Tallest spun around and saw his troops hiding in trees.

"What's wrong now?!" Red Tallest asked angrily.

"There....." An Irken troop replied pointing downward. Red Tallest looked to see there was a huge puddle of water on the ground.

"Oh come on! My grandma is braver than this! And you call yourself soldiers!" Red Tallest yelled. Suddenly, the Irken ship began to rock back and forth, and then fell over, revealing the campers, and in front Ted with an axe and two of the ship's legs.

"And pretty soon your grandma will be braver than you!" Ted replied. Red Tallest didn't look surprised.

"Humans, you seem so gulible." Red Tallest said laughing. Red Tallest took out remote control, and clicked a button. All of the sudden, his spaceship blew into pieces.

"Oh....wrong button. I must've left my other one at home." Red Tallest admitted.

"Hey Tallest, do you like rock music?" Ted asked. Red Tallest stutterted.

"Uh, I hate music! You shoudl've known that considering you were campmates!" Red Tallest yelled. Suddenly, Ted began commiting to the plan everyone knew to go with.

_We're no starngers to love,_

_you know the rules, and so do I._

_A full comitments what am thinking of,_

_you wouldn't get this from, any other guy._

_I, just want to tell you how I'm feeling._

_Gotta make you, understand._

_Never ganna give you up._

_Never ganna let you down, never ganna run around and, desert you._

_"_Man, I never get tired of that!" Mr. Blik said laughingly.

Red Tallest began to quiver with fear, but then Ted threw the microphone to Flapjack.

"Do your stuff Flappy!" Ted said as he handed the mic.

_We are fam-i-ly._

_I got all my sisters and me._

_We are fam-i-ly._

_Get up everybody, sing!_

GAH! My ears can't take it!" Red Tallest yelled. Flapjack laughed, and Ted took back the mic.

"Alright Tallest, this next number is to permantetly exterminate you!" Ted guranteed. Ted turned around, and suddenly, spun back around and appeared as a zombie. Everyone else had the same appearance, except Edd, who detested the use of makeup and mud.

_It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark._

_Under the moonlight, and see a sight that almost stops your heart._

_You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it._

_You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes,_

_you're paralyzed._

_'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller night._

_And no one's ganna save ya from the beast about to strike._

_You know it's Thriller, Thriller night._

_You're fighting for life inside a, Diller, Chiller, Killer, Thriller, Here tonighttttt!!!!!_

_Because it's THRILLER! Thriller night!_

_So let me hold ya tight inside a, killa, thrilla!_

Suddenly, as Ted was about to go on, Red Tallest grabbed the ten tied up Irken soldiers and Purple Tallest, and jumped into the sea, but then ended up burning himself, so then Red Tallest pressed a button, and a escape pod burst out of the sand, and Red Tallest jumped in.

"You've won this time, but we would've if it hadn't been you meddling teengaers and that stupid robot." Red Tallest cursed. Red Tallest then flew into space.

"Hey guys, we actually did it!" Ted yelled happily. Everyone cheered, and Ted jumped up and down happily.

Suddenly, a large boat pulled over to the Dock Of Shame. Out of it emerged Chris and Chef.

"Wait, where were you?" Gwen asked. Chris laughed.

"We were at the TDA Inn. We had a day off, remember?" Chris asked. Ted looked angrily at Chris.

"So you're telling me that you were relaxing in the lap of lexury while we were fighting off aliens trying to kill you?" Ted asked angrily.

"There were aliens trying to kill me?" Chris asked surprisingly. Ted looked quizzingly at everyone and then turned back.

"Alright, see you tommorow." Ted grumbled angrily.

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AN: There you go, very un-climactic ending eh?


	30. Creator Interview

Chapter 30

Chris: Today on TDA, we're going to have an exclusive interview with the creator of TDA (At least the fan-fic), Brian Sciro a.k.a B.S!

Me:Thanks for the introduction Chris! Now I'll answer my first question.

Chris:Okay, here's our first question,

Q: Can you give us any hints to who is going to be in the final four?

A: Absolutely not. Giving away the final campers would be unfair to people who don't want to know just yet. If you really want to know, ask me to PM the final 4 to you.

Q: Do Ted and Lindsay still like each other? If so, how can they be a corraperative couple?

A: Yes, they're still a couple. The reason why their relationship works is that, Lindsay honestly needs someone to get past her stupidity and know she's still a normal person, and Ted seemed like a perfect fit to be her boyfriend just because he could understand what it felt to be a total klutz. Although I'll admit, Ted is actually a million times smarter than Lindsay.

Q: Is there a chance of any of the other campers already eliminated coming back, and will any campers from the original TDI come back?

A: I'll gurantee that two of the already voted off campers will come back, and in fact, I plan on introducing a new character. As for the second question, I really don't know. Besides the guys (and gals) I picked to come back, I really didn't like many of the characters in TDI. Maybe, but I'd like it if the fans decide if they want that to happen or not.

Chris: Remember that fans!

Q: Why has Izzy only appeared twice in this fic.

A: It's honestly because I can't really get her personality down pat. She has the craziest personality, and Ted may mimic it, but I can't get it totally down. I may just vote her off in a double whammy vote-off. Sorry Izzy fans....

Q: Can you give us a hint on that new character you're introducing?

A: I actually can. His name begins with a B. That's all I'm hinting at. Oh, and he's a character in popular show that everyone says is a ripoff of a show that begins with a "T".

Q: Good hint. Next, are Ted and Ed gay? They seem to be the way they hug each other and hated to leave when Ed got voted off, or are they just the boy version of Sadie & Katie?

A: I'd say it's about 60% of the second choice. They're just good friends, and that's about it.

Q: Okay, last question. Are there anymore chapters with music included?

A: Yes in fact. That's what I love about this fic. I can fit a lot of music into it.

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AN: Remember to vote if you want to bring any of the TDI campers back in or not!


	31. Lucky Dog

Chapter 31

Lucky Dog

One Sunday morning, all of the campers were beginning to awake, when a horn went off in the distance.

"Guh, does Chris really need to wake us up like this?" Ted yelled angrily.

"You'd better get used to it if you want to stay in this game." Gwen assured. Ted thought for a moment,a nd then ran outside.

"HEY McClain..." Ted was about to yell at Chris when he saw a boat in the distance, which looked strangely like the boats that the other campers came on.

"Hm, looks like a boat..." Chris said with a smile walking over. Ted frowned at Chris.

"NO! It's a airplane!" Ted yelled sarcastically. Flapjack then ran outside yelling.

"Oh boy! An airplane........what's an airplane?" Flapjack asked. Ted facepalmed.

"Has the harbor you live on really not have come as far as airplanes?" Ted asked. Flapjack shook his head.

"Great...." Ted mumbled.

As the boat came closer, everyone could see the shape of a person, and then as it grew closer, a shape of an animal.

"Wow, I thought you were an exception...." Chris said to Mr. Blik.

Off the boat walked a white figure with a shaggy appearance.

"What's everybody staring at? Am I too late?" The figure asked.

"We're staring at you." Izzy responded laughing at none other than...

Brian, Brian Griffin.

"TALKING DOG!" Ted yelled running away.

"See what I'm talking about people?" Courtney frowned. Ted then ran back.

"Who are you anyway, and why are you here?" Ted asked Brian. Brian laughed.

"I'm Brian Griffin, you may know me from..." Brian was cut off by Izzy.

"You're from Family Guy...I think..." Izzy questioned herself. Brian looked at Ted as he frowned.

"Yeah, she does that alot. You'll get used to it." Ted responded.

"Anyway, I'm from Family Guy. And I was supposed to be a contestant here, and my flight from Quahog was delayed, and then I got stuck in the motel I was staying at overnight, and then I had to drive all the way over here, and then my boat got stuck in a storm, and my captain got killed. Now here I am." Brian explained. Ted laughed.

"See, that's why I love Family Guy." Ted laughed.

"Well, since I technically am allowed to bring you into the game, your going to go on the team with the least campers, which happens to be the Gophers!" Chris said shoving Brian over to the Gopher cabin.

"Wait hold on, I just went through all that crap to get to this show, and you just shove me onto a team in my first 3 minutes here? What kind of idiot what do something like that?" Brian yelled. Chris shrugged his shoulders.

"A smart one...." Chris responded. Brian sighed and walked over to the cabin, when he noticed Ted and Izzy hovering over him.

"Are you really just going to follow me just because you're Family Guy fans? TV isn't the only thing to do." Brian explained. Ted and Izzy started jumping around Brian.

"You see, everybody who's anybody loves Family Guy, and that's why we like you because we like your attitude and personality." Ted giggled like a girl. Brian slammed the door of the cabin in Ted's face, and he then fell over backwards onto Izzy.

"I love that slam the door in your face attitude." Ted and Izzy both laughed.

"Campers, please report to bonfire for your next challenge!' Chris exclaimed over the loudspeaker.

"OH COME ON!" Brian yelled inside the cabin.

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"What's it ganna be today Chris? Swallow our own vomit and then throw it back out again?" Ted asked jokingly. All of the Gophers started laughing at this.

"No, but I won't consider it. Anyway, today's challenge will be based off the horror movie genre. Has anybody here seen the movie Ghostbusters?" Chris asked. Ted's hand shot right up into the air.

"I love that movie! I've seen it 70 times!" Ted exclaimed.

"Good, because you'll need to quote on quote, "catch" a ghost." Chris laughed.

"So, we're going to be catching cardboard ghosts with vaccum cleaners?" Ted asked.

"You know, you're really not funny at all." Brian muttered. Ted smiled and perked his eyebrows and pointed at Brian.

"No, but you will be required of this. Everywhere around the camp, we've placed sheets that look like ghosts. Under the rags, there are numbers that translate to locations around the camp. You must go to this location, and there will be a computer generated ghost, there we've supplied a technical "proton pack" designed as a replica from the orginal movie, except we've personally modified it to technologicaly catch these holographs that the producers supplied us with. Whoever "caught" the most "ghosts" wins the challenge for his or her's team, and that team will spend the night at the TDA Inn. You dig?" Chris explained. Ted became giddy.

"So that's were all of the budget went..." Courtney muttered.

"This is ganna be the best challenge yet!" Ted yelled.

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"Okay, so we're going to split us up into teams." Ted began explaining. As Ted started to name teams, Brian took out his bottle of liquor and began drinking. Ted then took notice and took it away.

"See, this is why we're losing. We never pay attention when I talk." Ted scoalded.

"Well maybe it's because we sit here listening to you flap, flap, flap your gums, and we sometimes fall asleep just from hearing you talk about strategy." Heather remarked. Ted laughed.

"Speak for yourself Wig Woman." Ted talked back. Ted and Heather started arguing, and while they did, Brian snatched his liquor from Ted's hands.

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About an hour later, all of the campers were searching for the rag doll ghosts. The first to find one, happened to be Ted's group, which contained himself, Izzy, and Brian.

"I found the ghost thing. Now let me see this number..." Ted said looking under the rag.

"5......That's Chef's kitchen." Ted translated looking at the number translation sheet Chris supplied.

"I bet they just pulled that cheap ghost world in the refrigerator like they did in Ghostbusters." Brian guessed.

"Or maybe that weird library scene at the beginning of the movie....wait, that was in a library right?" Izzy quizzed herself walking away. Ted looked at Brian, and Brian looked back.

"Oh, see now I get what you meant." Brian replied. Ted laughed.

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AN: Yep, Brian is a camper now!!


	32. The Real Crazy Ghostbusters

Chapter 32

The Real Crazy Ghostbusters

"Alright I'm turning this thing on." Ted announced holding a proton pack replication in his hands. As Ted flipped the switch, the proton pack made a sucking sound, as if it was a vaccum cleaner. Brian then started barking and ran into Chef's kitchen closet.

"That cheapsteak! It was a vaccum cleaner!" Ted yelled angrily. Ted then found a cassete tape on the side of the proton pack. Ted picked it up, inserted it into his built-in cassete player and heard Chris's voice.

"If you've already turned the "proton pack" on, you probably realize that this is a vaccum cleaner. The producer decided to waste the money that was promised on this..." Chris's voice laughed. Suddenly, a holographic ghost was in front of Ted, and then spit green slime then splashed everywhere in the room. Ted became so angry that he stomped the vaccum cleaner into little pieces. Suddenly, Brian burst out of the closet with a cardboard box.

"Here, I found a cardboard box!" Brian declared throwing it to Ted. Ted then hatched an idea. The hologram then floated away somewhere else.

"Izzy you attract the hologram's attention! Brian, you go get a plastic bug, cut the handles, and place it on the ground!" Ted commanded.

"What are you going to do?" izzy asked. Ted broke a smile.

"You'll see..." Ted smirked.

Brian ran into a pantry to find a plastic bag, while Izzy started throwing different utensils at the ghost. Ted ran out of the kitchen to find something else.

"Any luck finding a plastic bag?" Izzy asked as she ran from the hologram spitting slime.

"No. All I keep finding are Good Burger DVDs!" Brian yelled.

*Confession*

Chef:.....What? I like Good Burger...

*Cut back.*

Finally, Brian found a plastic bag under the refrigerator. As Brian ran back, Ted burst through the door with duct tape, and a seemingly realistic looking Proton Pack.

"You took the real Proton Pack?!" Brian asked. Ted laughed.

"Of course I did, no hand me the vaccum cleaner nozel!" Ted commanded. Brian threw it over, and Ted then screwed the vaccum nozzel on. Ted then activated suction, and the ghost suddenly started to pull in. Suddenly, without warning, Izzy jumped on the ghost with the box Brian had found.

"Okay, that wasn't very helpful, but we caught it anyway." Ted admitted. Suddenly Chris walked.

"And it looks like our first catch is for the Gophers!" Chris declared. Ted cheered and high-fived Brian.

"Now go back to your cabin and hope that your teammates can do the same." Chris told. Ted walked back smiling with hope knowing that his whole team seemed like a wizz for this challenge. The rest of the team contained a know-it-all, a goth, a half-wit (Which happened to be his girlfriend), and a loud-mouth. Ted knew this seemed like a perfect challenge that they could win.

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Meanwhile, one of the Killer Bass's group, which contained of Edd and Harold, seemed to be struggling a bit at the boat house.

"A vaccum cleaner! How am I supposed to catch a hologram ghost with a vaccum cleaner?!" Edd asked angrily. Edd began pondering what he was supposed to do.

"How about you aim a magnifying glass at the window, maybe it'll kill it. I've seen movies where ghosts hate light." Harold wondered. Edd suddenly realized this wasn't such a bad idea.

"That's actually very knowledgable Harold. Good job." Edd congratulated. Edd pulled out his trusy magnifying glass and handed it to Harold. Harold then aimed the scientific instrument at the window flooding out beams of light, when suddenly, the light from the magnifying glass bounced of a mirror on the wall, which then struck the machine projecting the ghost. Edd tried pulling the magnifying glass away, but as soon as he did, the machine blew apart, and sent Edd and Harold flying through the air, and then splashed into the lake.

"Well, this is just perfect..." Edd muttered.

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About an hour later, Chris started talking through a microphone.

"Attention campers! The winner of the Ghostbusting challenge is......the Screaming gophers by a team score of 2-1!" Chris announced in front of all the campers in the campground.

Everyone on the Gophers started cheering and jumping up and down, except Brian, who just muttered "Hoorah" a few times. Ted and Courtney for a strange reason hugged, but then backed off and exchanged disgusted looks.

"I'm going to pretend that just didn't happen..." Ted said embarrassingly.

"I agree. Besides, you already have a Girlfriend..." Courtney agreed. Ted frowned and then grumbled.

"Bass, I'll see you at the bonfire. You'll be voting someone of TDA tonight." Chris announced. Edd and Harold looked at each other, hoping no one kenw what happened.

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"Alright, the first marshmallows go to, Jenny, Mr. Blik, Duncan, and Flapjack." Chris announced. Edd and and Harold knew that everyone must've noticed what happened at the boat house.

"Double D, Harold, this is the final marshmallow of the night. Whoever doesn't get it does not get to go any further in this competition." Chris declared. Edd looked at the marshmallow like it was his Guardian Angel, as did Harold.

"The final marshmallow of the night goes to...." Chris started.

Chris got ready, and threw it to Harold....

....but then Chef grabbed it and tossed it to Edd.

"...Double D." Chris finished.

Edd looked confused.

"Well, as you would say, I didn't see that one coming..." Edd admitted with a nervous smile.

"Harold.....you know what to do..." Chris smiled. As Harold left, Jenny walked over to Edd.

"You do realize you're lucky, right?" Jenny asked. Edd looked surprised.

"No. Why?" Edd responded. Jenny laughed.

"We only voted him off because you have the biggest brains of this team. If you're brain wasn't so oversized we would've knocked you off instead." Jenny admitted. Edd frowned and walked off.

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Later that night, Ted was walking to the yacht that was to bring his team to the TDA Inn, when he noticed Brian was talking to Mr. Blik.

"What do ya mean we've never been mentioned on Family Guy?" Mr. Blik asked.

"You haven't. It's probably because you're show had one of the weakest fanbases ever." Brian told Mr. Blik held up his fingers and started counting.

"We lasted for.....3 years and you don't refrence us?!" Mr. Blik yelled.

"Yeah, 3 years and one season." Brian laughed. Ted walked over with fear in his eyes.

"NO!! This can't be! Dogs and cats living together?! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD?! Whats next? Fire and brimstone raining from the sky? 40 years of darkness?! IT'S MASS HYSTERIA!!!" Ted yelled running away.

"In case you younger viewers don't realize it, he just either refrenced or horribly ripped-off a quote from Ghostbusters......Just telling ya..." Brian explained. Mr. Blik looked confused.

"Who are you talking to?" Mr. Blik asked Brian. Brian then smacked himself in the face.

"This is going to be a longgg couple weeks...." Brian muttered. Mr. Blik still looked confused looking at the camera.

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AN: Lol, hope you enjoyed that...

Also, don't look for updates this week, because I'm going to Williamsburg until this Sunday starting thsi Wednsday. Next Monday though I'll start writing again. However, in the future (Until September 15th) you're going to see me update this alot because my school got out...

Also, if you don't get the chapter title, it's a play on the cartoon Ghostbusters series _The Real Ghostbusters. _The title just adds "Crazy" to mean "Really crazy", hence the name, The Real Crazy Ghostbusters. Get it?

This is turning into a waste of text, so everyone have a nice next couple days, and Happy 4th Of July!


	33. Oh Captain, Our Stupid Captain

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action!

The campers were introduced to the twenty first member of TDA, Brian Griffin. Right after this, the campers were to complete a challenge based off Ghostbusters. It was close, but in the end the Gophers prevailed after Ted, Izzy and Brian were able to put the Gophers back on the winning foot. Meanwhile, Edd and Harold ended up blowing the boat house apart, and failing the challenge. Obviously it came down to Harold and Double D, but in the end it was Harold that would be the next to walk The Dock Of Shame.

The only question that remains is, who is going to give funds to Double D to rebuild the boat house, and who is ready for another action packed episode of Total....Drama....ACTION!

Chapter 33

Oh Captain, Our Stupid Captain

A week later, Ted and the Gophers had just come back from the TDA Inn.

"So, I guess all but one of us enjoyed those few couple nights." Ted admitted looking over a Brian, who looked frusturated.

"God, you know, how is wine not served there? I thought that this was a reality show. That would be like if you win a challenge in Survivor you'd win a night at the Holiday Inn. You do something to win it and you get nothing but cheap rooms." Brian compared. Ted laughed.

"Well Brian, keep in mind they have nothing relating to robots there either. Besides, why would they serve wine when everyone except me and Jenny are teenagers...and there's also you if you count dogs years. How old are you?" Ted asked.

"Eight..." Brian answered.

"Then that would mean your......56 in dogs years." Ted responded.

"Wow, he's real old." Lindsay responded sounding surprised. Brian frowned.

"That's not my real age. That's only how old I am in dog years..." Brian growled. Lindsay then had a confused look on her face.

"What are dog years?" Lindsay asked. Brian then had a blank face.

"You know, you remind me alot of Paris Hilton. Famous, beatiful, but stupid as a rock." Brian responded blankly.

"Paris who?" Lindsay asked again. Brian sighed.

"Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?" Brian mumbled. Ted growled angrily.

"Hey, stop talking like that about my girlfriend!" Ted growled. Everyone, except Lindsay, who still wasn't paying attention gasped, but some let out a small giggle. Brian laughed.

"Boy, I can't imagine what your kids will look like. You'll probably give birth to a stick and a rock." Brian joked. Ted suddenly grabbed Brian by the collar and put him face to face.

"Listen here flea bag, I don't need to take this from a dog! I've got other things to worry about besides a talking dog making in front of my love life. Now stop talking, and we'll get along just fine. Okay?!" Ted yelled.

"Fine, but when..." Brian was cut off by Ted, who screwed his mouth shut with his finger. Brian walked away, as everyone else did except for Ted who was still angry, and Courtney.

"You know, you don't have to get that extreme over liking somebody." Courtney started. Ted glared at Courtney.

"Well you wouldn't know better. You're the one that likes Duncan." Ted laughed.

"I don't like him." Courtney said back with a shocked look on her face. Ted laughed.

"Oh please, I watched Total Drama Island. You became his second-hand man....or woman...whatever. And you two shared a smooch..' Ted joked starting to make kissing sounds. Courtney walked away, and Ted kept laughing. All of the sudden, Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker.

"Attention campers, please report to the bonfire immeadetly. We've got a surprise for you!" Chris exclaimed. Ted raised a confused eyebrow.

"I just bet it's throwing up vomit and swallowing it." Ted guranteed.

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As all of the campers walked over, Chris was ready to speak.

"Hello campers, and welcome to another week on Total Drama Action. Last week the Gopher took home the gold, and the week at the TDA Inn." Chris proclaimed. Jenny grumbled.

"You can stop rubbing salt in the wound Chris. Just tell us what's so important." Jenny demanded.

"Alright, alright! Jeez, no wonder Ted doesn't like you." Chris said. Ted laughed.

"The first order of business, is right out in the open in Lake Wawanakwa." Chris said pointing over to the area of The Dock Of Shame. Everyone peered out, and could see a small dot coming closer and closer. As it grew bigger, everyone could a person on it waving. Ted suddenly felt something about the boat. Ted ran over to The Dock Of Shame and could finally see it was...

"LADIES MAN!" The figure revealed itself to be Ed waving.

"ED!" Ted exclaimed happily. Ed jumped off the boat and right into Ted's crushing grip.

"I though I wouldn't see you again!" Ted yelled happily. Brian laughed.

"Looks like Lindsay's got some competition." Brian joked.

"Do us all a favor and just shut up about those two." Gwen requested. Brian shrugged his shoulders.

"As everyone can already see, Ed has returned to TDA after popular demand." Chris explained. As Ted walked back with Ed still ruffling his hair, everyone could see a figure moving around inside the boat.

"Also back by popular fan demand..." Chris started. Everyone on the Bass gasped.

"Oh no...." Jenny muttered. All of the sudden, the last thing anyone wanted to see popped out of the boat.

"I AM ZIM!!" Zim proclaimed.

"Zim1 We got letters requesting he come back in from so many different countries it overwelmed us. Luckily he was still avaible....lucky for the Gophers at least..." Chris admitted while laughing.

"Well, we're doomed." Jenny muttered.

"Second order of business, your challenge for the day. Today's challenge will involve dynamite. What you will is you'll need to find the correct levers in order to blow the dynamite in the Wawanakwa Cave to create a path to the other side." Chris began.

"Is it me, or is everything here go by the name of Wawanakwa?" Gwen asked.

"See, I thought I was the only one that noticed that." Ted admitted.

"..Anyway, you will then drive through the rest of the cave in mine tunnelers we built, but be careful, if you pull the wrong order of levers, a mine under the ground near Wawanakwa Cave will blow up. When they do, any of your campers are in danger of getting injured." Chris said, making the challenge sound lethal. Everyone gasped, and then Chris laughed.

"I'm kidding, but there are mines, and there are some under the lever stands, and if all your mines in your area run out, then your lever stands will start blowing up, and you will lose the challenge, which means you'll be coming here at the bonfire tonight and sen done of your campers home." Chris finished.

"Sounds dangerous.....I'll take it!" Ted exclaimed. Chris then stopped him.

"I can handle that. I have a photographic memory, literally." Jenny assured. Chris then stopped her.

"Wait, there's a catch..." Chris said sounding pleased, "Your team will have to do this challenge, WITHOUT your captains, which happen to be Ted and Jenny, which means they'll have to spend a night in the woods, together.....Added to that, the team captain must appoint a temporary captain until they come back." Chris explained. Ted and Jenny eyed each other with bug eyes. Both of them walked back to their respective groups to choose temporary captains.

"Alright, I'm going to choose Ed as our temporary captain." Ted declared immeadetly.

"WHAT?!" Everyone asked angrily.

"He's our temporary captain. Okay?" Ted asked.

"Oh come on. You only chose him because he's your best friend. I'm the only person with CIT expierence here." Courtney argued using her same normal excuse.

"Do I look like I care? I don't even know what a CIT is!" Ted yelled.

"Ed's the captain and that's final!!" Ted exclaimed. Ted walked away. Courtney watched as Ted walked out of sight.

"What a dim-wit." Courtney said frustrated.

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AN: This is probably my last update unless I can squeeze another in tonight.

If I can't,

HAPPY FOURTH O' JULY!!


	34. Wrecking Crew

Chapter 34

Wrecking Crew

After this argument between Courtney and Ted, Jenny had already chosen the captain as Edd, as he was the most intelligent.

"Alright campers, report to Wawanakwa Cave and begin your challenge!" Chris exclaimed. Ed burst out as soon as he said this, leaving the rest of the Gophers trotting behind him, and Brian even resorted to running on four legs.

*Confession*

Brian: You know, I hate to beat a dead horse, but how can Ted and Lindsay like each other? I mean, come on, Ted's a leader and Lindsay's.........a rock....

*Cut back.*

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As soon as Ed reached the five levers, he was about to pounce on the first lever, when he suddenly stopped in mid-air and decided to consider his options.

"Maybe Courtney could help out...or maybe Double D? Or maybe Sheldon Jr?" Ed asked himself, pulling out his lucky cheese. The rest of the Gophers, and the Bass then reached the site about 2 minutes later.

"Maybe I'll just consult Sheldon Jr. about this." Ed concluded. Ed was walking over to one of the levers, when all of the sudden, the slippery exterior of the 5 year cheese caused it to slip from his fingertips, which then caused a domino effect, as then Ed tripped on the cheese, rocketing it straight behind where he stood, right into the open mouth of Heather. Ed laughed at what he could see, and then he fell onto the second lever, and the first layer of the cave blew apart. Ed jumped back up and started cheering.

"HUZZAH! Sheldon Jr. is the victor!" Ed yelled happily. Behind him, Heather began throwing up from the overall awful taste of the 5 year old cheese. Ed suddenly took notice of the vomiting sounds, and Ed ran over to get his cheese back, and as he headed for Heather's......rear end, when Brian grabbed Ed by the collar of his jacket.

"Woah, woah, woah big fella! Don't be heading towards that angle of a woman until you're older!" Brian said stopping Ed in his tracks. Ed looked into space for a moment, and then thought of another solution. Ed suddenly, without warning, jammed his hand into Heather's mouth. As Ed sank his hand through Heather's throat, Heather started gagging and throwing up some more, and by the time Ed pulled Sheldon Jr. out of Heather's throat, Ed's face and some of his clothing were covered in vomit.

*Confessional*

Courtney: I have no comment....

Ed: What? I couldn't have let Ted's worst enemy swallow Sheldon Jr. He'd come out in her poo....

Heather: For all of you that saw that, NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN!

*Cutback*

"So, shall we continue?" Ed asked. Everyone seemed puzzled by Ed and his happy attitude, even after being thrown up on. Ed walked back to the levers and put his pondering face on. Everyone else shrugged and followed his lead. Because, of course, he was the captain.

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Meanwhile, on the Killer Bass side, Edd was busy observing how the levers were marked.

"If my calculations are correct, these markings signfy which levers go in what order. They seem to be Roman Numeral markings. Maybe that could say what order it's in?" Edd asked himself aloud. Everyone sat there waiting for him.

"In English please." Duncan requested. Edd frowned, and was reminded of Eddy,a nd then continued talking again.

"In general, the symbols on the levers show which go in which order. You know, you remind me alot of one of my friends back at the Cul-De-Sac." Edd stated. Zim then knocked Edd to the ground.

"Get out of the way Earth stink! I can read the Ramone launguage that you speak, FOR I AM ZIM!" Zim exclaimed. Edd got up to see Zim randomly playing Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe to choose the lever. Suddenly, without warning, Zim jumped onto the first lever, and suddenly, Edd blew into the air, and his hat flew another way. Zim watched Edd hit the ground rump down.

"Zim, please leave the levers to me." Edd muttered placing his hat back on his head.

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Meanwhile, Ted and Jenny were both sitting behind seperate trees, trying to ignore each other.

"I don't see why we can't be friends. It's pretty simple actually." Jenny began explaining. Ted sighed.

"Look, we can't be friends. Numero uno, Lindsay is my BFF.." Ted started. Jenny laughed.

"Wh do you think you are? A girl?" Jenny asked. Ted expressed a puzzled look, and then rethunk.

"Alright, I'm her best friend....I'm friends with Ed, my whole team likes me..I think..." Ted thought.

"Hey, in case you haven't noticed, Lindsay doesn't even know what your name is." Jenny laughed. Ted smirked.

"That's because she still digs that Tyler kid. He's long gone because your stupid little wind-up toy friend didn't like him." Ted laughed. Jenny then smashed Ted on the head, and then he fell to the ground.

"Thanks hammer happy!" Ted said sarcastically. Jenny then grabbed Ted by the leg and threw him into a tree.

"Okay, now it's on!" Ted declared. Ted then burst out of the tree and pushed Jenny into a river.

"Let's see you come back out here!" Ted egged Jenny.

"Man, I love this show...." Ted said happily.

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With the Gophers, Ed contiued guessing to hit which lever next.

"Okay, who wants to hit the next lever?" Ed asked. As Ed walked away, he looked back to see Izzy literally slamming the first lever, and out of nowhere, a mine under Ed blew up, sending him flying out of his cloths, and then fell back into his clothes. Ed laughed, ignoring the fact they got the wrong lever, and walked over to Izzy.

"I like you. You got spunk, and according to Ted, spunk is the best part about a lady." Ed laughed admittingly. All this gained for Ed was a punch to the face.

"Thanks, but whoever this Ted guy is, his theories don't apply." Izzy responded. Ed got up and laughed with a big bruise in his face.

"She digs me.....Cool." Ed laughed. Ed then layed his hand on yet anothr lever, and another layer of the the cave blew away.

*Confessional*

Ed: Honestly, Izzy is crazy, in a good way. If I can get her to dig me, maybe we'll have a...dare i say, relationship? Ha ha!

*Cutback*

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On the Killer Bass, Edd had already gotten the first two levers.

"Now, if I can just read this numeral...." Edd stopped. Edd noticed the fifth lever had a roman numeral one, and then a roman numeral two next to it.

"Oh please!" Edd yelled angrily. Zim looked at the levers, and then decided on pulling the fifth lever.

"This is my first step in world domination!" Zim exclaimed. Zim pushed on the lever, and the third layer blew away. Only Flapjack clapped, while everyone on the Bass cheered. Zim then started blabbering again, while Edd pondered again.

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As the Killer Bass cheered, Ed observed the lever that was pushed.

"It's the fifth one next! I've got the eyes of an eagle! Like Zorba's great uncle from the Death Of Zorba in 3-D!" Ed said trying to attract Izzy. Unfortunetly, Ed sounded like...well.....a complete dork...

Ed then looked at the rest of the levers. Seeing as there were two left, Ed had a great idea. Maybe if he could get Izzy to agree to push both at the same time, he could get the first phase done, and then could get closer to Izzy's affection. Suddenly, Ed's mind went blank.

"Whoops....yep, there it goes.......my brain stopped." Ed stated. Once again, everyone stared at Ed like a moron, except Lindsay, who seemed more interested.

"That sometimes happens to me." Lindsay added. Ed looked at Lindsay confused, and then realized he shouldn't talk to Ted's girlfriend.

*Confessional*

Ed: If Ted finds out I'm hitting on his girlfriend, he's going to gorge out my eyeballs. Believe me, he said so.

*Cutback*

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As Ted sat in the woods waiting for the challenge to end, he pulled out his book once again. Suddenly, Ted looked up to see a rusted Jenny dripping onto his book.

"Hey Drippy. Have fun bathing?" Ted asked. Jenny angrily grabbed the book, then chucked it into the river. Ted glared at Jenny, and then pounced on her and they rolled into the deeper parts of the woods.

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Finally, Ed and Edd finally finished the first phase.

"Alright campers, report to your own mining machines and drive through your holes you created from the explosives you used!" Chris announced. Ed ran over to the machine and started it up.

"Ha, I feel like Indiana Jones." Ed laughed.

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AN: Man, you readers have NO CLUE how muchI enjoyed writing this chapter. I feel 150% energized!

Comment, and you'll get more chapters!!


	35. The Last Adventure

Chapter 35

The Last Adventure

As soon as both teams were ready, the two captains who both had the names of Ed, started to drive through the tunnel.

As Ed drove through, he noticed the two tunnels joined into one.

"Ha ha. It's like a racing movie. THIS REALLY IS TOTAL DRAMA ACTION!" Ed yelled happily. Ed then noticed that the other driller was getting closer. Ed decided that he might as well get them off his butt.

"Bye guys. I have to make the man slip on the banana." Ed said seriously. Everyone looked at him confused as he climbed out to the roof of the driller. As Ed got out, he pulled the hairdryer grappling hook from _In Like Ed._ Ed launched the hook, and flew across the zipline. Unfortunetly, he slammed into the side of the driller.

"Hi Fishies!" Ed greeted happily. Everyone on the Bass watched him climb onto the roof.

"Flapjack, please go up and send Ed back to _his _driller." Edd requested. Flapjack happily got up and opened the hatch.

"Adventure!" Flapjack happily cheered. As soon as Flapjack got up, he moved out of the way just in time to miss a antique sword. Flapjack looked to see Ed holding a antique sword. Flapjack pulled out his own sword.

"Captain K'Nuckles gave me this!" Flapjack said giggling. Flapjack swung, and knocked Ed onto the grappling hook line. Ed looked down scardily at the fast moving ground. Ed backed over to his driller's roof, and suddenly, the two drillers jerked to each other and pushed Ed and Flapjack into each other. Ed and Flapjack then began clashing swords. Everytime it seemed like one would win, they'd clash again. Unknowingly, the two began to fight just on the grappling hook line.

"Hey Flapjack! Want adventure?" Ed asked. Flapjack laughed.

"Adventure!" Flapjack cheered. Ed looked ahead to see the end of the tunnel. Ed suddenly had an idea.

"Okay then. Bye!" Ed farewelled. Ed suddenly cut the gappling line, causing Flapjack to land back on his driller. Then, to add insult to injury, Ed threw the antique sword into the Bass's driller's tires, slowing it down extensively. Ed then swung back to the windshield of the Gophers driller.

"Hey guys! Miss me?!" Ed asked happily. Everyne cheered, except obviously the Bass, who had slowed down and basically ran out of steam. Ed jumped back into the Gophers driller, and began piloting it again.

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Meanwhile, right above the cave, Ted and Jenny came tumbling down the crest of the cave, and both slammed through the roofs of their team's drillers.

"Hi Lucy, I'm home!" Ted greeted. Right as he burst through, Ed crossed the finish line of the race.

"And, the Gophers win!" Chris announced. Edd ran over to see what happened, and Flapjack slowly trailed behind, as he was down because of their defeat.

"Gophers, you win invincibility for this week, while the Killer Bass.....I'll see you too-night!" Chris announced. Ted grabbed Ed and started hugging him as he told his story of how they won.

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Later that night, the Bass arrived at the bonfire for the second time in a row.

"Hello Killer Bass. Tonight, as you can see, there are only five marshmallows here tonight. There are six of you. Five of you will barely move on, while one of you will leave on the Boat Of Losers, and never came back....ever...." Chris repeated.

"The first marshmallows go to Jenny, Duncan, Mr. Blik, and Zim." Chris announced. All four walked up with downed faces. Edd looked confused, as he still wasn't called yet.

"Me? But, what did I do?" Edd whispered to himself.

"Double D, Flapjack. This is the final marshmallow of the night. One of the you will stay here for another week....and the other will be a looserrrr." Chris said dramatically. Edd began remembering that he was the captain and should've ignored Ed. Edd began thinking he was to be eliminated.

Then there was Flapjack, who was busy sweating in anticapation.

"The final marshmallow goes to......" Chris began. Flapjack suddenly threw his hat off.

"Just get it ovr with!" Flapjack yelled impatiently. Chris handed a marshmallow over to Flapjack as Edd sat in shock. As Flapjak laughed, he trid to take a bite of his marshmallow when he felt his teeth shatter. Flapjack felt pain.

"That was just a decoy dude! It's a new prank our producers made called "The Marshmallow of Failure". Cool eh? The _real_ marshmallow goes to......Double D!" Chris exclaimed. Flapjack sat in shock, as did Edd, who couldn't believe his luck. Edd took his marshmallow with his mouth wide open.

"Flappy, that means you...are...OUTTA HERE!" Chris exclaimed. Chef came over and pushed Flapjack onto...

a squishy and blubbery feeling object.

It turned out to be Bubby, who had come to take Flapjack.

"Hi Bubby!" Flapjack said happily.

"Oh hey sugar! You wouldn't think I would let you ride home on that disgusting thing did you?" Bubby asked. Flapjack shook his head.

"Well, let's get you home. I don't want to keep K'Nuckles waiting for you." Bubby rushed. Captain K'Nuckles then popped out of Bubby's mouth.

"Hey Flappy! Get in here, we got a party going on!" K'Nuckles said happily. Flapjack cheered and jumped into Bubby's mouth.

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Later that night, Ted was walking into the cabin, when he noticed Brian sitting in a chair.

"Hey dog, here's something I just reliezed something, your girlfriend is a blonde. So you've got your own _rock girlfriend_. So next time you decide to insult my girl, just remember that you have a moron for a girlfriend asshole." Ted cursed calmly. Brian sat for a moment, and then walked outside.

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A few minutes later, Ted found Lindsay sitting doing nothing in particular.

"Hey Lindsay, you don't believe all that stuff Brian said right?" Ted asked.

"Of course not. I know myself Tyler." Lindsay responded. Ted felt satisfied, when he realized that she called him Tyler.

"Um, Lindsay, I'm Ted." Ted said blankly. Lindsay then looked puzzled.

"In that case, where's Tyler?" Lindsay asked. Ted frowned.

"He was eliminated weeks ago. Besides, you don't need him anymore when you got Ted." Ted assured happily. Lindsay still looked confused as Ted sighed happily.

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AN: I honestly ran out of ideas here. I just made some random additions to make this semi-funny.

If you didn't like this, THEN GET READY FOR AN AWESOME CHAPTER NEXT UPDATE!


	36. Scaredy Cats

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

Two of the originally eliminated campers Zim and Ed came back for another crack at winning this competition. The teams were then assigned to complete a cave blasting challenge. Only problem, they'd have to do it without their captains. Although a tough challenge, it was Ed who came up victorious with his Screaming Gophers. In the end, it was Flapjack who was the next to walk the Dock Of Shame. Now the only question left before we start the show is, who will walk the same walk that Flapjack did last week? Find out on Total....Drama....ACTION!

Chapter 36

Scaredy Cat(s)

Ed's eyes opened. He was standing in a dark landscape with nothing sight. Ed ran forward until he became tired, and noticed he wasn't going anywhere. Ed glanced around, and then saw a blinking light ahead. Ed ran toward it, and heard yelling. Suddenly, a devilish face appeared in front of him, and Ed blinked his eyes and awoke from his nightmare. Ed suddenly noticed he was sitting on the ground sucking on Izzy's ear. Ted was standing next to Ed with a scared look on his face.

"Don't....move...." Ted whispered. Ed stopped slurping and started sweating. Ted slowly grabbed Ed, and slowly worked to get him off. Slowly but surely, Ed's lips slipped right off without a sound. Ed then wiped his brow, and walked over to Ted.

"Thanks Ted. Making Izzy go all pscyho-freako would've made my armpits sweat." Ed admitted. Ted smiled, and then gasped.

"What are you guys talking about?" Izzy asked surprising Ed so much that his eyebrow catapulted off his head.

"NOTHING! Nothing at all....." Ed responded. Ed started sweating.

"Good. I don't know if you noticed, but you were talking to yourself in your sleep last night. Well obviously your couldn't hear yourself, because you're asleep. I can hear myself in my sleep. It's like sleeping with your eyes open, only with ears." Izzy stated. Ted was amazed how one person could talk so much and not get tired of it. Ed was still sweating, and as soon as Izzy left, Ed fell to the ground.

"Boy, who knew girls were so hard to get." Ed claimed. Ted grinned.

"Don't worry about it Ed. Shakespeare didn't write Romeo & Juliet in a day." Ted whispered.

Ed felt better when Ted said this. Ted then walked out, and noticed that Chris wasn't anywhere to yell at him or the other campers.

"Hm, it's a little too quiet...." Ted muttered.

*Confessional*

Ted: With Chris waking us up every morning and torturing us, it was kinda weird not to be annoyed by Chris.

*Cutback*

As soon as Ted walked over to the Bonfire, he found a note.

"Dear Campers,

Sorry for the inconvience, but I'm off to collect my award for "Best TV Reality Show Host", so I left you guys with a pre-made challenge, and oh yeah, Chef's in charge. If you really need to know what the challenge is, look up and you'll know.

From your host, Chris McLean"

Ted glared at the note and groaned angrily.

"Man I hate this guy." Ted admitted. Ted looked up to come face to face with a huge green monster. Ted stood there in shock trying to say something.

"Uh.....hi." Ted said with a nervous grin. The moster sniffed Ted for a minute, and....

"ROARRRRR!!!!" The monster roared angrily.

"COOL!" Ed yelled happily, and then ran away. Everyone else ran except Ted, who laughed hysterically.

"Boy, I'm scared....but I'm too afraid....to move...." Ted muttered. Ted took a huge step, and then broke into a run, and then slammed into the confessional.

*Confessional*

Ted: Phew, thankfully I'm safe in here, with COURTNEY?!

Courtney: What are you freaking out about? Besides, aren't you the one that said you're a big hero back in your town?

Ted: No, that's my twit cousin Jenny. You'd know that if you weren't so stupid.

"Courtney: Oh, so _you're_ the one calling me stupid. You won't even try and fight a giant animatronic monster.

Ted: Well my cousin Jenny also ran away, and she actually cares about the human race, while my only friend on this planet is Ed and Lindsay!

*Suddenly Lindsay and Ed popped up in the confessional.*

Lindsay: What?

Ed: Hiya guys!

Courtney: Great, now I have to sit in here with 2 idiots and a dim-wit.

Lindsay: Ha, she called you guys a dim-wit......Wait.....

Ted: Ahem, you mean 2 geniuses, a beatiful blond with a few unscrewed bolts, and a absolute moron who acts like a hypocrite.

Courtney: Oh just shut up you twit!

Ed: I like monsters!

*Ed starts rolling around on the floor laughing.*

Ted: Ed, stop having a seizure. Lindsay, don't say anything, and Courtney, STOP ACTING LIKE A MORON!

*Cutback.*

"So, what do you suppose we do about this giant Godzilla wanna-be?" Jenny asked the Bass.

"I say we disect his BRAINS!" Zim proclaimed. Jenny frowned.

"Any ideas NOT involving brains?" Jenny asked.

"Why don't you get off you metal bum and go out and fight the thing?" Duncan asked. Jenny rolled her eyes.

"No, because we're supposed to complete this thing as a team." Jenny argued.

"Man, this teams got real disfunctional since Flapjack left." Mr. Blik grinned. Edd sighed.

"I would agree with that statement." Edd admitted.

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A few minutes later, the campers all gathered at the ampitheater.

"Okay, I have a good idea. It may sound stupid, but it is good!" Ted exclaimed.

"Sure genius, let's see your good idea." Duncan ridiculed. Ted looked angrily at Duncan, and then jammed his hand into Edd's hat.

"Now if I can just find....AHA!" Ted yelled with triumph. Ted then pulled out a _very _familiar looking costume.

"Oh! I know what that is!" Ed exclaimed with a girly shriek. Ted smiled and smacked the costume on Ed's body.

"Now Ed, promise to be a good monster and destroy the other monster. Okay?" Ted asked kindly.

"If buttered-toast is involved, then I'M YOUR ED!" Ed yelled happily. Ted petted Ed, dunked the mask on his head, and suddenly, Ed's eyes became red, and started growing larger.

"YES! My fellow campers, meet EDZILLA!" Ted laughed maniaclly as the giant beast of an Ed slunk off to fight the animatronic monster.

"You realize how many lawsuits this show is going to get from Toho because you ripped off the design of Godzilla right?" Brian asked. Ted glared at Brian, and then gave a motion to "Shut up".

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"Akira, I was just busy watching Total Drama Action, and they ripped the design of our creation off!" A frantic Japanese worker spoke.

"Shall I call our lawyer to sue them?" The Japanese worker asked. Akira Kurosawa, the head of Toho, spun around in his swivel chair with an evil grin.

"In time my friend, in time. Until Total Drama Action's fanbase dies down, THEN, we shall strike! Until then, Chris McLean, LIVE WITH FEAR!!!!" Akira screamed into the heavens. The Japanese worker stared at Akira like he was crazy.

"Suit yourself..." The worker muttered.

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A/N: Sorry, I JUST HAD TO INCLUDE THAT LAST PART LOL!

But anyway, don't expect an update for maybe a week, because this weekend I'm going to Atlantic City for a J. Giles Band concert, but I'll have Wi-Fi while I'm in Atlantic, so look for updates every day,

just in case...:)


	37. Return Of Edzilla

Chapter 37

Return Of Edzilla

"Okay, so I can keep Ed fixiated on that monster, does anybody have a rubber chicken?" Ted asked. Everyone looked at each other confused.

"Why would you need a rubber chicken? Is the monster you turned that idiot into obsessed with practical jokes?" Heather asked. Ted frowned, and then wacked her with a book.

"Sure you twit, but for now, I'M IN CHARGE! Anyway, I need it because Ed likes chickens you see, and I need one to put his attention on it to attack the animatronic." Ted convinced. Lindsay then had a puzzled look on her face.

" But how would you know that when you're scared of them?" Lindsay asked. Ted frowned and then smiled.

".....No Lindsay, I'm not Tyler, I'm Ted...." Ted said angrily but with a happy tone.

"Oh....sorry." Lindsay apologized. Ted then walked over to a clearing.

"People, let's get this all straight, I'm in charge for this, because I know Ed personally, and you think he's a moron. How would you like it if you were inside the intestines of a monster, going to it's bowels, AND TURN INTO FECKLEMATTER AND SLIDE OUT OF THE MONSTER'S BUTT LIKE A PENGUIN DOWN AN ANTARTICAN SLOPE?!!" Ted yelled. Everyone sat silent, trying to wonder what Ted said.

"What did he just say?" Mr. Blik whispered to Brian.

"I don't know, something about us becoming crap out of the monster's butt." Brian guessed. Unknowingly, Ted was glaring at the two.

"SHUT UP!" Ted yelled.

*Confessional*

Ted: See, I wanted everyone to follow what I said, and they seemed to be doing pretty well, until....

*Cutback*

"EVERYONE, THE METAL BOY WANTS TO SPEAK!" Zim shouted. Ted looked at Zim with inquiry, and then wacked him on the head.

"Be quiet, anyway, either someone gives me a rubber chicken, or I'll have to go to drastic measures and make Ed Luthor, AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!" Ted shouted. Ted ran off to find Ed.

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Meanwhile, Edzilla threw the animatronic monster (for now, we'll call him A.M) into the woods. Edzilla roared and trudged over to A.M, and then pounced onto his body. A.M threw Edzilla into the large mountain. Edzilla roared again, and A.M roared back, grabbed a tree, and jabbed it into Edzilla's mouth. Edzilla, surprisingly ate the tree, and then suddenly threw up about a tanker truck full of leaves. A.M then grabbed Edzilla's head, attempting to tear his head off. Edzilla suddenly bit down on A.M's arm, and began tearing at it's rubber flesh. A.M then started spurting oil out of it's gashed arm. A.M then gripped Edzilla's head with it's arm slipping off from the oil. Edzilla then grabbed A.M's head, and then gripped in with his teeth so tightly, that the rubber skin was torn off to reveal a Mechagodzilla-esque looking head. Out of nowhere, A.M fired laserbeams out of his mouth.

*Confessional*

Chris: I figured if we added a little surprise to the challenge, we could maybe add a little more drama....dig it?

*Cutback*

Edzilla then grabbed A.M's robotic head, and ripped every gear out of his head. A.M, in a dead daze, fell into the beach water and blew into pieces. Edzilla then roared, and then started laughing.

"Ha ha, that was fun...." Edzilla muttered in an Ed-like voice. Suddenly, Ted grabbed the mask off Ed's head.

"Good boy Ed." Ted said happily. Ted threw a cookie to Ed, and Ed joyfully gulped it.

*Confessional*

Ted: Boy, when you have a lacky to help you win challenges.....it's real nice....

Ed: I still remember the first time I was a monster, and the second time was a lot of fun!

*Cutback*

"Everyone, I, Ted V. Wakeman, am glad to announce that our Big Lug has won the challenge for us!" Ted announced happily. Everyone stared at him confused.

"What? You don't know what a Big Lug is? Idiots." Ted muttered. Ed was giddily dancing while Ted stared at everyone.

"THAT EARTH BOY RUINED OUR CHALLENGE!" Zim yelled angrily.

"What do you mean? You did nothing!" Jenny yelled.

"For once, I agree with the Robot Chick." Duncan agreed. Suddenly, Zim's disguse floated off, revealing his alien attenas and red eyes.

"I KNEW IT! He was an alien!" Courtney exclaimed. Ted stared at Zim confused.

"How in the first place did you get on this show anyway?" Ted asked.

"Um.....awkward?" Ed muttered.

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Later that night, the Killer Bass where once again at the Bonfire.

"Alright you pesky teenagers, as you all know, one of you is going home tonight and....ah forget it, ZIM'S OUT!" Chef announced. Zim gasped with a look of surprise.

"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ZIM'S WRATH!! THIS IS NOT THE LAST OF ZIM!" Zim yelled. Suddenly, G.I.R rode in on a Zoot Speeder, and opened the cockpit.

"HI STUPID HE-U-MANS!" G.I.R greeted. Zim jumped in, and began riding away, when suddenly, smoke poofed out the back, and then carrened down into the water.

"Grrr, G.I.R YOU NINCOMPOOP YOU FORGOT TO REFUEL THE SHIP!" Zim yelled. The ship then smashed into the water.

"That'll teach him a little lesson, that bug eyed freak." Mr. Blik said enjoyed.

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Elsewhere, Ted and Lindsay sat in...basically a solitary spot in the woods.

"Lindsay, I have a question. Do you....eh.....like me?" Ted asked nervously.

"Do you mean friend like or....like, like?" Lindsay asked. Ted broke into a cold sweat.

"Um, the second one." Ted said motioning with his hand.

"Of course. As long as your willing I'm fine with it." Lindsay replied. Ted smiled, but then noticed a huge gaping hole behind Lindsay. Ted pointed behind her.

"What? Is there something in my hair?" Lindsay asked. Suddenly, Ted grabbed Lindsay as soon as Ed playfully snapped his mouth in his Edzilla costume.

"Now that was awkward....ha ha!" Ed laughed. Ted frowned, and walked over, and smacked him in the face.

"You got that right Godzilla." Ted joked angrily.

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"Still waiting on that lawsuit Mr. Akira!"

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AN: I had fun with this chapter, and hopefully you great readers enjoy it.

I'll be in Atlantic City the next few days, but my hotel has internet connection, so I'll be able to update at least one chapter on Saturday. Look out for a chapter on Saturday. If there isn't one there, check on Monday afternoon and you'll have a new chapter.

Till then,

TED WAKEMAN OUT!


	38. Love Stinks, Like Fish

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

I was off to an awards ceremony, so the campers were to accomplish a monster movie challenge. Although Ted's dictating attitude made him go head over heels, the Gophers ended up winning with a little help of Ed's over-reactive imagination. It was Zim, who would _literally_ take the plunge from Total Drama Action, into the cold water. With the Gophers winning three in a row, let's see if the Gophers can win four in a row on this new, and totally copyright infringement free....Total.....Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 38

Love Stinks, Like Fish

As the miserable bird outside the Gopher cabin chirped, Ted was trying to wake up Ed.

"Come on Lumpy, you need to be AWAKE for the challenge!" Ted exclaimed angrily.

*Confessional*

Ted: Seeing as this competition is down to twelve campers, I think it's about time to get the competitive vibes flowing!

Ted then pulls a glass out of nowhere reading, "Competitive Juice".

Ted: WHAT?! I don't get all those attitudes from myself! Also, to all those so called "TDA Fans" that don't like me.......YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!

Ed: Boy howdy, I love this show! I'm in the final twelve and I've got a girlfriend!

Izzy: How many times do I have to tell you people, I DON'T LIKE HIM!

Ed: She so digs me....

Izzy: NO I DON'T!

*Cutback*

"Hello Mr! Do you like cheese?" Ed muttered in his sleep. Ted then began slapping Ed in the face, and he suddenly woke up in shock.

"Oh! Hello Ted! How is the morning in this pretty morning?!" Ed asked happily. Ted patted Ed on the head and was on his way to the door.

"Ted, why do hang out with all the dim-witted people on this team anyway?" Gwen asked as he walked out the door. Ted heard Gwen say this and he immeadetly walked back in.

"What did you say about my friends?" Ted asked. Courtney laughed.

"Maybe that's because he's an idiot." Courtney answered.

"That would make sense!" Heather joined in. Ted growled.

"STOP! Okay, just stop! I made friends, they're NOT dim-wits, JUST SHUT UP!" Ted yelled. Ed laughed and started running around under his bunk covers, and then began readig his comics. Ted looked embarrassingly at Ed.

"That just proves my point..." Courtney added. Ted frowned.

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"Hello campers, and welcome to the last twelve weeks of TDA!" Chris announced. Everyone groaned, even Ed and Ted, who weren't enjoying TDA as much as they used to.

"Today, you will write a script for not one, but **two**, Romance movies!" Chris exclaimed. Everyone gasped.

"What?" Ted asked shockingly. Chris smiled.

"Added to that, the co-captain from the challenge before will write the first script, and the captain will write the second one." Chris finished. Ted stared at Ed in disbelief, and both of them smiled and stared at their crushes.

*Confessional*

Ted: Okay, this game has gotten a whole lot more interesting.....

Ed: This is ganna be fun...Ha ha....

*Cutback*

"So, seeing as you've already set captains and co-captains......go!" Chris announced. Ted pulled out a pencil and handed it to Ed, who began laughing.

"Thanks for the corn. I like corn...." Ed muttered and laughed. Ted stared at Ed confused, and handed the pen to him.

"Just take it...." Ted said confused.

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A/N: Yeah, this chapter was a tad rushed, and that's because I'm aiming to finish this story by the end of August. It's not that I'm not trying, I'm trying to get to chapters done.

PLEASE REVIEW!

P.S

NOBODY should take offense of the TDA Fans joke. It was little joke I wanted to add in with the recent reviews.


	39. Stupid Little Thing Called Love

Note: Whatever text is slanted is part of the film.

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Total Drama Action

Chapter 39

Stupid Little Thing Called Love

As Ed sat and wrote the script for a production he called, "The Happy People Who Like Each Other Alot", Ted was busy prepping himself for an obvious role in Ed's movie. As Ed continued to write, Ted began to grow impatient.

"Come on Ed! I have to write too!" Ted demanded. Ed turned around.

"Don't worry Ted, I've got it all under control. See, I'm finished." Ed announced in a proud tone. Ted picked up the script and then smiled.

"Alright, now let's rehearse." Ted said confidently. Ed followed Ted as he walked away to look at the script.

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Meanwhile, Edd was busy writing the script for his movie, "Young And A Lover".

"And he slowly spoke...dah. I keep acquiring that blasted writer's block..." Edd cursed frustratingly. Mr. Blik walked over and stared at the script.

"Hm, looks like you have solid characters, but a bad plot. Maybe I could help?" Mr. Blik suggested. Edd smiled happily and handed Mr. Blik the pencil.

"Okay, we'll start with the first storyboard..." Mr. Blik began.

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"I AM NOT DOING THAT!" Both Courtney and Ted yelled angrily. Ed had a gloomy look on his face.

"But Ted, you're a ladies man...." Ed said disappointingly. Ted frowned angrily.

"I'm not going to do that! That's disgusting!" Ted said angrily.

"Why would I want to do that to **Ted**, let alone a robot?!" Courtney asked going in Ed's face. Ed started sniffling.

"I was just being a filmmaker!" Ed said beginning. For the first time, Ted didn't feel bad for Ed, and he growled.

*Confessional*

Ted: Come on, that' just....gross! I mean, who would want to do that?!

Courtney: Now that Ed kid REALLY creeps me out....

Ed: I don't care, it's still genius. Courtney and Ted should be happy they get to kiss each other....

*Cutback*

"Guh, I guess we might as well get this over with..." Ted suggested. Ed smiled as Courtney nodded admittingly. Ted walked off to look at his script as Ed worked on props for his film.

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"So are you happy with the stuff we crafted?" Mr. Blik asked Edd. Edd smiled and patted Mr. Blik on the head as he purred.

"Of course, I think we've got a great movie crafted." Edd said assuringly. Edd wrote the last of the finishing touches, and then began practicing.

"_There is, shall'nt there will never be, a sight comparible to your beatiful face." _Edd recited. Mr. Blik grabbed a script, and noticed he didn't have a part.

"Hey Double D, where am I in this movie?" Mr. Blik asked.

"Oh...uh, your the rock..." Edd muttered admiringly looking at his script. Mr. Blik frowned and grabbed Edd by the shoulders.

"You backstabber! You didn't give me a part!" Mr. Blik yelled. Edd grabbed Mr. Blik's script and scribbled something on it.

"Fine! You can have my part! I'll be the rock...." Edd muttered sadly. Mr. Blik smiled and walked away to the set to get ready for the filming.

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"And, crackers!" Ed said happily. Ted frowned and walked over.

"It's action Ed!" Ted yelled into Ed's ear. Ted walked back to the set, and Ed motioned to roll the film.

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_Stupid Love_

_Directed & Written by Ed H. Gravus_

_Narrator: In the sunny town of Newburg, lived a normal boy named Jack, and his trusty hound named Horace._

_*Jack walks through the door and into a wheat meadow while Horace follows running and barking.*_

_Ted (Jack): Come on Horace, there's a sale on duct tape at the dollar store!_

_*Horace runs through the field barking at Jack as his keeps running. Suddenly, Jack spots someone up ahead.*_

_Jack: Hey Horace who's....._

_*Horace runs in Jack, causing him to run into the person, and they continue to roll down the hill, until finally they land in a lake near town.*_

_Jack: Ow...._

_*As Jack wipes dirt and grass off him, he hears growling, and sees a girl (Alice) sitting next to him while Horace tugs at her growling._

_Alice: Call off your stupid dog!_

_Jack: Hey, he ain't stupid!_

_*As Horace hears this, he gets off and heels in front of Jack.*_

_Jack: Okay, sorry. I stopped and Horace ran into me and....._

_Alice: It's fine, it's just people don't know how hard it is to be a teenager._

_Jack: Don't get me started...._

_*Horace tugs at Jack's pants, but Jack pushes him away.*_

_Jack: Hey, you want to hang out sometime? I mean, I did kinda screw up your day right?_

_Alice: Sure. And you didn't screw up my day, you just made my week._

_*Jack and Horace walk back to their house as Alice sits and dreams.*_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Note: I'm just ganna speed up until the real important parts....

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_Jack: Oh my god, I've never felt this feeling in my entire life!_

_Alice: Same here. I've never met someone like you before!_

_*Jack looks at Alice lovingly, and they both passionatly kiss each other.*_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Courtney flailed her arms trying to pry Ted's mouth off. Ted recoiled, and then became mushy in emotion while Courtney spit the sensation out of her mouth.

"Your lips taste like oil!" Courtney yelled angrily. Ted's eyes then turned to hearts.

"You've got no idea how your lips taste.....and your.....god you're sexy......" Ted muttered dreamily. Ed smiled happily and went over to pat Ted.

"Ah, see what I told you Ted, you little square of butter?" Ed asked.

"...Uh huh...." Ted muttered dreamily. Ed stared at Ted, and snapped his fingers in front of Ted's face.

*Confessional*

Ted: SEXY, SEXY SEXY! Although, I do get the feeling she doesn't feel the same way....

Ed: Ladies man...Wink, wink...

Courtney: How could I be such an idiot? Locking lips with _him_? Why didn't I just make that weird goth girl or Lindsay do it?

*Cutback*

"Just for helping me expierence....heaven, I'll give you a scene where you kiss a girl." Ted said assuringly. Ed's eyes lit up in glee.

"Really? Who?!" Ed asked happily. Ted shook his head.

"I won't tell you right now, but you'll know soon enough..." Ted spoke happily. Ted inserted Ed's script into his automatic copier machine to copy Ed's script. Ted took the copy and took out a pencil and began sketching. Ed stood giddingly about a kiss, and Ed wondered who it could be.

"I like girls....." Ed muttered.

"I'VE GOT IT!" Ted proclaimed. Ed grabbed the script, and read it attentively, until he got to the end, when his face blew apart in happiness. Ed then jumped up and hugged Ted.

"Oh Teddy, that's my dream come true!" Ed exclaimed happily. Ted smirked in his own accomplishment as Ed hugged him.

*Confessional*

Ted: Seeing as Ed gave me an excellent expierence, I'll give Ed the benefit of the doubt, and let him lock lips with his girlfriend, that crazy girl Izzy. Honestly, I can see why he likes her. Crazy Girl plus Cooky Boy equals, sap on the fingers of fate.

Ed: Oh boy, Izzy's ganna be so happy!

Izzy: Who cares, I still have a boyfriend, at least this guy won't need a restraining order after this. Hear that Graham, I still like you!

*Cutback*

"It's just a little...gift I'm giving for your smart mind." Ted replied happily. Ted handed Ed handed Ed a men's breathalizer. Ed stared at it attentively.

"Oh, it's a candy in a can!" Ed guessed. Ted frowned and then pushed Ed away. Ed ran away and began spraying his mouth with a ammense amount of breathalizer.

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"Excellent everyone! Now gather around so Jenny can give us the next props list!" Edd commanded as he sat in a directors chair. Everyone was still busy babbling, while Mr. Blik was standing next to the director's chair in a torn Civil War costume.

"Looks like we've got some issues with our ears...." Mr. Blik suggested. Edd looked down at Mr. Blik with a annoyed look.

"I think we both figured that out a long time ago." Edd muttered. Edd suddenly pulled a airhorn out of his hat, put earplugs in his and Mr. Blik's ears, and blew it in the cramped filming pavilion, which practically blew everyones' heads off, except Jenny, who couldn't even hear (She'd probably be quite thankful for that in this situation).

"Alright everyone, Jenny is now our new director for film #2. Everyone get to work!" Edd commanded. Edd handed Jenny a pen and paper as they passed each other. Edd then ran off to find some props for the second film.

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"Alright people, into positions! In this final scene, you both kiss passionatly and slowly. It's kind of like Titanic, only no naked woman." Ted explained. Ed nodded his head in agreement. Izzy had actually gone through the movie quite well, and developed somewhat of an interest in Ed's personality, but who could blame her considering the two had almost the same personalities.

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_Matt (Ed): So Jill, you still think I'm a beginner...._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Out of nowhere, Izzy grabbed Ed's mouth, ignoring the script, and kissed him and Ed and Izzy held this way for almost 15 seconds. As soon Izzy and Ed stopped, Ed laughed dreamily and fell to the ground in a daze.

"Yippee yahoo!" Ed exclaimed happily as he fell to the hard floor.

"And **that's** for this whole entire day!" Izzy said energetically. Ted stared at everyone else on the Gophers in amazement, and Ted walked over with his mouth wide open. Ed got up and looked at Ted in confusion. Ed then grabbed Ted's bottom jaw and closed it shut, which caused Ted to talk again.

"WOW! You two are.....bread and butter! That scene is staying in the film no matter what!" Ted yelled extatically. Ed smiled.

"Can that bread and butter be the buttered toast kind?" Ed asked delightfully. Ted laughed, and patted both Ed and Izzy on the back.

*Confessional*

Ted: Boy, and I though Izzy said she **didn't **like him! Boy were all of us wrong!

Izzy: Hey, if it means being safe this week, I'm for having another boyfriend, I mean, I once had 10 boyfriends at once, of coyrse that didn't end well...hey, did I ever tell you guys I once fell down a well? Oh, anyway, I might actually like this kid....

*Cutback*

"All campers, please submit your film in....2 minutes!" Chris announced.

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As the campers babbled aimlessly, Chris came in with the four movies.

"Okay campers, we've tallied our opinions, and the best twom movies are......the Killer Bass!" Chris announced. Ted and Ed both looked at each other in dismay.

"Seeing as the Gophers basically copied their first movie, the Killer Bass automatically win." Chris explained. Ted stared at Chris with his mouth gaped open.

"Gophers, meet me at the bonfire tonight. See you then..." Chris finished. Ted frowned and walked back to the cabin with Ed.

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Later that night, while the Screaming Gophers were waiting for Chris to come with the marshmallows, Ed and Izzy started flirting (By request of Ted, who told Ed to start flirting with his girlfriend.

"Your eyes are you like those little green..um, olives I see at all of Double D's parties." Ed stuttered. Ted smacked himself in the face in embarassment.

"Your eyes look like those black olives I always see at the supermarket." Izzy replied back. Ted became thankful that both the two seemed to be unknowing to their stupidity. Chris then walked in, and interupted Ed and Izzy.

"Hello Gophers! Tonight, the eleventh camper on this island will be voted off. There are only six marshmallows here tonight. One of you will be going home, and will not come back to this island, and will not win the $1,000,000. The other six, will move on." Chris began. Ted smiled, knowing he wouldn't get voted off.

"The first marshmallows go to, Ted, Lindsay, Ed, Gwen, and Heather." Chris said throwing all of them to the respective campers. As Ed recieved his marshmallow, he looked at Izzy with sympathy, noticing she didn't get a marshmallow. On the other side however, Ted grinned at the fact Courtney didn't recieve a marshmallow.

"The final marshmallow goes to..." Chris began.

*Confessional*

Ted: I knew it was going to be Courtney. I wouldn't believe it if it was Izzy...

Ed: It was obviously Courtney that was supposed to go home....

*Cutback*

"Izzy....you won't be getting a marshmallow tonight, that means Courtney, your safe for another week!" Chris exclaimed. Ed fell to the ground in sadness, and Ted had his jaw gaping open for the third time that day.

"WHY MUST THE WORLD BE SO CRUEL?!" Ed exclaimed in sadness. As Izzy was about to leave, Ed ran after her, jumped onto Izzy, and kissed her with all his might.

"And **that's** for the kiss earlier!" Ed exclaimed in excitement.

"Don't you love happy endings?" Chris said sarcastically. Ed walked back with a smile, and he then started crying over Ted's shoulder.

"AND TO THINK, I ONLY SIGNED FOR ONE SEASON!" Ed cried.

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A/N: Yikes, I know this is SUPER LONG, but I had to fit it all into one so I could make the TDA Halfway Special for Chapter 40.

I know the EdxIzzy relationship is sappy, but luckily it won't be touched on until the chapters.

Like I mentioned before, Chapter 40 will be the TDA Halfway Special, and then back to the regular chapters.

Like always, REVIEWS ARE ACCEPTED!


	40. TDA Halfway Special!

Chris: Hello TDA Fans! Seeing as we're down to the last 11 campers, it's time for the TDA Halfway Special!

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Chris:Our first order of business will be interviewing some of our remaining campers. Our first guest, is the _second _dumbest camper on this show. This camper's relationship got a tad cut short last episode. Please give a warm as gravy welcome to Ed!

Ed walked in to huge applause while holding buttered toast.

Ed: Hey everyone! Can I have the cookie now?

Ed sat down next to Chris in a small stool that Ed pulled out of his jacket.

Chris: So Ed, the question EVERYONE has on their mind is, is you and Izzy's relationship serious?

Suddenly, Izzy jumped in beside Ed.

Izzy: Heck yes!

Ed: Hey look! It's my little angel cake!

Both Ed and Izzy quickly kissed each other on the lips, and Ed faced Chris again.

Chris: Okay, so repeating the question, is it?

Ed: Yes it is Chip! Ever since last episode we've had a huge relationship! I guess you can call us.....uh.....an angel fruit cake with gravy......Oh, that sounds delicious....

Chris: Getting back to the questions.....what are you going to do with the $1,000,000 if you win?

Ed thought for a moment, and then came to a conclusion.

Ed: Oh, I WOULD BUY JAWBREAKERS!

???: JAWBREAKERS?!

Suddenly, Eddy popped onto the stage from nowhere. Eddy then pounced on Ed like a panther.

Eddy: Did you say jawbreakers Lumpy?!

Chris: I guess you already know our special guest is Eddy, one of Ed's best friends!

Ed: Yes Eddy McGee! I said jawbreakers!

While he was on top of him, Eddy noticed Izzy.

Eddy: Ed, who the heck is that?

Ed: Oh, that's my girlfriend Izzy, don't you know?

Eddy: Ed, YOU GOT A CHICK?!

Ed stared at Eddy stupiditly.

Ed: Rolf's chickens had chicks Eddy?

Eddy: You're an idiot you know that?

Izzy picked Eddy up by the leg as Ed laughed.

Izzy: Were'd you get your talking beaver Ed?

Ed: Oh, that's not a talking beaver, that's my friend Eddy!

Eddy: Put me down you weirdo!

As if on que, Izzy dropped Eddy on the ground.

Eddy: Thanks.

Chris: Also, special guests today, Lee, May, & Marie Kanker!

Suddenly, the Kanker Sisters popped up from behind the stage.

Kankers: Hiya Eds!

Both of the Eds' eyes inflated in sight of their admirers

Ed & Eddy: KANKERS!

Ed and Eddy ran off as the Kankers bolted off after them.

Izzy: Alright people, see tommorow night on The Late Show!

Izzy then ran after the rest of the others.

Chris: Okay, so that gets rid of our first quest, now here's our next guest, the 6'5 robot, possibly outnumbers Courtney as the fan favorite on TDA...

*All of the Courtney fans boo (If there are any, Lol).*

Chris: Give a great welcome to Ted!

Ted then walked out with a huge grin on his face, and he sat in the leftover bench from Ed.

Ted: Hello Chris, thanks for the intro.

Chris: Sure dude. Anyway, here's our first question, is this you and Lindsay relationship still going on?

Ted; OF COURSE! Jeez, tenth time somebodies asked me that....

Chris: Can you tell us some reasons why she's a "perfect match" for you?

Ted: Absolutely. First of all, she's got some...sort of talent, she's hot! And most of, she's got boobies, and they're so perky!

Everyone gasped at this statement, and Chris stared at Ted surprised. Ted looked at everyone confused.

Ted: What?! She does!

Chris: Yeah....anyway, Chef and I made a bet with the producers when you came on.

Ted: What kind of bet?

Chris: Well, me and Chef bet the producers that you'd shed tears as soon as you heard this song we had on these headphones.

Ted: Really? Well, bring it on!

Chris: Okay....

Chris took the headphones and slipped them on Ted's mettalic head. Chris then slid in a disc labeled "Henry Gross".

Ted: Say, what song is this anyway?

Chris: Oh, just a song by Henry Gross.

Ted pondered for a few moments what songs Henry Gross sang. "Simone", "Come On Say It", "**Shannon"**.

Ted realized that Chris was playing the song "Shannon", a song that Ted had always cried at.

Ted: No....NO! NOT SHANNON! ANYTHING BUT SHANNON!

Chris: A deals a deal Ted.

Chris pressed "Play", and the song began playing, and Ted started sniffling.

_Another day is at hand..._

Ted: GAH!! I HATE YOU HENRY GROSS, WITH YOUR CLEVER LYRICS AND EMOTIONAL VOICE!

As Ted continued to whine and cry, Chris was laughing at Ted's expense.

Chris: Man, I love this show!

As the music died off in Ted's head, and Ted began sobbing, Chris walked over and pattd him on the back.

Chris: Looks like you won the bet for us Ted.

Ted suddenly grabbed Chris by the collar and started hypoventelating angrily.

Ted: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID BET! THAT SAD IS THE FREAKING SADDEST THING I'LL EVER HEAR!

Ted dropped Chris on the ground, and Ted ran off the stage sobbing and huffing angrily.

Chris: Well, that was weird, but hey, what do you expect from Ted? Am I right?

The whole crowd laughed at Chris's joke.

Chris: That's all the time we have for today, but we'll see you next time for another exciting episode of...

Suddenly, Ed and Eddy smashed into Chris.

Ed: Total!

Eddy: Drama!

Chris: ACTION! Now would you two please get off me?

The Kankers then appeared from the side of the stage.

Marie: Hey look, it's that hunk Chris McClain!

May: Let's kiss all three of them!

Lee: Dogpile girls!

The Kankers then attacked Chris, Ed and Eddy and began smooching them repeatedly. Izzy then ran over, reachd into the pile of people, and dragged Ed out.

Izzy: There you are! I thought you were off having fun without me!

Ed: Not at all my little angel!

Ed and Izzy then once more began kissing, as Eddy and Chris were assualted by the Kankers.

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A/N: LOL, as you can tell, I REALLY had fun writing this chapter!

In case you're wondering, that "boobies" joke was a reference to "Sixteen Candles".

Anyway, get ready for the second half of TDA in a day or two....or three...

ALL REVIEWS ARE EXCEPTED!


	41. The Fast & The Stupid

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

The campers had to not only write, but act out two different movies with two different writers. During these productions, there was alot of, unknown romance on the Gophers....Namely Ted and Courtney, and Ed and Izzy, who now seem to be a couple. Too bad the Gophers ended up losing the challenge, and Ed's new girlfriend would have to walk The Dock Of Shame a little early, but they still had a moment on the dock, and now today, with us halfway through the competition, the drama will highten, the relationships will crack, and alliances will be broken. Who will be going home tonight, find out on this next exciting episode of Total.....Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 41

The Fast and The Stupid

*Confessional*

Ted: You know, I've been thinking, I need to start working on my relationship skills with Lindsay. I mean, she is clueless and she thinks It's just an alliance. Well, not anymore!

Lindsay: It's been so great since I joined that alliance with Ted. It's working out so much better than that alliance with Hannah. Though, why do I get the feeling that he treats this like it's MORE than a alliance?

*Cutback*

Ted walked into the Gopher cabin to find Brian lying on the ground.

"What's shaking dog?" Ted asked.

"Besides my tail, nothing.", Brian replied, "What happened to you?"

Ted realized Brian noticed his sad face.

"Shannon...." Ted replied dully.

"Oh yeah, yikes." Brian contemplated. Suddenly, Ed burst through the door and knocked Ted over, causing Ted's front panel compartment to open up, sending his book flying, and then landed next to Brian.

"Hey, what's this?" Brian asked sniffing the book. Ted had a nervous look on his face.

"Uhh, nothing." Ted smiled worridly. Brian then creaked the book open.

"What the...OH MY GOD!!" Brian yelled staggering back. Ted laughed nervously as Brian sheilded his eyes with his hands.

"My god, are you a pervert?!" Brian exclaimed still sheilding his eyes. Ted rolled his eyes.

"Hey, at least they don't make dog versions of that stuff. Everywhere you look, you'd see pregneant dogs in the centerfold." Ted muttered.

"Yeah, but god! You make yourself so sophisticated looking, and now your telling me you read this crap?!" Brian asked. Ted shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh boy, is it the fifth issue of "Zorba Of The Deep" with uncut gore and squid fights?" Ed asked excitingly. Brian tried to stop Ed, but Ed opened the book, and a puzzled face came upon him.

"Wait, why is that woman..." Ed got cut short by Brian.

"Forget about it big guy, this is just a dream! Just a dream!" Brian yelled, grabbing Ed's eyes and shutting them. Ed then began staggering back, and while doing this, knocked Brian into his jacket.

"Where'd he go?' Ed asked looking behind him. Ted pointed in Ed's jacket, to which Ed smiled.

"Not to worry Brian, for Ed is going fishing!" Ed yelled into his jacket. Ed was greeted with a pile of vomet in his face from Brian.

"Ah, he's a cute little whats-ama-call it!" Ed said admiringly. Ed dug into his jacket, and then pulled out a dirt encrusted and partially vomet covered Brian.

"It's a boy Ted!" Ed laughed as he set Brian down, who then fell on his stomach from disgust.

"Don't go in there Ted, don't go in there!" Brian said frighteningly as he crawled over to Ted. Ted backed away disgusted as Brian crawled toward him. Just as Ted backed into the wall, the door opened and Gwen walked in. As quickly as Ted had noticed when Ed first pulled him out, Gwen noticed the dirt encrusted dog crawling across the floor.

"Is that Brian?" Gwen asked. Ted nodded with a disgusted face.

"Would you three PLEASE make yourself useful?!" Brian asked angrily. Ted grabbed some gloves and a gasmask, and picked Brian up.

"Now, let's get you to the stream." Ted stated and he walked out with Brian, leaving Ed and Gwen in the room. Ed stared at Gwen stupiditly.

"Yep, it's me alright..." Ed said with a grin.

"When aren't you like this?" Gwen asked sarcastically. Gwen left the room, and Ed then stared into outspace.

"I love canoes...." Ed stated to himself, breaking a long silence.

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Meanwhile at the river, Ted dropped Brian into the water.

"Now you just sit here and wash until you're clean!" Ted said happily. Ted dropped a bar of soap in the water, and then left. Brian then faced the camera.

"You know, you could leave me be instead of following me where ever I go." Brian said blankly. The camera then turned around to face the forest.

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All the campers (Except Brian) were gathered at the mess hall to hear for their next challenge.

"Hello campers, and welcome to eleventh week of Total Drama Action. Today's challenge will be based, on the classic car chase scenes from old movies from the 70's and 80's." Chris stated.

*Confessional*

Ted: No sweat. I've got this all under control.

*Cutback*

"But, this week instead of being with your original team, you will be split into a group of boys, and a group of girls." Chris announced. Ted then faced Courtney, and snickered.

*Confessional*

Courtney: I don't care. Being with a half-wit, a goth, a robot and a spoiled brat won't be as bad being stuck with a idiot robot, a talking dog and a filthy moron.

*Cutback*

"To fit all of you, we rented two vans for you to drive. To win this challenge, you just need to complete the track we set up, and whoever crosses the finish line back here at camp, their group wins ammuntiy. The losing group however, will need to see me at bonfire tonight to vote off one of their campers." Chris explained. Ted thought about what he had to work with in his group. Ted just needed to deal with a pycshopath, his best friend, his best friend's best friend, a talking cat and a talking dog. Suddenly, Ted wondered where Brian was.

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Brian was busy bathing, and was shaking the water out of his fur.

"This is the last time I wash in a stream." Brian said annoyed. Without noticing, Brian stepped on the bar of soap, and slipped, causing him to splash into the current of the stream. Brian then noticed the stream was carrying him.

"Damnit, I hate you Ted!' Brian yelled angrily. Brian then noticed a waterfall up ahead.

"Holy...." Brian began as he felt the water curve.

"..CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!" Brian screamed as he plummeted down the waterfall, and splashed into the lake below.

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"Is that a turnip that you're eating?" Mr. Blik asked Ed as he dug into a turnip while the boys where in their van driving through the woods.

"You bet your sure bippy brain it is." Ed answered. Mr. Blik stared at Ed for a few second more, and then pulled a bag of potato chips out and began munching on them.

Ted was at the front of the van, driving the vehicle, when he noticed the radio sitting on the dashboard.

"Finally! Chris supplies us with something good!" Ted exclaimed happily. Ted flipped the radio, and came onto a Classic Rock station.

"This is what we've got my boys, rock, a van, and the open forest road." Ted said sounding wise. Ted turned the volume up to hear a song he'd want to hear.

"SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE! Everyone sing it with me!" Ted said trying to egg people in. Everyone sat in the van confused. Ted frowned, and turned the radio down.

*Confessional*

Ted: Idiots. They don't know a good song when they hear it....

*Cutback*

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Meanwhile, with the girls, things weren't working as well as radios and potato chips.....

Jenny, seeing as the lazy teenage robot she is, simply plugged her internal driving system into the van and it drove itself.

"Janet, do I have to sit next to Heather?" Lindsay asked Jenny. Jenny frowned and turned around to face Lindsay.

"I don't care if you need to sit next to her daddy's girl, just deal with it!" Jenny yelled obnoxiously.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: I don't know why Jimmy is so mean. Maybe she's just jealous she's not pretty as me. I mean come on, who wears all blue anymore? Hello!

*Cutback*

"This is becoming a nightmare." Jenny muttered angrily. Jenny decided to drown the rest of the girls with music.

"You know robot girl, your not going to get these girls off your back until you vote them off, and I think I can help." Heather tempted Jenny. Jenn tried to ignore the brat, but ended up giving in to temptation.

"Are you suggesting an alliance? Because if so, I'm in." Jenny replied with a smiled.

*Confessional*

Heather: Getting that robot girl to join me was pretty easy, and added to that, not only do I have a alliance member, I have a superpowered robot as a alliance member.....

*Cutback*

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Meanwhile, Brian finally crawled out of the huge lake partially bruised, and he then fell to the dirt. As Brian sighed, he reached to scratch his back, when he felt his skin. Brian then realized half his body was covered in fur, while the other half was bare skin.

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A few minutes later, Brian had a grass tunic on different parts of his body. Suddenly, Brian heard stomping, and he turned around and came face to face with a huge bear.

"Crap." Brian sighed.

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A/N: Once again, I loved writing this chapter.

REVIEWS FOR THIS ARE ALSO ACCEPTED!


	42. 2 Fast, Too Drunk

Chapter 42

2 Fast, Too Drunk

As Ted was rumaging through the van, he found a small silver container in a bag on him. Ted picked up the metal container, and Ted heard liquid jiggling. Ted remembered seeing Brian drinking out of it billions of times before, so Ted decided it wouldn't hurt to try. Ted took a gulp and then felt strange.

"Probably me..." Ted said to himself.

In the backseat, Ed was busy reading one of his comics, and was babbling to Mr. Blik about the different characters.

"And now, I'm reading a comic called "G.E.A.R"! It's about a truck, and um....three cats!" Ed explained. Mr. Blik suddenly became interested.

"Wait, did you say a truck named G.E.A.R? Three cats? A comic book? That's the comic book my show was based off of!" Mr. Blik realized. Ed smiled.

"Does that mean your a comic star?" Ed asked dumbly. Mr. Blik shruggd his shoulders and grabbed Ed's comic.

In the far back seat, Double D was busy (reluctantly) talking with Duncan.

"So, why did you go to juvenile detention in the first place?" Edd asked.

"You know, vandalism, picking fights, false advertisment." Duncan went on. Edd smiled.

"False advertisement. That sounds familiar..." Edd laughed thinking of his friend Eddy.

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About an hour later in the course, the boys' van was hectic. Mr. Blik jumping up and down while reading Ed's comic. Edd was busy describing Eddy to Duncan and how they were alike, and Ted, well, he became drunk from all of Brian's liquor, and Ted was babbling randomly.

"Do....guh....do I need to, do I need to turn around, will I because...man I'm drunk...." Ted muttered hazely. Duncan took his attention off Edd to realize Ted was drunk.

"Looks like you wiped out a bit huh dude?" Duncan asked. Ted looked at Duncan with his eyes crossed.

"You be quiet Mr. Mayo....." Ted muttered. Unknowingly to Ted, he had driven off the course and into the woods. Edd decided to be the first to point it out.

"Um, Ted." Edd said nervously.

"What do you want bookworm?" Ted asked drunkingly.

"TREE!" Edd yelled. Ted, in stupidity, drove the van around the tree, and coincidentally drove right back on course next to the girls' van.

"Look out Ted there's someone on the road!" Ed yelled at Ted. Ed then began slapping Ted. Ed, in doing this, caused the steering wheel to turn and their van smashed into the girls' van, throwing the drunk Ted and from each others vans.

Ted suddenly realized he was in the girls van.

"AHHHH!!!" Both Ted and the rest of the girls screamed as they realized each other's presence.

"So, hi Jenny!" Ed laughed in the other van while shaking Jenny's hand. Jenny frowned.

*Confessional*

Jenny: Looks like being an idiot is a disease over on the boys side.

*Cutback*

As soon as Ted was done screaming, Ted jumped out of the window and on top of the van.

"If I just.....crap, hazy thoughts...." Ted muttered angrily as he began swaying back and forth drunkingly. Ted then launched a grappling hook across the gap between the two vans.

"Let's just hope....DAMNIT, why did I have to get drunk?!" Ted cursed angrily. The grappling hook then wrapped around the side view mirror of the other van.

In the boys van, Ed was wrestling with Jenny while trying to drive, while Mr. Blik still had his nose in Ed's comics, and Edd and Duncan were watching the comedy unfold.

Ted, with pure brute and partially drunk strength, pulled the boys van right next to the girls van.

"Guys, I have a question.." Heather said nervously in the van.

"NOBODIES DRIVING THE VAN!" Courtney realized.

As the girls below tried to drive the van, Ted jumped across to the other van.

"Now, time to activate my....I HATE THAT STUPID LIQUOR!" Ted yelled. Ted then activated his chainsaw, and began sawing the roof off.

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After 10 minutes, Ted ripped the roof off the van and jumped in.

"Oh, hi Ted! You came just in time to kick that robot out!" Mr. Blik greeted Ted. Ted jumped to the front to face Jenny.

"High honey, and goodbye." Ted smiled smugly. Ted then grabbed Jenny and threw her out the window and into the other van.

"Hi Jane." Lindsay greeted Jenny as she flew in through the window.

"Lindsay, please just shut up." Jenny muttered angrily.

Ted then ripped the hook off, and sent the other van spinning to the hood facing behind and the behind facing the front.

"Bye girls! Have fun at bonfire!" Ted called back.

"You know Jenny, he has a point and that point is the reason you'll be out this week." Courtney said assuringly. Jenny then activated her laser, stuck it out of the window, and blasted it, sending the van catapulting forward.

"We'll see about that Courtney." Jenny said with a smile.

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Meanwhile, Brian was walking around trying to find the way back to the camp.

"I shouldn't have listened to that idiot." Brian muttered to himself. As Brian walked, he noticed the camp up ahead. Brian began running, but when he finally reached the camp, he noticed the bathroom.

"Oh, there'd better not be...." Brian trailed off. Brian ran and opened the door, and the first thing he noticed was, the showers.

"Oh, you're f****** kidding me!" Brian yelled angrily.

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While Ted was easily piloting his van, Mr. Blik's head was being blown back from the mind.

"Hey Ed, you mind if you pull my...head back?" Mr. Blik asked. Ed nodded and grabbed Mr. Blik by one of his long ears, but when he pulled him back, Mr. Blik's other ear jabbed right into three of Ed's comics.

"NOO!! MY COMICS!!!!" Ed cried with tears blowing out of his eyes.

"Oh, um....sorry Ed...Ha ha." Mr. Blik laughed nervously. Ed then began mourning the "death" of his comics.

Suddenly, the girls van blew past the boys.

"What the..?" Ted stuttered.

As the girls crossed the finish line, Duncan smacked his face.

"So much for winning...." Duncan stated angrily. Ted frowned.

"Beaten by girls....." Ted muttered angrily.

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"As everyone most likely knows, the Girls have won this challenge!" Chris announced quiet late. Ted walked over, and socked Chris in the shin.

"Stop rubbing salt in the scratch Chris." Ted growled. As Ted walked back, Brian walked up to him.

"Oh, hi Brian." Ted muttered angrily.

"You know.....your such a dumbass...." Brian said calmly. Ted walked away, trying to remember what he exactly did.

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"Hello Boys, and welcome to first bonfire in this competition to feature all the campers at the ceremony of the same sex." Chris stated. Mr. Blik was still smiling nervously at Ed, while Ed was duct taping his comics back together.

"The first marshmallow goes to.....Ed"

"Duncan"

"Brian"

"Double D"

Mr. Blik began sweating, while Ted glanced around, trying to figure out why people were trying to vote him off.

"The final marshmallow goes to.........."

Mr. Blik started chewing his ear, while Ted started punching himself in nervousness.

"Ted."

Ted breathed a relieved breath and walked up to claim his marshmallow.

"But....but, what did I do?!" Mr. Blik asked confused. Ed began crying.

"YOU....YOU KILLED MY COMIC BOOKS!" Ed cried. Mr. Blik sulkingly walked over to the Dock Of Shame, and thought abut how a mistake could've made him leave the island.

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A few minutes later, while the girls were celebrating a win, Ted noticed Lindsay outside the cabin. Ted glanced to see if anybody was watching.

*Confessional*

Ted: I had to make my move on her. That'd be the only way to turn this from alliance to relationship

*Cutback*

"Uh, hey Lindsay." Ted said nervously while walking over.

"Hi Todd!" Lindsay replied in her same happy tone Ted had grown usual listening to.

"My name's Ted, and I need to ask you something. Have you....ever had a relationship?" Ted asked. Lindsay looked surprised at the question.

"Oh, of course not. Why?" Lindsay asked.

*Confessional*

Ted: PLEASE don't tell me she's a hoe!

*Cutback*

"Because....because......" Ted stuttered. Then, in a absolute pure act of affection, Ted smooched Lindsay on the lips, and held like that until he felt so tired that he fell to the ground.

"Wow Tom! You're so romantic!" Lindsay said gittyly. Ted just sat on the ground like a log.

"Really? I did that because....YOU'RE MY LOVE!" Ted yelled, wasting the last of his haze from the liquor.

"Seriously? Then why don't we be BFF's?!" Lindsay suggested. Ted sighed and smiled.

"Change that, to boyfriend and girlfriend, and you've got a deal...." Ted muttered in a tired mumble.

"Deal." Lindsay ansered happily nodding her head. As Lindsay went back into the cabin, Ted laughed.

"I love it when I get the girl too easily...." Ted muttered before he began crawling back to the cabin.

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As Brian was trying to sleep, he grabbed his liquor bottle, and went to get a swig of liquor, when he realized it was empty.

"I don't believe it....HE DRANK ALL MY LIQUOR!" Brian yelled angrily into the night.

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A/N: Yes, Lindsay and Ted finally "offically" kissed.

Ted being drunk was supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure it was very funny, considering his drunk tone and attitude is silenced by the words instead of voices.

So, now we're down....to 10....

REVIEWS ARE GLADLY ACCEPTED!


	43. Wrecking Ball & Chain

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

Brian was unfortunate enough to accidentally venture into Ed's jacket. Brian ended up stinking so much, Ted was stupid enough to drop Brian in the river for him to wash off, which prompted Brian to miss the challenge. Meanwhile, the teams were seperated into the Boys and Girls team. What followed was a battle of the sexes and stupidity on wheels, but in the end, the Girls came out victorous, and Mr. Blik was forced to miss out on the rest of the competition, and was booted off after tearing Ed's comic books apart. How tragic....And Ted finally got some real action...coming from Lindsay's lips, and the two FINALLY became a couple. That was like watching paint dry. Now, make yourself comfy in that chair, couch or dumpster your sitting in, and get ready for the most exciting episode yet, of Total....Drama....ACTION!

Chapter 43

Wrecking Ball & Chain

As Ted happily dreamt away, Ed was pouncing on Ted to wake him up.

"Come on Ted, we need to win today!" Ed exclaimed happily. In doing this, Ed woke the entire cabin up.

"Ed, please shut up. It's bad enough I can't sleep without my liquor because your drunk robot friend used it all up." Brian said tired and angrily.

"Don't mind them Ed, they just want to upset you." Edd said cheeringly. Ed smiled, and began jumping on Ted. Everytime Ed did this, Ted began talking in his sleep.

"What...? Oh yes....I do.....zzz" Ted said with bored tone. Ed began to give up, when he thought of a better idea. Ed then pulled Sheldon (Jr.) out of his pocket, and the waved it over Ted's head. Even though Ted couldn't smell it, everyone else could, and began closing their nasal passages.

"Edward, put that confounded cheese away!" Edd pleaded. Ed frowned.

"Stinky hat!" Ed replied. Edd and Ed began bickering. After about 10 minutes through this, Ted woke up to find the two on top of him.

"Ed! Get off me!" Ted yelled. Ed moved off on command, and put his cheese away.

"Thank you for settling that fight Ted. If there's anything...." Edd began, but was interupted by an angry Ted.

"Please be quiet Einstein Jr." Ted interupted angrily. Edd sighed.

*Confessional*

Edd: I'm afraid the competition has gotten to Ted's head, or maybe it's the liquor? Any which way, it's not surprising it's gotten to him considering its down to the final ten on this game.

*Cutback*

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Meanwhile, at the other cabin, everyone was giving Lindsay a angry look. It would seem like it was easy to tell why, but....

*Confessional*

Lindsay: For some reason, everyone was angry at me the entire morning. Am I really that good looking?

Courtney: That blonde girl better hope we win today, or she's the one that's going home this week.

*Cutback*

As Jenny walked by the blonde, Jenny walked over to Lindsay.

"If your small brain can't comprehend why everyone hates you, it's because all of us saw you making out with Ted last night." Jenny whispered smugly.

"Why was that so wrong to kiss Ted?" Lindsay asked. Jenny laughed.

"Number one, he's a robot. Number two, HE'S ON THE OTHER TEAM!" Jenny yelled.

"You know, you don't have to be so loud to get your point across Jackie!" Lindsay replied covering her ears.

"I have to be loud for your ant sized brain to listen to me!" Jenny exclaimed.

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While the campers were gathered at the bonfire, Brian sat down next to Ted a bit later than he usually did.

"Where the heck were you?" Ted asked.

"Oh, I fired one out in the bathroom before I got here." Brian responded. Ted suddenly looked confused.

"Wait, you know how to use a toilet?" Ted asked confused. Brian looked at Ted as if he was an idiot (Which he somewhat was).

"I'm a talking dog. What do you expect?" Brian asked, a tad annoyed. Ted shrugged his shoulders. Chris then walked in the middle of the campsite.

"Hello campers, and welcome to Week 11 of Total Drama Action!" Chris said.

"Todays challenge will involve some sick torture. Has anybody here seen the movie "Saw"?" Chris asked with a evil grin on his face. Ted looked at everyone, to which no one but him responded.

"Uh, all I know is it involves torture and lots of blood." Ted said somewhat confused. Chris laughed.

"Close enough. Todays challenge will involve torture, Saw style. There won't be any blood involved, but you're going to have to go through some sick, and I mean SICK, stuff to win this challenge!" Chris said with a delightfully satisfied smirk.

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"The first challenge today, will involve, a wrecking ball." Chris said with a content smile, "You'll need to take a cannon ball to your package, and not cry."

Everyone stared at each other with a scared look on their face. Finally, Jenny sighed and walked up.

"Alright, Jenny is the first camper to get tortured." Chris said in content.

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A few minutes later, Jenny was sitting in a chair in front of a wrecking ball.

"All you have to do I endure this one shot to.....that place and your clear." Chris explained.

"Alright, let's just...." Jenny was cut off by a long horn sound, and the wrecking ball came hurtling at Jenny, and it smashed right into Jenny and knocked her against the wall.

"......Ow...." Jenny squeaked in pain. Jenny then slid down the wall and to the ground.

"Wow, never thought someon would stick that one out, but hey, neither did the producers." Chris said surprised. Jenny got up, walked over to Chris, and then punched him in the face.

"Don't EVER make me do that again!" Jenny yelled angrily. Jenny walked back over to her team.

"Wow, did that hurt Jimmy?" Lindsay asked stupiditly. Jenny frowned, and then punched Lindsay in the face.

*Confessional*

Jenny: I'm sorry, but when Lindsay ASKS me if I'm okay after I'm nailed by a wrecking ball is where she crosses the line.

*Cutback*

"Okay, so who's next?" Chris asked with satisfactory. Everyone glanced at each other in fear, until Heather grabbed Lindsay's arm and put it up.

"Okay then, let the torture BEGIN!" Chris said with delight.

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A/N: Lol, this will be fun to write.....VERY FUN INDEED!

ALL REVIEWS ARE HAPPILY EXCEPTED!


	44. Cold As Lice

Total Drama Action

Chapter 44

Cold As Lice

"All you have to do is reach into the septic and pull the key out. Simple as that." Chris explained with a grin.

With reluctantcy, Lindsay reached into the toilet bowl, green face in all, and pulled a grimy key.

*Confessional*

Ed: Ah man, that looked like fun! I do that all the time at my house!

*Cutback*

"Oh, oh, MY TURN!" Ed said giddily.

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"Oh boy, this is ganna be fun!" Ed said happily looking at a milk glass full of lice.

"Dude, you sure you want to go throught with this?" Chris asked Ed. Ed nodded his head.

"O...kay..." Chris replied. Chris then handed Ed a straw. Ed then dipped the straw into the lice infested glass, and began slurping. As Ed slurped louse after louse, all the campers began vomiting, even Ted and Jenny, who were vomiting up gears and oil.

*Confessional*

Courtney: That is......BLAH!

Ted: That guy has some guts, putting lice into his disgestive systems.

*Cutback*

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A few hours later, the only people left in the challenge were Ted, Edd and Lindsay.

"Okay Ted, your challenge is to stay in this vad of acid for a whole minute." Chris explained. Ted looked at the vad as if it was a killer.

"If I win....this'll be worth it." Ted muttered to himself.

As Ted was being lowered into the acid, the first touch of the acid, Ted jumped up in pain.

"Okay, okay, NONE MORE OF THAT!" Ted yelled running away. Duncan once again smacked his face.

*Confessional*

Duncan: And now, all of our hopes of winning are in the hands of the nerd Double D.

*Cutback*

"Well, guess the means it's only Double D and Lindsay who's going to win this challenge. I think it's quite obvious who's going to win, but I shouldn't judge." Chris laughed.

*Confessional*

Edd: I am ready for anything. Hopefully it doesn't involve something disgusting. The last challenge I had to pull my own tooth out.

Lindsay: I'm not saying I'm going to win, but I think it's going to be easy beating Double G.

Edd: *Shows hole with blood trickling out where tooth should be.* LOOK! IT WAS RIGHT THERE!! GONE!

Lindsay: At least it won't be as gross as pulling a key out of the toilet.

Edd: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO THIS TO MOTHER & FATHER?! Oh hello mother. Oh, what's this? Oh, I'M MISSING A TOOTH!

*Cutback*

"The final challenge for both you two, is to sit upside-down for a whole 10 minutes! Someone's getting alot of blood rushed to their head!" Chris said in his satisfied tone.

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Lindsay was up first, and began with no complaint, well, besides some nonsense about her life that nobody really listened to. While he was waiting, Edd was talking to Ted.

"So, does she always run her mouth like that?" Edd asked Ted. Ted shrugged his shoulders.

"Beats me. I just kissed her last night, so I'm not a encyclopedia on her." Ted responded.

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"Alright, that's ten! Lindsay sets the standard.....You can come down now." Chris said with a somewhat disapointed tone.

"Woohoo!" Lindsay cheered. Unfortunetly, this slight movement caused the rope to snap, and in this process, ripped her skirt off to reveal her underwear. And in this event, caused Ted to go bug-eyed. Ted then shielded Ed's eyes with his hand.

*Confessional*

Ted: Okay, I have to say it.......that....was.....AWESOME!

Lindsay: Wow....ha, all that on national TV.....

*Cutback*

"Looks like Lindsay just gained a couple extra fans." Chris laughed. Ted was too busy shielding Ed's eyes to punch Chris.

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"Let's go Double D. Win the game!" Ed cheered. Edd was busy trying focus on keeping his blood in his body and not in his head.

"I hope this is legal Mr. McLean!" Edd threatened.

"So sue me!" Chris said jokingly. Chris pulled a lever and the rope pulled Edd up in the air on the rope.

"This is getting quite dizzy!" Edd called down. Ed began jumping up and down.

As Edd sat up in the air, it became clear he was ready to throw up. Edd covered his mouth, and puke came leaking from his mouth, combined with the blood from his gap in his teeth.

*Confessional*

Edd: Okay...This has gotten quite disgusting....

*Cutback*

Finally, after 9 minutes, Edd inhaled from his disgust, and his body slipped through the rope and Edd fell to the ground.

"The Girls win again! And Double D wins a trip to the chiropractor!" Chris said as Edd groaned on the ground and the Girls celebrated.

"Just a little request, please tell that blonde girl to put some pants on! It makes us boys look like pervs and the girls look like lesbians." Brian complained. Ted nodded admittingly.

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"Hello Boys, and welcome to your second straight bonfire ceremony!" Chris said with a cheery tone despite the Boys having to boot someone off.

"The first marshmallow goes to....Brian,"

"Ed"

"Duncan."

Ted began shaking nervously, while Edd couldn't move because of the wheelchair he was in.

"The final marshmallow goes to...............................

Ted!"

Ted ran up and grabbed the marshmallow, while Edd began whining in his bandages over his mouth.

"Bye Double D." Ed said sadly as he pushed Edd down the Dock Of Shame. Suddenly, while Ed was pushing Edd onto the boat, Chef jokingly started the boat, and it sent Edd and Ed into the water.

"Don't worry Double D, for I am Neptune!" Ed said happily. Ed then dove into the water to find Edd.

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A/N: Yeah, I realize this chapter had a little too many mature references, but I couldn't resist putting everything in here!

ALL REVIEWS ARE GLADLY EXCEPTED BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY!


	45. Broken Back Mountain

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the campers were put through some of the freakest torture stuff the producers could think of. Such as, the wrecking ball to the groin, pulling a grimy key out of the toilet, and worst of all, drinking lice out of a glass. The final two were either Double D or Lindsay to win for their team. Although she completely embarrassed herself in front of national television, it was Lindsay who won the challenge for the girls

Now get ready for the ole' west edition, of Total.....Drama....ACTION!

Chapter 45

Broken Back Mountain

Ted was busy shoving candy into Ed's mouth to prevent depression because of Edd leaving.

*Confessional*

Ted: I heard in a book you can prevent depression from candy....or was that yoga?

Ed: DOUBLE D!!!

*Cutback*

As Ted poured it into Ed's mouth, Brian walked in and didn't say anything.

"I don't even want to know." Brian said as he walked away.

"What's his problem?" Ted asked Ed.

"Maybe Brian didn't take his pills. My mom is like that before she takes her pills." Ed suggested. Ted looked at Ed as if he was an alien.

*Confessional*

Ted: Even though he's my friend, I still have the right to be creeped out.

*Cutback*

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"Hello campers, and say goodbye to everyone that's you friend here, because the first order of business is that every camper is for themselves!" Chris stated.

*Confessional*

Jenny: Finally I get to go on my own and not deal with Lindsay or Courtney. Now it's just me going solo.

Ted: I don't know if I'm happy, or if I'm sad, but with no assistance to keep me afloat, I've got to fend for myself to win this thing!

*Cutback*

"Next order of business your challenge today will involve pulling off a classic Western act of robbery, a train robbery." Chris said with a grin. Ted though for a minute about how this was legal.

*Confessional*

Ted: For a second, this sounded illegal....

*Cutback*

"You will all be supplied with a horse, all robbery equipment, a lasso and best of all, if you win, you also win ammunity at tonights bonfire. If I where you, this sounds like a great deal.....And that's because it is!" Chris laughed.

*Confessional*

Ed: This is ganna remind me of how the aliens attacked the subway station in "Square Dancers From The Outer Reaches"!

*Cutback*

"Now, find your horses and we'll get started." Chris said. Suddenly, everyone became confused.

"What do you mean by, "find our horses"?" Heather asked. Chris laughed.

"Oh yeah, forgot to tell to, we didn't have the budget to bring the horses here. It was considered animal abuse to move them here, and we didn't want to get sued by WWF, we've already got a lawsuit being fended off from Toho." Chris said glaring at Ed and Ted.

"I knew they'd do that. See, now I'm a genius." Brian said acting like everyone was stupid.

*Confessional*

Ted: Okay fine, I did infringe designment rights, but shouldn't that be A.K.A Cartoon's business , because they made Ed's show......Whoops, just broke the fourth wall.....

Lindsay:....Why did I come in here anyway?

Ed: I don't care, as long as I got to be a MONSTER.....that was fine with me that there's a monkey suit on TDA.

*Cutback*

"I was I was saying before I was interupted,", Chris said looking over at Heather, "Go find your steeds!"

*Cutback*

Ted: Go find your steeds? *Falls on the floor laughing.*

Ed: Ha ha, he said steeds.

Lindsay: Ha, a steed.......What's a steed?

*Cutback*

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"Jeez, finding this horse is as hard as trying to find Grover when I was a guest star on Sesame Street." Brian remarked.

*Cutaway*

Brian: Grover! God, found everyone and he's the only one I can't find.

Grover then flies through the air behind Brian.

Grover: You cant find Super Grover little puppy!

Brian: I AM NOT A PUPPY!

*Cutaway ends.*

"Hey did I just do that on TDA? Didn't realize I could do that on this."

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Ted was busy finding his horse, he ran into Lindsay looking for her horse.

"Hello my little Linds! Looking for your..."steed"?" Ted laughed.

"No, I'm looking for my skin care bottle. I remember dropping it here a few days ago." Lindsay responded without even looking at Ted. Ted scowled and looked at the camera with the same scowl.

*Confessional*

Ted: You have to wonder, did she get dropped on her head as a baby. I mean, I still love her, no question, but you just have to wonder....

*Cutback*

"Is this it?" Ted asked picking up a small bottle.

"Yeah! Thanks Ted!" Lindsay cheered and then hugged Ted. Ted smiled to this occurence.

"You actually got my name right!" Ted exclaimed in joy.

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On the other part of the island, Ed had already found his horse.

"Now, what did Chris say we should do when we get the horsey? Oh yeah, bring them to camp!" Ed remembered. Ed, in an act of stupidity, slapped the horse in the buttocks, the horse reared up, and Ed then grabbed onto the horse's tail as it ran off, while Ed was dragged in the dirt.

"I'm a cowboy, bang bang!" Ed said without a care as he and his horse passed by Heather.

"Weirdo." Heather muttered as Ed rode away.

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A/N: I just love writing this story, because I feel energized when I write and then read my genius.

REVIEWS ARE ACCEPTED FROM ANY HOBO OR MEMBER!


	46. Wild, Wild East

Chapter 46

Wild, Wild East

"Alright, now that you have your horses, proceed to the set to start your challenge. I'll be there to explain the challenge." Chris said.

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As all the camper arrived, Chris rode in on a horse.

"Hello fellow cowpokes, and welcome to todays old west challenge!" Chris greeted in an old west accent. As if on que, a train rushed by behind Chris.

"Your challenge is to succesfully rob a gold train." Chris started.

"Oh, do we get to keep the money we get?" Lindsay asked giddily.

"Uh, no. Whoever has the most gold coins robbed at the end of the challenge, wins the challenge and the afformentioned immunity. Whoever has the least amount of coins must immediatly walk the Dock Of Shame and ride the Boat Of Losers home." Chris finished. Chef then threw the afformentioned supplied gear to the campers.

As Ed was putting his lasso on his supplied belt-buckle, Ted was showing Ed his fedora.

"Oh, you look like Indiana Jones Ted!" Ed commented. Ted laughed.

"Got that right!" Ted agreed.

Right after this was said, everyone rode of to rob the train. Ted then hit himself on the head.

"Sh.....shoot." Ted corrected. Ted then got onto his horse, slapped it's rear end and rode off.

"Come on Ed!" Ted hollered as he rode away.

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While the two ding-dongs dragged along, Brian was busy boarding the train.

_Hopefully this'll work,_ Brian thought to himself. Brian then put part of his lasso in his mouth, and threw the other part onto one of the parts of the caboose.

"Wow, that actually worked!" Brian said in amazement. Brian then smung to the caboose.

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Ted on the other hand, was riding along the side of the train, when his horse becam spooked.

"C'mon you dumb old horse, if we're going to win you have to brave as I am!" Ted complained. Ted, with his computer mind and all, calculated a launch time, and then rocketed over to the side, but then landed in a coal car.

*Confessional*

Ted:*Cough* That wasn't what I had in mind.

*Cutback*

Ted looked up from the coal, and then ventured forward on top of the train moving the other way.

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Ed was riding on his horse, and was quickly approaching the train. As Ed rode, Ed began babbling to himself.

"Home on the range, this is just like home." Ed mumbled randomly. Ed suddenly rode up beside Heather.

"Oh hi....um, I want to say your name is Hanna?" Ed asked.

"My name is Heather, and in case you didn't know, I don't talk to weirdos, especially ones with no chins." Heather nastily remarked. As Heather rode away, Ed rubbed where his chin was supposed to be with a scowl. Ed then pulled on his horse's hair, and the horse began galloping at such a fast pace, Ed and his horse were a blur.

"Hey Heather, is this godspeed or what?" Ed asked he passed Heather. Ed's horse then sped past Brian on the train, then Ted, and eventually, Ed was at the front of the train.

"HURRAY! Thanks Mr. Whimphole!" Ed said to his horse. The horse, deciding it had enough from Ed's stupidity, then bucked up and then rode across the track in front of the train, and Ed fell off and then landed on the front ornament with his jacket, which then pinned him to it.

"Uh oh, here we go." Ed said annoyed.

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"HELP! Ted, I'm stuck!" Ed called over the rumble of the train. Ted noticed and had to consider.

_Hm, if I go after him, I won't get my gold, but if I don't Ed won't get his gold, _Ted thought.

_Wait a minute, I'm a robot. I can just zoom over there and back, _Ted realized.

Ted then began to bolt to the front of the train, when Ted tripped on the coal car again, and then crashed into the conductor car.

"Oh jeez." Ted said with concern as he checked his circuits. His boosters were a wreck, and pretty much everything in his system was damaged. Ted, trying to save Ed, tried stopping the train, the brake lever broke off.

"GAHH!!" Ted yelled as he held the broken lever in his hand. Ted looked around for something to use, when he climbed out to the roof of the conductor car.

"I'm coming Ed!" Ted yelled over the wind blowing in Ted's face.

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Meanwhile, Brian was bagging some of the golden coins he had obtained.

"Alright, two bags will do. I should be prepared for the worst, not like that time Peter forgot his underwear on our family vacation." Brian remarked.

*Cutaway*

The Griffin famiy is in the car, when Peter suddenly farts, but then his eyes bulge.

Peter: Oh.....crap.......

*Cutaway ends*

As Brian was walking back he realized....

"HOW THE HELL DO WE GET OFF?!" Brian exclaimed as the train whislted down. As Brian was walking, he learned to never walk on a train, because suddenly, a flying boulder hit him, causing him to trip, and drop one of his bags off the train.

"Crap, like I said, always good to be prepared." Brian concluded as he watched the bag fly off the train......

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...and right into the arms of the clueless Lindsay.

"Wow, I didn't even need to anything!" Lindsay remarked.

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At the front of the train, Ted was on top of the engine of the train reaching his arm out to Ed. As Ed grabbed his hand, Ed swung Ted down to where he was, dangling above the train tracks.

"Ed! You idiot!" Ted remarked. As Ted tried to climb back up to the roof of the train, Ed's jacket began slipping off the ornament. Ted and Ed realized this, and began panicing.

*Confessional*

Ted: At that point, I embraced the thought of death.

Ed: It was pretty scary to think I was twelve inches from death.

*Cutback*

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Meanwhile, Jenny was easily boosting over the train to the gold coin car.

*Confessional*

Jenny: After a few minutes I realized, why do I need a horse to do this?

*Cutback*

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As Ed and Ted continued to slip closer and closer to death, Ted suddenly got an idea (How he did, I don't know seeing as he was 6 inches from "death")

"Ed, give me your cheese!" Ted requested. Ed shook his head with a scared face.

"Ed, if you don't give me Sheldon Jr, we're both GOING TO DIE!" Ted yelled. Ed reluctantly handed Ted Sheldon Jr, and Ted stuck it to his foot.

"Hopefully this should work." Ted said to Ed confidently. Suddenly, Ed's jacket had a hole protruded through because of the ornament, which then caused Ed's jacket to slip off, and Ted and Ed fell, and because the cheese was so old and hard, it acted as a stopper, and it completely flipped the train straight up, and then it slammed down on top of Ted, Ed, Brian, and Jenny, all who were on the train. When the train flipped however, the gold flew from the car, and then dropped in a pile a mile away. While the four who were under the train got up and out of the cars they got confined to, Gwen, Duncan,Courtney, and Lindsay all rode to the free gold a mile away.

"Oh..." Ted began as he saw the others going after the coins.

"Crap!" Brian finished at the other side of the train. Jenny, who still had her boosters, bolted off with Brian, and while she passed, Ted grabbed onto her pigtail and rode off along with Ed to the coins.

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As soon as the four got to the coins, about only three bagfuls were left. While Ted clammered for coins for him and Ed, Jenny easily got about 2/3 of the coins, while Brian still had his original bag and a few extra coins.

"Alright, hopefully this'll be enough." Ted panted while holding up 6 coins for him and Ed.

"One more and you'd have seven." Ed remarked with a smile. Ted looked at Ed with a confused face. After taking all the coins, there was only one coin left.

A few minutes later, Heather arrived with a slight feeling of surprise when she saw only when coin.

"Are you kidding? One piece of gold?" Heather asked angrily. For some reason, to Jenny, Heather began sounding more and more like a spoild brat.

_Because she is one,_ Jenny concluded to herself with a smile.

"Fortunetly, yes." Gwen answered. Ted laughed.

"Looks like you got the short end of the deal, eh Heather?" Ted joked.

"And, it looks like Heather is leaving this week." Chris said walking from nowhere.

"You can't be serious?" Heather asked angrily. Chris smiled with a delight.

"I'm not. Chef, bring Heather to the Boat Of Losers." Chris requested. Then, just to have some fun, Jenny shot a rope onto Heather's hands and tied her up.

"Ha, I just wanted to do that all this time!" Jenny laughed with enjoyment.

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A/N: Yeah, abrupt end, but how could I have ended it? No bonfire ceremony, no rightful ending.

Yep, that demon Heather is finally gone, although she didn't do much.

Now, 8 campers are left to win the 1 Million!


	47. The DeTarded

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the last nine campers were challenged to rob a train for it's gold loot. There were winners, there was a loser, and there was one dumb camper that threw a whole train upside down!

This week, instead of focusing on torturing our current campers, we'll shift our attention to the eliminated campers at _La Playa De Loser, _the place where the eliminated campers go after the Dock Of Shame.

Get ready for a very special after elimination edition of Total....Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 47

The De-Tarded

While it seemed practically miserable at Camp Wawanakwa, the site of La Playa De Loser had an almost Hawiian atmosphere. All of the losers seemed to be content with what they had taken to do while in the loser's resort. Zim and Billy were discussing about their personal lives, Mr. Blik and Edd were lounging in the hot tub while Mr. Blik talked about his expierence on the show, Bessie (As usual) was reading a chapter of the Honeybee manual to Timmy, and Flapjack and Izzy were telling the rest about how they were nominated for Annie Awards, and they were showing their rewards.

"And we won awards for Best Child Actor and Best Reality TV Couple. It was fun, especially when everyone ran out when K'nuckles started cursing." Flapjack laughed.

On the other side of Playa De Loser, Billy and Zim were laughing about their jokes.

"Hey, did you ever notice that we have the same voices?" Billy asked. Zim then began to ponder.

"You know, I never thought about that. We do sound alike." Zim agreed with almost the same voice.

"And my dad sounds the same too. You know what they say, there's only so many voices in the world." Billy admitted. Zim laughed.

"You puny Earth stink amuse me." Zim laughed preceeding a long silence.

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A little while later, Edd was discussing his friend's and Izzy's friendship with Izzy herself.

"So, you've recently become friends with my pal Ed?" Edd asked with a smile.

"**Best** friend!" Izzy corrected with a maniacal smile.

"Well, I for one think this is a great oppurtuntiy for Ed to have more friends than me and Eddy of course." Edd laughed.

"Oh, you wanna know what I just noticed, all of you have "E" in your name! Maybe I'll change my name to Kaliedescope, E-Scope for short so we can all have E in are name! Actually, one of boyfriends a few years ago named Edison. It's just a shame I had to push him down that well before he could call the RCMP." Izzy laughed with a evil smile. Edd went wide-eyed and walked away.

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"So, as you can see, I've become quiet famous from just being on this show." Mr. Blik finished as he talked with Flapjack in the hot tub.

"Me too. I'm famous just because my show is still on." Flapjack laughed. Mr. Blik, taking this the wrong way and thinking it was an insult, then grabbed Flapjack's head and dunked it into the water.

"Let's see if your show's still around when I'm through with you!" Mr. Blik growled as he splashed Flapjack's head into the hot tub water.

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As night fell, Chris walked over to the fourteen losers.

"Hello members of La Playa De Loser. Tonight, you will all vote and decided who you want to vote off and bring here tonight." Chris announced. As soon as he said this Billy began naming people.

"Oh, I'd like to see the talking dog Zim was talking about!" Billy exclaimed.

"I would agree. That talking dog intrigues me." Zim agreed.

"Gentleman, this isn't "Who do you want to see?", it's who you want off the island. Brian is the only sophisticated person left on the island." Edd scolded.

"That's one vote Brian." Chris smiled. Edd frowned.

"Ha ha, very funny Chris." Edd laughed sarcastically.

"I wasn't trying to be funny." Chris admitted.

"Yes, I'd like to see this Brian you speak of!" Zim yelled.

"Yeah! What the green kid said!" Billy chimed in.

"Three votes Brian." Chris smirked. Edd went wide eyed.

"Stop saying Brian people! We want him to win!" Flapjack shouted.

"Four!"

"Everyone just shut up about....that talking dog." Mr. Blik said with a clever smile, thinking he outwitted Chris.

"You mean Brian?" Billy asked.

"Five votes to Brian!"

"Stop, cease, desist!" Edd requested.

"What you talkin' bout' earth chum?" Zim asked.

"I'm talking about how you two keep making people say "Brian"!" Edd yelled, and then covered his mouth.

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A few minutes later, Chris was pushing Brian over to the Dock Of Shame, while everyone stared in shock at what happened.

"Well, there was a twist ending. Tune in next week for the final seven edition of Total....Drama....ACTION!" Chris exclaimed as Brian sat with bug-eyes on the Boat Of Losers.

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A/N: Yeah, I know this was a little rushed, but I don't care. :)

ALL REVIEWS ARE LIKE JELLO TO MY SOUL, SQUISHY AND DELICIOUS. THEY ARE ACCEPTED!


	48. Dawn of Evil Tim

HELLO! HELLO! I'm finally able to make this chapter, and hopefully everyone will be able to see this, because this week I've got a Halloween themed episode for you!

ENJOY!

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Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the campers had to rob a train, dating back to the old west movies that...I've never watched in my life! Although it was tough for some, and easy for others, and someone almost died, Heather was the one who finally kicked the bucket in this competition, and now we're down to the final 7 campers! Now, who will go home this week on another exciting episode of

Total....Drama......ACTION!

Chapter 48

Dawn of Evil Tim

As the sun rose on another morning at Camp Wawanakwa, Ted and Ed snored together in the cabin they all stayed in.

"Ch....che...cheeseburger......" Ed muttered in his sleep. Ted meanwhile, was dreaming about.....stuff.....

"Big shrimp......block of wood...." Ted said half awake.

While the campers slept, a group of shadowy figures began slowly walking toward the cabin. Nobody noticed the creeping shadows until Ed snored himself awake.

"Oh, hiya guys!" Ed laughed as everybody groaned at Ed waking them up again.

*Confessional*

Courtney: Great, the third time this week he's woken us up early.

Ed: Hey, if I could control my sleep, I'd wake up every morning at 10 a.m.

*Cutback*

"Ed, do you think you could let us sleep?" Courtney said groggily and frustrated. Ed smiled and laughed.

"But what about the peanut gallery outside?" Ed asked, confused.

"Peanut gallery?" Ted said surprised. Ted bolted to the window and saw the slow moving figures walking towards the cabin with their arms outstrecthed.

"Well, what do you know?" Ted remarked. Courtney was curious to why there'd be anyone who'd want to be here besides them, Chef, and Chris.

"Let me see." Courtney said interestedly and pushed Ted to the side. Ted scowled and groaned.

"Pushy...." Ted muttered. While Courtney looked out the window, Ed began getting dressed....unfortunetly in front of everyone. Seeing all this excitement as discussion over the rabid fans of the show wanting to get pictures of them, Lindsay quickly got prepared to be seen as who she likes to be seen as (Or at least what everybody else sees her as...), a material girl.

"Do I look okay to you Teddy?" Lindsay asked Ted nervously. Ted smiled and laughed.

"Never better!" Ted answered.

_Teddy? _Jenny thought to herself after she heard Ted's nickname. Jenny held back a small giggle, and got up to get ready for the day.

Suddenly, Ed began to notice what the figures were saying.

"BRAINS! BRAINS!" Ed heard in the distance as he watched them walk closer.

"Oh! They want our large intellectual brains!" Ed concluded. Ted went bug-eyed, and realized what the people were.

"ED! You idiot, those aren't fans, THEY'RE ZOMBIES!" Ted screamed.

"IT'S THE CURSE OF EVIL TIM!" Ed yelled giddily. Everyone started panicing, except Ed and Courtney.

"Come on guys, they're probably just interns dressed up as zombies to trick us." Courtney reasoned. Ted started shivering, and grabbed Courtney and began yelling.

"DON'T YOU GET IT! THEY WANT OUR BRAINS! OUR PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL BRAINS!" Ted yelled while he ran around the cabin.

"Pf, since when have your brains been functional?" Courtney asked sarcastically. Out of nowhere, a TV screen popped down from the ceiling of the cabin. On it appeared Chris, who was smiling devilishy.

"Hello campers, or _survivors. _Today, as you have already figured out, you will be attempting to survive a zombie invasion. You will have to decide whether you'll stay in a group, or if you'll go solo." Chris explained. As soon as Chris mentioned groups, Ted grabbed Lindsay's hand slowly.

"Now, get running before the zombies get there." Chris ended. The TV then folded back into the ceiling.

"This is obviously a trick...." Courtney began, but then noticed everybody had left.

"Hey, wait up!" Courtney called to the rest of the campers.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, hopefully those'll hold up." Ted said confidently as he and Lindsay observed a heavily boarded door to the original Gopher cabin. Suddenly, there was banging at the door.

"Ted! It's me!" Ed called from the other side of the locked up door. Ted laughed at this plead and smiled.

"Sorry Ed, but this building is now only labeled to "Love Shack"." Ted said with a robotic eyebrow raised cleverly. Ed scowled and started whimpering.

"But Ted, Evil Tim's going to digest my brains with sporks! A SPORK TED!" Ed cried. Ted felt some sympathy, but then glanced over at Lindsay and changed his mind.

"Sorry Ed, you shoudl've started your relationship earlier." Ted said with a good feeling in his mind. Ted could begin hearing Ed sob.

"Tears and jeers may not be equal to cheers, but they'll never hurt my gears." Ted answered the sobs.

"Oh, I'm a cheerleader!" Lindsay included. Ted then laughed at the moment.

"Let's take note to that...." Ted said dreamily.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After he heard the long "No" to his question, Ed began sobbing as he walked into the middle of the campground.

*Confessional*

Ed: *Tearfully* WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?!

*Cutback*

Then, for some strange reason, Ed finally noticed the seemingly empty Killer Bass cabin on the other side of the campground. Luckily, he noticed right as the zombies were two feet in front of him.

"Evil Tim will make us pay!" Ed hollered as he ran towards the cabin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suddenly, while Jenny, Gwen, and Duncan were discussing the challenge plan, Ed burst through the door like a torpedo through a wall.

"Evil Tim is coming! We must hide!" Ed commanded. Suddenly, in an act of stupidity, Ed pushed Gwen and Duncan out of the cabin.

"Wait Ed, what are yoiu doing?!" Duncan asked confused as Ed slammed the door.

"Absolutely nothing Duncan...." Ed said proudly. Ed then locked the door. As Ed began stacking items on the doorknob, Jenny watched Ed with a feeling of accomplishment.

"You do realize you're an idiot right?" Jenny asked. Ed responded quickly with question.

"Sure thing Jimmy!" Ed said cheerly. Jenny's smile then turned to a scowl.

*Confessional*

Jenny:.........MY NAME IS JENNY! IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

*Cutback*

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Meanwhile, Courtney, with her know it all persona, sat (Or rather, stood) waiting for the moment she could win the challenge by exposing how fake it was.

_There's no way Chris actually got zombies. They don't even exsist, _Courtney thought to herself.

Then, after a few minutes of talking to herself, Courtney realized, what if they were zombies. Unfortunetly, she didn't have to question herself anymore, as the zombies were just 10 feet away. Courtney then got the feeling that she should run.

"Ted!" Courtney called as she ran directly to the Gopher Cabin, otherwise known as the "FOT" (Fortress of Ted, named BY Ted).

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A/N: I'll leave you there to give you a refreshing new chapter in this.

COMMENTS ARE ACCEPTED ONCE MORE!


	49. Day of the Hobos

Chapter 49

Day of the Hobos

A few minutes later, Courtney barged into the Gopher cabin. Apparently, Ted's idea of "resistance" was a bunch of pillows. Courtney, unfortunetly, had barged in while Ted and Lindsay were kissing. Courtney had a look of disgust, then a disapointed frown put on her face.

"I can think of SO many reasons why that's wrong...." Courtney interupted. Ted suddenly stopped and smiled embarassingly.

"Oh, hey Courtney! Say, ever heard of KNOCKING?!" Ted asked annoyed. Strangely, Lindsay's brain decided to kick in and join Ted's logic.

"Yeah Courtney, why can't just act like everyone else? I mean, everyone thinks you're a meany, and I think so too. I mean, you're always a goody two shoes and you can't think about anyone but yourself!" Lindsay agreed angrily. Ted and Courtney both stared dumbfoundetly at Lindsay's sudden outburst.

"I don't know where that came from.....but I don't want to know....." Ted said with bugged out eyes. Ted then walked back to the door to get his fortress set back up, this time with a chair and a lampshade.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And so it was written, Evil Tim would descend onto the Earth, and devour every human's brain, cranium by cranium, until only Evil Tim's army of Hades remained!" Ed said thematically as he explained the plot of Evil Tim.

"Yes, sounds_verrry_ interesting....." Jenny muttered boredly as she spun a penny across the wooden desk next to the grimy beds.

"Indeed, indeed." Ed agreed half-minded.

"Ed, could you be anymore gullible?" Jenny asked. Ed smiled.

"Yes I am!" Ed answered with a goofy smile. Suddenly, a zombie's hand burst through the screen door of the cabin.

"EVIL TIM HAS FOUND US!" Ed proclaimed cheerfully. Just as Ed said this, Jenny walked over slowly, activated her chainsaw, and sawed the zombie's hand, to which the zombie reacted with a painful groan.

"Hello zombie!" Ed said in a friendly tone as the zombie hand fell flat on the floor. Suddenly, another zombie burst through the back of the cabin.

"HOORAY!" Ed cheered as all the zombies began walking closer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Courtney watched the zombies attack the other cabin, Ted and Lindsay began where they left off. Then, Courtney realized....

"Where's Duncan?" Courtney asked worridly. Ted turned his head to answer while Lindsay still didn't notice she was kissing Ted's face, not his lips.

"Come to think of it, where's Gwen?" Ted asked.

"I don't care about her, I just want to know where Duncan is!" Courtney demanded, suddenly sounding angry. Lindsay finally noticed she wasn't kissing Ted, and decided to be included on teh conversation.

"Maybe they're at the day spa?" Lindsay offered. Ted frowned, and then smiled.

"What do you see in her?" Courtney asked. Suddenly, a zombie smashed it's hand through the window and grabbed Courtney's neck.

"GAH!!!!" Everyone in the cabin shrieked as the zombie attempted to pull Courtney out. Ted then ran over to help.

"DIE ZOMBIE!" Ted exclaimed as he took a lamp from the blockade and began swinging it. Unfortunetly, every swing hit Courtney in the head, face, or eye. Finally, the zombie's hand retracted.

"It's gone....I killed it...." Ted said will breathing heavily. Courtney scowled after this assesment.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." Courtney said in a huff. Suddenly, several zombies grabbed Courtney and pulled her outside.

"AH!!!" Ted and Lindsay screamed as Courtney dissapeared from sight. As the zombies' groaning became closer, Ted and Lindsay grabbed onto each other like two little girls.

"Well, I guess this is the best way to go. Die from brain loss." Ted said to a now teary Lindsay.

"I know! I just wish I could say goodbye to all my BFFs!" Lindsay cried. Suddenly, a whole herd of zombies engulfed the cabin.

"BRAINS! BRAINS! DO YOU HAVE BRAINS?!" The zombies asked in a dazed tone. As the zombies' groans overpowered the sound of Lindsay's sobbing, the zombies suddenly stopped and held out their hands as if begging.

"Change?" One of them asked politely. Ted suddenly was confused. They were asking for change?

"Linds, look! They're just hobos!" Ted said happily. Ted, after pushing through a pool of hobos, saw Courtney being held hand in hand with 2 other hobos.

"Hmmm, you smell like the inside of my mum's purse..." One of the hobos with buck teeth said with a grimy grin. Courtney suddenly became freaked out, and began yelling for help.

"Ted! Get these weirdos off me!" Courtney whined. Ted laughed, and then walked over to the Bass cabin, and noticed Ed swaying with the hobos.

"Hey Ted! Look, man with a hobo!" Ed said happily while he sang with the other hobos "_Why Can't We Be Friends?_". As Ted walked around some more, he found Jenny standing in front of a bunch of dazzled hobos.

"She's as shiny as that skyscraper I saw in New Yark." One of the hobos concluded.

"This isn't the acceptance I had in mind, but I'm good." Jenny stated happily. Ted then saw Chris walking over, along with Gwen and Duncan.

"Hello campers. I'm happy to announce the winners of today's challenge is.....Ted AND Lindsay!" Chris announced. Everyone groaned, while Ted and Lindsay both embraced each other and started cheering.

"AND....there will be not one, but TWO people voted off tonight. Come to the Bonfire and cast your votes, and vote for who you think should go, except Ted and Lindsay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello campers, and welcome to one of our last Bonfire ceremonies. As you all know, five of you will recieve marshmallows, while two of you will be going home. The first marshmallow goes to.....Ted."

"Lindsay"

"Ed"

"Jenny"

The only campers now were Courtney, Gwen, and Duncan. Nobody who had a marshmallow could honestly care less, while Courtney was practically biting her nails off.

"The final marshmallow goes to............."

"Just get on with it!"

"Courtney!"

As soon as her name was called, Courtney jumped up and started cheering, but then noticed everyone's glares following her, and she sat down once more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Duncan and Gwen left, Ted decided to fool with Courtney's mind.

"Aren't you going to go and say goodbye to your Duncan?" Ted asked sarcastically. Courtney then glared over at Ted.

"No, because I don't even like him...." Courtney claimed. Ted smirked and then a thoughtful look overcame his face.

"Soooo, wanna make out?" Ted asked randomly. Courtney suddenly looked at Ted surprised.

"What?" Courtney asked in a surprised tone.

Suddenly, Ted kissed Courtney in possibly the randomest act of all of Total Drama Action.

*Confessional*

Ted: FREAKING, SCORE!

*Cutback*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Alright, I finally got another episode in.

And now, only FIVE remain!


	50. 2009: A Space Oddity

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the campers had to survive a "zombie" invasion. From dissasemlbed arms, to kisses, to just plain stupidity, it was Ted and the dim-witted Lindsay who won the challenge, and Duncan and Gwen were both sent packing.

Now, with only five campers left, get ready for another pyschological episode of

Total....Drama......ACTION!

Chapter 50

2009: A Space Oddity

It was yet another calm morning had risen on the island as the final five campers slept. Unfortunetly, a loud crash woke everyone up.

"Nobody move! The Trekkies are here!" Ted shouted as he ran outside with a broom. Ted looked up, mouth agape, to see a giant spaceship looking vechicle standing in front of the campgrounds. Everyone else joined Ted outside, looking at the huge spaceship.

"Oh, that looks like the UFO from 'Attack of The Brain Splicers'!" Ed stated happily. Everyone looked at Ed confused, and then walked closer to the spaceship. All of the sudden, a giant monolith descended down, and then crashed onto Ed's feet. As Ed winced in pain, Chris then walked out of it as if it was a door.

"How did you...?" Ted asked as he looked at Chris and then the monolith.

"Hello campers," Chris said, ignoring Ted, "And welcome to today's challenge. Today, we'll be having a challenge of the Sci-Fi variety. Today, you'll be instructed to go inside, find the main computer, and activate the self-destruct....and then something about getting out was on my script, but that's up to you."

Ted seemed confused, as everyone else did. What would happen after the fact? How much time do they have to get out? It was all bery subtle, yet explained quite fully.

"......Aren't you ganna go?" Chris asked impatiently. Everyone then scrambled through a door into the ship.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ted and Ed, who took a longer path, were walking along a long, white corridor.

"This looks like the space station from 'Plan 85 From Monkey Island', an instant classic!" Ed stated. Ted rolled his eyes.

*Confessional*

Ted: Are comic books the only thing this guy reads?

*Cutback*

Suddenly, Ed spotted a large black door.

"Look!" Ed yelled, pointing at the aged door. Ted's mettalic eyebrows furrowed, and then he looked over at Ed with a bored look.

"Yeah, it's a door..." Ted answered unexicitingly.

"But it's a secret door!" Ed said happily. Ed then ran over to the door and ran inside. Ted sat for a moment, and tapped his foot.

"Woo hoo!" Ed hollered inside. Ted glanced at the door nervously, and then temptations took over him and he walked in.

Inside, it looked like a futuristic arcade. The walls were lined with camera, there was a fountain that seemed to be rusting, a pipe leaking from the ceiling that leaked oil (Ted's favorite), a large computer screen with a large, lighted and aged keyboard lined under the screen, and a screen with flashing lights that Ed was cheering at.

"Hey, what game are you playing?" Ted asked. Ed laughed, and then smiled.

"I don't know....." Ed laughed. Ted's attention was then focused to the keyboard.

"Hey, what's that?" Ted asked as he walked over to the keyboard. Ed, with his wimsical observations, made a theory in about two minutes.

"Maybe it's friendly." Ed suggested. Ted looked at Ed as if he was from Mars.

"You watch too many sci-fi movies...." Ted said as he began observing the keyboard. One key was covered with what looked like hot sauce. When Ted touched the key, it made a synthisizing sound.

"Woah! It sounds like a Men Without Hats song!" Ted said surprisingly. Ed smiled. He didn't have a clue who Men Without Hats was. Ted's eyes lit up when he had an idea.

"Hey Ed, follow my lead." Ted said, beginning to instruct Ed on the keyboard.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ready Ed?" Ted asked as Ed positioned himself in front of the keyboard.

"Alright, one....two....one two three!" Ted, with his great singing voice, began singing a song he knew all too well, and with the keyboard, he had to try and sing it.

_SSSSS-AAAAA-FFFF-EEEE-TTTTT-YYYY_

_Safe.....Dance!_

_We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind._

_Cause' your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine._

_Say, we can where we want to, a place they'll never find._

_And we can act like we came from OUT OF THIS WORLD!_

_Leave the real one far behind._

_And we can dance!_

Ed began clapping, and Ted began bowing, but then Ed started waving his hands, and he accidently hit Ted on the head, and Ted started twitching.

"Uh Ted?' Ed said nervously. Ted suddenly stopped, and his eyes turned red.

"......My mind is going...." Ted replied in a computerized sounding voice. Ed suddenly became very nervous.

".......I can feel it Ed....." Ted continued. Ed, at this point had already bolted out the door in sheer fright.

"COURTNEY! LINDSAY! JENNY!" Ed hollered as he ran through what looked like a never ending corridor.

....He was trapped....with a pyschopathic Ted, and no way out.....

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A/N: DUH DUN DUN!

And in case you weren't around in the 70's, this episode is a reference to the movie "2001: A Space Oddesey".

You should see it, great movie.

COMMENTS! PLEASE MAKE COMMENTS!


	51. Plan 5 From Wawanakwa

Chapter 51

Plan 5 From Wawanakwa

"Tell me again, why are we listening to this quarter-wit when we could just tear down the wall? This is obviously a just a set!" Courtney said angrily. Jenny groaned as she and Courtney followed Lindsay, who blindly went in every direction.

"Courtney....please....shut up!" Jenny groaned annoyed.

"Look, we've been here five times already!" Courtney complained. This time Lindsay groaned along with Jenny.

"I can't help it. This place is really big!" Lindsay whined. Courtney rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Ed came running around the corner, and he smacked into Lindsay, and both of them fell to the floor.

"....Where am I?" Lindsay said dazed and confused. Ed got back up and began yelling.

"Guys, TEDS CRAZY!" Ed explained in a sob.

"Since when has he been sane?" Courtney asked. Courtney then laughed at her own joke.

"Please will you help him?!" Ed pleaded. Jenny sighed.

"Fine, but remind me to regret it afterwords..." Jenny agreed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After he led the girls to the large door, Ed kicked the door open and ran in.

"Hey Ted!" Ed greeted cheerfully. As the rest of the campers walked in, Ted began talking in the computerized voice Ed had become frightened of.

"I am no longer Ted, I am now a mere figment of his original organism..." Ted replied.

"Quack!" Ed muttered, confused.

"Idiot." Jenny muttered as Ed watched Ted's red eyes.

"What have you done Ed?" Ted asked in the same voice.

"I feel sullied...." Ted continued. Ed then hid behind Jenny, who looked at Ted non-chalantly.

"Come on Ted, snap out it.." Jenny commanded as she began snapping his finger in front of Ted. Ted continued his thousand mile stare, and then suddenly grabbed Jenny's arm and threw her through the wall. Everyone then started screaming and ran out and into the hallway.

"What the heck are we going to do with this idiot who turned pyschopath in a matter of seconds?" Courtney whispered. Ed decided to throw in his input.

"Oh, let's bake a pie and hit me with it!" Ed added.

"Okay, does anybody have any **useful** input?" Courtney asked again.

"How should we know, you're friends with a pyschopath." Lindsay added. Courtney sighed.

"I'm not friends with him." Courtney answered. Then, everyone noticed Jenny was standing over them.

"Thanks for helping me..." Jenny said sarcastically. Suddenly, everybody turned around to see Ted.

"We must attack!" Ed yelled. Ed, in sheer act of stupidity, grabbed Lindsay and then threw her at Ted. Ted was then thrown to the ground, and his eyes went blank and expressionless.

"Ow..." Lindsay whined from 2 feet over as she rubbed her sore rump. Obviously, Ed ran over to Ted to check on him.

"Ted, are your in there?" Ed asked as he inspected Ted's blank eyes. Suddenly, Ted rose quickly and Ed fell to the ground.

"What, who where?! Oh, hi Ed." Ted greeted. Ed smiled and hugged Ted.

"Ted! We all missed you!" Ed cheered.

"Ha, depends on what you mean by missed." Courtney added.

"Okay, this is all fine and nice, but what about the challenge. We're supposed to find the control panel and blow this thing up, but how are we supposed to when this place is a maze?" Jenny asked.

Then, the ditzy Lindsay noticed a small red button on Ted's back that read "SELF DESTRUCT, STUPID!".

"What's that on your back Ned?" Lindsay asked. Ted then felt dejected once more.

"Ted, Lindsay. My name is Ted." Ted corrected. Jenny then ran over and saw the button.

"Wait, how is it that the self destruct to the...." Jenny was about to ask, when she saw a long wire connected to the control panel to the button.

"The executives must've put that on my back while you guys were gone." Ted concluded.

"Ted, you're back to normal!" Lindsay finally realized. Everyone looked at Lindsay, and then put their attention back to the task at hand.

"Well, that means we just press the button, get it off your back, and then run out!" Jenny strategized.

"Alright, then lets go!" Ted yelled eagerly, and he pressed the button, which caused a flashing light to activate and a balring siren came on. Everyone except Ted and Jenny covered their ears, to which they both look around, confused.

"Why are they covering their ears?" Ted asked. Jenny shrugged her shoulders, and then began trying to pry the button off.

"It won't come off!" Jenny yelled. Ted then went wide eyed.

"What!? Try again!" Ted asked. Jenny began pulling again, and it wouldn't budge.

"DETONATION IN 5 MINUTES." The intercom blared over the siren.

"What are going to do?!" Ed yelled over the defeaning siren.

"We're going to have to.....leave Ted here...." Jenny answered. Everyone gasped, and then began pondering whether to leave Ted there.

"Well, I'd rather leave alive then die because of this nit-wit!" Courtney answered. Ted looked over to Ed, who nudged, as did Lindsay when he glanced at her.

"Fine, I guess I'll die alone...." Ted said dejectingly. Just before anyone could feel sorry for Ted, Courtney ran off by herself.

"We're going to miss you Ted!" Both and Ed and Lindsay said sadly as they hugged Ted. Ted's eyes began to water, and then Ted began wheeping.

"I'M GANNA MISS YOU TOO!" Ted began crying. As everyone began walking away, Ted sat down and began feeling sorry for himself.

"Well, at least this is the best way to go out, on television programming." Ted concluded, trying to cheer himself up. Then, Ted sat down, and the wire and button came right off. Ted turned around, and suddenly noticed the dislodged button.

"YAY! I'm free!" Ted yelled happily. Ted then blasted through the hallway with his boosters, but then his boosters tripped up because of the damage done to them two challenges ago, and he crashed into a wall.

"Great, looks like speed is out." Ted muttered. Ted then noticed a hatch door....only problem was it was 2 stories up.

"Oh great." Ted muttered. Ted, with all his strength, fired up the last of his boosters, and then rocketed up to the the hatch.

Then, a strange chain reaction occured.....

As Ted got up to the hatch, the ship's self destruct then caused it to blast apart, which in turned shot Ted out, and with the damage done to Ted's boosters too critical, he did a barrel roll into the air with flames trailing him.

"AH!!!!" Ted yelled as he fell like a rock into the dirt of the island below.

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"Is he okay?"

"I can do CPR!"

"He's a robot, he doesn't breath."

"I was a robot bounty hunter once!"

Ted woke up to the four campers in front of him.

"Oh hey guys, what's going on!" Ted greeted. Ted then noticed his tattered body.

"Oh, that ain't good....." Ted concluded groggily. Ed nodded in agreement.

"Well, at least it's better than dying..." Ted said somewhat happily. Then, in the worst timing possible, Chris appeared.

"Well, this is tragic and all, but we still mucho time left in the episode! Vote for the camper you want to see off this show, and I'll see you at Bonfire." Chris interupted. After this statement, everyone, except the battered Ted frowned at Chris.

"What? A reality show host's got to make a living." Chris defended.

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As everyone sat down (Except for Ted, who was being held by Ed on his chest), and were eager to see who would go home this week.

"Welcome to another bonfire meeting. As you all know, there are only 4 marshmallows tonight, and however doesn't recieve one will have to walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never come back...ever." Chris stated once again.

"The first marshmallow goes to.....Jenny."

"Courtney,"

"Lindsay"

Right as Lindsay got her marshmallow, both Ted and Ed realised they were about to be parted.

*Confessional*

Ted: Look, I love that Big Lug, but......

*Cutback*

"Ted"

Ted the fell to the ground, dropped by Ed. Ed the began crying, and nobody really showed sympathy towards it.

*Confessional*

Courtney: Who cares if he got eliminated? He got brough back into the game unfairly, so he gets what he deserves.

*Cutback*

Ted, who was covered in sand, was too much in pain to say goodbye at Ed walked onto the Boat of Losers and waved goodbye to the island he played his heart out on. As he rode away, Lindsay and Jenny helped lift Ted up.

"I can't believe I did that....I voted Ed off the island.....My only friend...." Ted said sadly.

"Aw, we're still your friends Teddy." Lindsay stated. Ted smiled.

"I guess....that is true....." Ted muttered with a small smile.

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A/N: Yes, the Big Lug, Ed is out once more.

And now....ONLY FOUR REMAIN!

COMMENTS! I NEED MA COMMENTS!


	52. Kung Fu Peoples

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the campers had to detonate a spaceship (Really just a prop) in the middle of the campsite. There was friendship, there was insanity, there was drama, and there was....dancing. In the end, the campers sent the big guy Ed home because of him being the cause of Ted's sudden insanity.

And this week, we're bent on torturing these last four campers until their little teenager minds can't take it anymore! All that and more on this new episode of Total....Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 52

Kung Fu Peoples

It was early morning, and the four bummed out campers sat eating what would be considered garbage at a prison.

"I think I found a screw in mine." Courtney muttered as she picked a screw out from the yellow gunk in front of her.

"Give me that." Ted said as he swiped it from her hands and ate it. As Ted chewed the small screw, Lindsay started eating into her serving as well.

"I can't believe Ed is off the show." Lindsay said eliminating the short silence.

"I know. The show feels like an empty stomach without him." Ted sighed. Right as Ted said this, Lindsay's eyes went wide as she put a forkful of the yellow mush in her mouth.

"I think there's a rock in mine..." Lindsay interupted. Ted strangely became interested and ran over. Then, Lindsay spit out a large, squirming, brown cockroach onto the table.

"AHHH!!!!" Both Ted and Lindsay screamed as they pointed randomly at the still alive cockroach. Both Courtney and Jenny looked at each and rolled their eyes. Ted then grabbed the cockroach and threw it against the wall, and then he fired a high concentration beam at it, and it blew the cockroach into six, green pieces.

"Okay.......it's gone....." Ted said as he breathed in and out. Chris then walked in, and cringed when he saw the dissasembled cockroach.

"Hello campers! Today, instead of your fabulous host torturing you, Chef Hatchet will be the one giving the orders." Chris announced, retaining his smile (And his appetite). Chef Hatchet then walked in wearing a camo shirt that you could've bought at a Halloween store.

"Okay you pink bellies, I want to see you at the beach at o'seven hundred, and be ready to work!" Chef Hatchet commanded. Everyone abid, except Ted, who stood with a grin.

"Really?....I'm sorry, but really?" Ted scoffed. Chef walked over with a smile, took out a hammer, and nailed him in the head with the silver tool.

"If any of you give me an arguement like that, you'll be much worse off!" Chef yelled. As Lindsay went to check on Ted's now even worse state, Jenny and Courtney looked away from each other and began their own process of thinking.

"Are you okay Teddy?" Lindsay asked as she checked Ted, who lay with a battered smile.

"Yes waiter I'd like steak sauce on my eggs...." Ted muttered groggily.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At "o'seven hundred", the four campers stood on the beach and waited for Chef Hatchet's first order. As everyone stood, Chef Hatchet began drinking a bottles of water. Everyone was confused at first, and sat still.

But soon, everyone began hankering a drink in the sweltering sun. Ted glanced over at Jenny, who was fairing just as well as he was. Then, Lindsay began to walk over to Chef, when Ted stopped her and titled his head over to her.

"Don't go over there. He's trying to trick us." Ted whispered. Lindsay seemed to understand clearly, and she then stood with Ted once more.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later, the sun was it's highest in the sky, and all of the campers now hankered for water.

"Don't.....give into.....temptation...." Ted whispered to Lindsay. Lindsay didn't reply, but instead began walking over. Ted's eyes then bulged.

"Lindsay what are you doing!" Ted whispered angrily.

"Sorry Teddy." Lindsay said disappointingly as she grabbed a bottle of water. Chef Hatchet then rose from his chair and frowned.

"That....was your first test. As you can see, you all passed.....except for the blonde, who will be pre-beta minus of the next test!" Chef scolded, to which Lindsay sunk her head sadly. Ted stood with a straight face, and then began trying to comfort Lindsay.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later, the campers stood in the woods. Chef Hatchet then arrived with five long sticks, and a vacant bird's nest.

"Your next test, is the montage test." Chef stated. Chef, with all of his might, tossed the bird's nest into the top of a tree.

"Now.....go get it!" Chef yelled to Lindsay. Everyone watched Lindsay with nervous eyes as she walked over to the base of the large tree. Lindsay stared at the tree for about two minutes with a pondered look on her face.

"Take your time...." Chef Hatchet muttered. Lindsay then noticed the tree branches on the side. Lindsay then attempted to climb the tree branches to the top.

After getting up at least ten feet, the twig she grabbed onto snapped, and she fell down and onto the ground. Ted then ran over with a worried look on his face.

Then Courtney attempted it, and couldn't make it at least 5 feet when she slid down.

Then Jenny hit a log hanging off the side as she zoomed up.....

and Ted fell off right as he began....

"This is going to be a long day." Chef muttered in annoyed tone. Chef then threw the four sticks to the campers. Unfortunetly, one of them hit Lindsay in the head and knocked her over. Ted then sighed and slapped his face. Then, Chef began something that even today the campers call "Torture as you've never heard it"......

Chef Hatchet.....began singing.....

_Let's get down to business,_

_to gain your chest hair._

_Did they send me daughters?_

_When I asked for sons._

_You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,_

_but you can bet before we're through,_

_Mister I'll make a man out of you._

_Tranquel as a forest,_

_but a fire within._

_Once you find your center,_

_you are sure to win._

_You're a spineless, pail, pathetic lot._

_And you haven't got a clue._

_Some how I'll make a man out of you!_

"I'm never ganna catch my breath!"

"Say goodbye to those who knew me."

"Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym."

"This guys got us scared to death!"

"Could this day get anymore gloomy?"

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!"

_BE A MAN!_

_You must be swift as a coursing river._

_BE A MAN!_

_With all the force of a great typhoon._

_BE A MAN!_

_With all the strength of a raging fire,_

_mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

_You're time is almost over,_

_and you've learned a thing._

_It's not mere torture,_

_but the essentials to win!_

_If you can't take the heat, of the montage,_

_then walk the dock, go home, you're threw._

_How could I make a man out you?_

_BE A MAN!_

_You must be swift as coursing river._

_BE A MAN!_

_With all the strength of a great typhoon._

_BE A MAN!_

_With all the strength of a raging fire,_

_mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

_BE A MAN!_

_You must be swift as a coursing river._

_"_Oh my gosh she's doing it!"

_BE A MAN!_

_With all the force of a great typhoon._

"You're almost there!"

_BE A MAN! _

_With all the strength of a raging fire._

"You go girl!"

_Mysterious as the dark side of THE MOON!_

"Lindsay wins the second test!" Chef announced. Ted started jumping up and down, while Lindsay celebrated in the very top of the tree. Suddenly, Lindsay's weight gave in (Which is surprising, considering she looks as light as a twig), and she fell out of the tree once more...

....but Ted caught and Lindsay and laughed in the face of Chef.

"Hatchet, I think you can officially call us men ladies." Ted said with a confident grin.

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A/N: AH! Feels great to type this chapter. Like before, I enjoy typing this story, and hopefully you enjoy this chapter!

COMMENTS! I'M IN A DROUGHT OF COMMENTS AND I NEED E'M!


	53. Mortal Komedy

Chapter 53

Mortal Komedy

As the cheers died down, and Ted finally stopped yelling, Chef's face became stern once more and he began explaining the final test.

"Your final test....is to fight each other...." Chef was cut off by yet another one of Ted's jokes.

"IN MORTAL KOMBAT!" Ted joked in such a deep voice you couldn't tell if it was him. Chef glared at Ted, who smiled nervously, "Continue..."

"As I was saying, you will be fighting in a tournament style. The first round, and then the two winners of those two fights will advance onto the final round." Chef began. Ted looked around and thought about the strengths and weaknesses of everyone.

"The brackets will be formed as follow; whoever won the second test and one volunteer from the first test BESIDES the loser will fight each other." Chef stated, reading off a script. Ted looked at Lindsay with fearful eyes, knowing that either he or Jenny would completely ahnnilate her in a fight. As Chef acknowledged Lindsay as the winner of the second test, Ted pushed Courtney up front.

"Um, I volunteer..." Ted whispered, trying to imitate Courtney's voice to make Chef choose Courtney.

"Alright then. It'll be Courtney against Idiot #1, and Jenny versus Idiot #2." Chef announced. Ted started snickering.

"What are you laughing about?" Courtney asked. Ted finally burst out laughing.

"He called you two idiots......" Ted said while trying to hold back laughter. This time, Courtney, Jenny, AND Chef sighed.

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The stage was set, literally. A whole dojo appearing building was set up just for the challenge. Chef, with a huge mallet, smacked it against a gong, which rang loudly through the island (Which sounded like the Taco Bell commercials to Ted), and Chef threw two bamboo sticks to Lindsay and Courtney.

"Begin!" Chef Hatchet called. Courtney made the first move, who slashed her stick like a sword at Lindsay, who somehow blocked the blow and began to battle back. As Ted and Jenny stared in awe, Courtney seemingly regained control, and she started landing blow by blow with the stick, until Lindsay's stick snapped in half. As Lindsay just realized her stick was broken in half, Courtney pinned Lindsay to the wall, and Chef rang the gong again.

"The winner is Courtney! Jenny and Ted, you're up next!" Chef yelled. As Ted and Lindsay walked by each other, Ted winked confidentally at Lindsay, who gazed confused at Ted's back.

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As Chef rang the gong, Ted burst quickly, as he slammed his stick into Jenny's head. Jenny quickly recovered, and slashed her stick into Ted's side. Ted fought back, and clashed the stick with Jenny's. Both Ted and Jenny locked sticks for about 10 seconds, until both of them smacked them into theirs sides. Ted, in a dirty move, grabbed Jenny's pigtail booster, and swung her like a yo-yo and threw her into the large gong, which fell on top of here after impact. As Ted walked over to finish the job, Jenny burst out and pinned Ted to the ground.

"Any last words before I make a fool of you and your dorky girlfriend?" Jenny asked as she faced Ted nose to nose. Ted's mind then went into anger explosion, and Ted stabbed Jenny in the eye with the stick, and then pinned her to the ground.

"Ted wins the match!" Chef announced. Jenny groaned and walked over to where Lindsay was standing.

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Both Courtney and Ted were staring each other down. Both were enemies and wanted to beat each other, but Chef then said something that changed everything.

"Whoever loses will be automatically sent to the Dock of Shame....." Chef announced right as he rang the gong. Before Courtney could ask, "What?", Ted fought Courtney into a wall and confined her to that area. Courtney, in a attempt to fight back, started jabbing at Ted's stick. Every stab was blocked by wood, until Courtney made contact into Ted's neck, which shot him sky high into the air.

"Hm, I guess I won...." Courtney concluded quietly. Suddenly, Courtney glanced over to her stick with wide eyes and saw Ted balancing himself on her stick with his finger.

"Looking for someone, m'lady?" Ted said with a smirk. Ted then spun his stick into a wind turbine-like propeller and it tore Courtney's stick into pieces. Ted then pinned Courtney to the ground.

"Ted wins the challenge and.....Courtney is going home!" Chris said as he appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Courtney was walking down the dock, Ted ran down to her and got her attention.

"What do you want?" Courtney asked obnoxiously. Ted cleared his throat and sighed.

"Look, I known we've both hated each other since th beginning of the show, and I think we have much more in common then we think we do. So, I was wondering if we could put this all behind us and start over." Ted explained. As Ted explained, Courtney's feelings toward Ted began to soften, and Courtney actuall felt.....like accepting Ted.

"So, how about it?" Ted asked, holding out his hand. Instead of shaking hands, both Courtney and Ted hugged into each other and began kissing. As soon as they finished, it was quite obvious they were both finally capable to accept each other.

"Sure...why not...." Courtney whispered to Ted and Ted walked away. Ted smiled as he walked back to his remainin castmates.

"Ah, don't ya love teen.....robot love?" Chris asked sarcastically.

"Ted....you're one lucky bachelor...." Ted muttered to himself with a smirk.

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A/N: And now, it's down to 3 CAMPERS!

COMMENTS! PLEASE!


	54. Project Runaway

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

there were only four campers remaining in TDA, and the campers had to compete in three tests to see who the king of da dojo would be! In the end, Ted was the master of the dojo, and Courtney was sent packing in a fourth place finish.

Now, with only two weeks left in TDA, who will be the winner of TDA? The foxy ditz Lindsay? The loud mouthed, spunky robot Jenny, or the certificably insane but surprisingly strategic Ted?

Find out on this final three edition of Total......Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 54

Project Runaway

Another cheery day had begun it Camp Wawanakwa, and nobody was outside. This was most likely because of Ted and Lindsay kissing for the last 10 minutes, and Jenny was reading a fashion magazine, seeing as Jenny had decided to dig into Lindsay's suitcase in boredom the night before.

*Confessional*

Jenny: Let me tell you something, I don't see why Lindsay is even this far, let alone Ted! I seriously think someone is rigging the votes on this game.

*Cutback*

"I love you my little cupcake...." Ted said with a babyish tone in his voice. Lindsay giggled at Ted's googely voice.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: Okay, I know I should be focusing on winning, but how can I with Teddy's sense of humor? He's so cute and funny!

Ted: Like I said before, I'm a luckly bachelor. In fact, when I win this show, I'll make my own game show.

Lindsay: If I win, I'm going to buy all the cute outfits at that fashion clinic I was in 3 months ago!

Ted: "The Bachelor: Ted Edition". I can see it now!

Lindsay: Oh, or maybe I can go on a date with Ted! We've been talking about that for the past.......2 days!

Ted: All them girls would be lining up to be my girl. It's pure genius!

Jenny: If I win, I'm making sure that Chris is thrown into prison, Lindsay is put back into Kindergarten, and Ted....is an INSANE ASYLUM!

*Cutback*

All of the sudden, a red carpet smashed the cabin door down and Chris walked in wearing a ugly blue tuxedo with sunglasses.

"Hello campers, and welcome to the last week on TDA before the final episode! Today's challenge will involve the "passion for fashion" films. The films that show the story of a lonely designer who works his or her's way to the top." Chris announced.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: Oh yay! A fashion challenge is so my challenge!

Ted: Fashion?........Um.....wow....

*Cutback*

"You will have to make your own design, be able to wear it and pose for the runway camera. You will be supplied with material, and you will have 3 hours to make a design to wear." Chris explained. Lindsay seemed interested the entire time, while Jenny practically ignored Chris, and Ted sat next to Lindsay with a scared look. Chef then walked in with shreddings of grass, pieces of bark, and leaves.

"Now, begin!" Chris said as the three campers then ran over to the material and grabbed it, then ran back to their spots they were in and began working on whatever they were planning.

*Confessional*

Jenny: Seeing as I have all the knowledge of fashion in my mind, this is a pretty easy challenge for me. I don't think Ted and blondie can beat me this time.

Ted: Look, it's not that I can't design....it's just I've never done it.

*Cutback*

While Ted was busy stapling bark to leaves and grass, Lindsay seemed to know what she was doing, and was easily threading leaves and grass onto each other.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: I was pretty confident that sewing would at least hold a design together long enough to wear. I mean come on, you know how strong leaves are compared to that flimsy bark....Besides, bark is uncomfortable....

*Cutback*

As Lindsay was sewing, Jenny was observing her bark and grass, and her computer systems quickly analyzed a design style. Ted watched Jenny's actions, and could quickly tell she was cheating. Ted then hatched an idea that would surely eliminate Jenny.

"Hey Linds, I've got an idea. I'll help you with your project so we can eliminate Jenny." Ted whispered.

"But I thought Vinny was our friend." Lindsay replied.

"That's what she wants us to think. She takes us for idiots." Ted answered. Lindsay suddenly became angry at Jenny, and used her brain to comprehend that she'd need Ted's help to beat Jenny.

"Okay Teddy, let's start!" Lindsay answered. Ted smiled and grabbed his material, not remembering that he needed to make HIS design.

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A/N: Can someone please review? I need reviews, because I'm getting miserable without them!


	55. Total Eclipse of The Drama

Chapter 55

Total Eclipse of the Drama

About 3 hours into the first part of the challenge, Ted was busy frantically stapling Lindsay's final touches into place.

*Confessional*

Ted: Man, for a girl who claims she knows how to sew.......Lindsay sucks at it...

*Cutback*

Meanwhile, Jenny had just finished adding arm configurations to her dress made out of half he metallic body, and a bit of tree bark and grass.

"So, she's going to play like that eh?" Ted muttered. Ted then activated his drill, and put down his heat mask.

"Hey look, it's marshmallow moisturizer!" Ted yelled to Lindsay as he pointed into the distance. Lindsay, like a dog chasing a bone, ran into that direction. Ted chuckled and began adding modifications onto Lindsay's dress.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I didn't see any Ted. Just a grumpy guy who said 'Aren't you supposed to be back at the cabin?'." Lindsay said as she walked back. Ted, who had just finished the last touches on Lindsay's dress, chuckled and put his arm around Lindsay.

"Ah, well, while you were chasing an invisible likeness, I finished your design. How's that for loyalty my little Linds?" Ted answered. Lindsay smiled, but then her expression was replaced by confusion.

"But, weren't you supposed to make a design?" Lindsay asked. Ted's eyes went bug-eyed, and Ted blasted over to his barely begun design and began trying to work.

"Gotta move! Got to think! Got to move and think at the same time! THAT AIN'T SO HARD!" Ted said maniacally. Lindsay walked over, originally going to help, but then forget why she was there. Right as Ted was half done....

"Campers, your time to finish your projects is up! You will have 2 minutes to get ready and be at the showroom set in 3 minutes!" Chris announced. Ted started panicing, and then he ran into an outhouse with his design, while Jenny and Lindsay went elsewhere.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you expect much, because with three teens who probably don't even know the meaning of "fashion", it seems pretty obvious their design are going to suck." Chris stated to Chef as they waited for the campers to display their designs.

First was Jenny, who walked out with a dress, which the top was made of a grass tunic styled half, the bottom skirt which was made out of tree bark.

"Impressive, but let's see how it does against our piece de' resistance." Chris said with a devilish smirk as he pressed a button, and a small spark shot out and caused the tree bark to catch fire. Jenny, with an easy grin, shot up ten feet into the air on her spider walkers, and the bark was put out by a water hydrant attachment.

"I see you're persistent Miss Wakeman, and I like that." Chef concluded. Chris nodded slowly and waved for the next person.

Next walked in Lindsay, who's dress looked stylish enough with a leaf made dress with a grass made braid, but Ted had done something to it that not even Lindsay expected.

"That's it? I was honestly expecting more..." Chris criticised. Lindsay became nervous, and she was then sent rocketing toward the ceiling by a rocket pulpusion system set up by Ted. As she was sent flying back down Lindsay's dress then supported itself on the same spider walker system installed in Jenny's dress.

"Wow, I never remembered these!" Lindsay exclaimed. Jenny rolled her eyes, and Chris and Chef shrugged their shoulders and smiled.

Finally, it was Ted who was to come out. Chris and Chef looked around in confusion.

"Where's Ted?" Chris asked. Suddenly, Ted blasted into the showroom set on a out of control rocket booster and landed right onto the stage in front. Ted then jumped back up in a expertly sewn suit made of grass and leaves painted black. Then, Ted began strangely dancing, and then Ted activated his boosters once more, but because of his deffective boosters, Ted was sent firing right into Chef.

"ROCK THE CASBAH!" Ted yelled as Chef threw him into Lindsay.

"Well, seeing as basically all of you cheated, we'll have to give you scores 1-10. Whoever has the highest score is the winner of the challenge. Whoever has the lowest.....will immeadetly go to the Dock of Shame and never come back...." Chris explained.

"...Evar...." Ted added. Chris frowned at Ted stealing his line, and then began talking again.

"First, is the score for Lindsay." Chris began. Chef held up a "8", while Chris held up a "9".

"So, I got a 89?!" Lindsay asked excitingly. Jenny slapped her face and groaned.

"Don't you know basic math?! You got a 17, you idiot!" Jenny yelled.

"Next is Ted's score." Chris held up a "9", and Chef held up a "4".

"So....13...." Chris chuckled. Ted, surprisingly, sat with a smile.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: At that point, it almost felt like this was my fault....

*Cutback*

"Now, who wil go home? Ted....or...." Chris was cut off by a frusturated Jenny.

"JUST GET IT OVER WITH!" Jenny growled. Chris groaned, and then held up his score, as did Chef.

.....................

There scores were........a 10.......and a 6......

"Lindsay wins the fashion challenge!" Chris announced. Lindsay and Ted began to hug each other, when Chis cut into their celebration.

".....And Ted is going bye-bye." Chris ended. Ted and Lindsay then stopped cheering, and then started crying. This time, EVERYONE sighed.

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As Ted was leaving with tears in his eyes, Lindsay ran over to Ted before he left.

"Wait Teddy! It's my failt you're going home! You helped me the entire time, and I should be out!" Lindsay cried. Ted put his hand over Lindsay's mouth and then put his face to her face.

"Linds...."

"Yeah?"

"Please win for me....."

Then, in what seemed like the most cliche endings in history, Ted and Lindsay kissed each other, and this time didn't want to stop. As Ted left Lindsay's lips and walked to the Boat of Losers, Lindsay smiled and started waving.

"I'll win Teddy! I'll win for you and Ned and everyone else....except for Heather!" Lindsay called to Ted. Ted began to actually smile, and he began laughing.

"If only she knew how cute she was...." Ted said with a smile. Then, Ted stood frozen in fear......

....All around him....were frozen burrito packets.....

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Ted screamed as he rode into the distance with a boat of nightmares along with him.

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A/N: Yes, Ted is gone. Given the time he was given, it was too long for him to be in anyway.

And now, THE FINAL TWO! TUNE IN...IN ABOUT 3-4 DAYS FOR PART 1 OF THE FINAL EPISODE!

And.....COMMENTS! I REALLY NEED COMMENTS TO WRITE!


	56. It's the Final Showdown

....22 campers were here just 21 weeks ago, and that whole time, more and more were eliminated.

Through jumping off cliffs, to talent shows, to romances, to just plain stupidity, 22 campers battled it till' the end, and now, on this special episode, we will see the final two campers who got themselves here.

Lindsay, the foxiest...and dumbest camper on the show seemed to fit right in with a very lady loving Ted and his friend Ed, and Lindsay seemed to follow every step of the way throughout her and Ted's romance.

And Jenny, who has roughed it through this entire competition, and last week finally rid of her arch rival Ted. Jenny went from fighting intergalactic supervillians, to fighting 21 campers to the top of this competition.

Now, with just two campers left, both of them striving for victory, who will win the million dollar prize? Find out on this special, finale episode of.....

Total.......Drama.....ACTION!!

Chapter 56

It's The Final Showdown

It was the final day at camp. Tension had been raised, seeing as Ted was eliminated, taking away all innocence to the competition. It was now entirely serious.

Lindsay was the first to wake up, and the reason why Jenny was cranky. Lindsay was making a huge commotion about a note she found that was from Ted, only she didn't check who sent it in the first place.

"I wonder who it's from! Was it from you Jimmy?" Lindsay asked. Jenny groaned and smacked her face.

"First of all, IT'S JENNY! Second, why don't you read the letter?" Jenny suggested. Lindsay had a perplexed look on her face, and then she smiled.

"Oh! It's from Ted!" Lindsay resolved. Jenny sighed in annoyance.

*Confessional*

Jenny: This girl is driving me CRAZY! It's a good thing this is the last time I'll have to deal with her after I win.

*Cutback*

In the distance, a trumpet started tooting a tune that sounded like a cat being drowned. Jenny ran outside to see what it was, and it turned out to be Chris...well, he was standing in front of them, Chef was the one who was playing the lousy trumpet.

"Hello campers...errr, camper! As you both know, this is the final challenge here in Total Drama Action, and seeing as that's the case, we've decided to make it a little....interesting..." Chris began. Jenny became interested herself in this challenge he was shrouding in words. Lindsay then ran outside following his announcement.

"Seeing as it's the final challenge, we've decided to bring back a few...friends to witness one of you win." Chris said as the other 20 campers walked over, all of them with frowns except for Ted and Ed, who cheered in joy.

*Confessional*

Lindsay: wow, it's like the family reunion at my grandma's house!....Only nobodies choking on my uncle's food...

Ted: Hey, just because I can't win doesn't mean I can't cheer. Am I right?

Ed: You're right!

*Cutback*

* * *

A few minutes after the eliminated campers were introduced to the finalists (And Billy stopped bickering with Timmy weither Lindsay's boobs were fake or not), the eliminated and the final campers were standing in front of two sets of bleachers with Chris.

"Seeing as we've positioned these unused stands that we bought right here beyond the finish line, you, the eliminated campers, will be sitting in the section that is designated with the camper you want to cheer for's face. Please sit now..." Chris explained. Everyone slowly made there way up. After two seconds, it seemed apparent that everyone who was a boy wanted Jenny to win, while most of the girls wanted Lindsay to win, and of course, Ed had to stick with Ted as he headed to Lindsay's section.

"Now, you two tell us what you plan to do with the 1 million greens when you get them. Jenny, you first." Chris started. Jenny pondered for a few moments, and by the time she was ready to answer, she still had a ponder-filled look.

"I guess some of that money will get me through the rest school, and maybe I can that Musique I've been wanting the last 3 months. Hey, who knows? Maybe I can even buy my mom that gold kitchenwear she's wanted since New Years." Jenny thought. Chris glanced around at the now bored looking campers.

"BOR-ING!" Ed said with a long face (No pun intended...). Ted nodded hi head in agreement.

"And you Lindsay, what would you do with the money?" Chris asked. Lindsay, this time spent more thinking than Jenny. Finally, after what seemed like 10 mniutes, she came up with her answer.

"I'd probably start my own modelling agency. My daddy is always telling me how cute I'd look modelling, and maybe I can make these a little bigger." Lindsay said as her eyes trailed down to her breasts, to which Billy then jumped up in happiness.

"I KNEW IT! They were fake all along! Now pay up Buck-Tooth." Billy said as he pointed a accusing finger at Lindsay, and then recieved $2 from Timmy.

"Ignoring that revalation....now, today's challenge is going to follow yet ANOTHER movie genre. This time, we've decided to go all out with this challenge, and decided to go with the motion picture epic genre. A movie that's filled with explosions, car chases, giant robots, rivers of mud, and most importantly, the heroes of the film. Today, you two will compete in an adventure through a pre-made course that our producers designed. Whoever can get back here first and cross the finish line wins the $1 million....And, just to make this even more interesting, we're going to allow any of the eliminated campers to help...and stop one of you." Chris revealed. Everyone gasped, and Ted held back a huge smile.

*Confessional*

Ted: Looks like Jenny's odds are stacked up.

Courtney: Allowed to help, eh?

Ezekiel: Hey, that's my line!

Ted: Wait, what's Ezekiel doing here? He hasn't been here the entire show.....

*Cutback*

* * *

A few minutes later, Jenny and Lindsay were lined up at the starting line at two oak trees.

"Now, you'll have to travel through these woods, and continue straight ahead through the rest of the course. The course goes a mile from here until the finish line." Chris stated. Jenny galred over at Lindsay, who looked over at Jenny with a surprisingly stern face.

"Get ready.....and....go!' Chris said waving a small, practically dollar store valued checkered flag. Jenny blasted over like a bolt of lightning, leaving Lindsay running after her.

"Typical. YOU CAN'T WIN A RACE IN HIGH HEELS LINDSIOT!" Jenny yelled back. Just after she said this, Jenny smashed into a huge tree and slid to the ground. Lindsay noticed and only slightly sped up and went past Jenny. Ted then closely followed, along with Ed, who chuckled as he ran with him.

"Hey girlfriend, who's the race?" Ted said as he picked up Lindsay and Ed and blasted off the ground with his newly repaired boosters.

"Hi Ted!" Lindsay greeted happily. Ed smiled and laughed.

"Hello Ed." Ed muttered. Jenny looked ahead and saw Lindsay gaining a lead. Jenny jumped back up and blasted after Ted.

"You aren't getting away that easily..." Jenny said as she gained more ground as she got closer ans closer to Ted. Ed was surprisingly the first to notice.

"Um, Ted?" Ed said as he nudged Ted. Ted glanced over at Ed with a confused look.

"What is it Ed?" Ted asked in a annoyed tone. Ed pointed over to Jenny, who was now only three feet away.

"Uh oh. Hold on to your hats." Ted warned. Ted then threw Lindsay and Ed up, grabbed them his his free arms, folded a tree branch back, and the two flew forward, while Ted was catapulted into Jenny, and the two both fell to the ground in a pile of broken metal.

"Get off me you little troublemaker." Jenny groaned as she pushed Ted off and blasted forward. Ted lept back up and shot after her.

* * *

Ed and Lindsay, who were still flying at 20 MPH, landed into a dark brownish muck when they landed. Ed's head poked out of the mud, who was followed by a very nervous looking Lindsay.

"Gravy..." Ed muttered happily as he began slopping the goop into his mouth. Lindsay first noticed her terrible complexion after landing, and then when she noticed her now mud soaked hair....

"EHHH!!!!" Lindsay shreiked in bloody murder as Ed covered his eyes in pain.

"WHAT A PEST!" Ed yelled as his face then fell into the mud. Lindsay then started slowly walking through the muddy area that the two were launched into.

*Confessional*

Chris: Don't you love the miracle of mud?

*Cutback*

* * *

Meanwhile, Ted was on top of Jenny, both who were boosting toward the swamp area.

"Get off my you idiot!" Jenny demanded as Ted continued to elbow Jenny's head.

"Not until you lose you peppy....pep girl!" Ted fired back. This came off more as confusing than an insult, but Jenny then elbowed Ted in the gut, which he reacted in a "oof!", and Jenny shook Ted off and he then smashed into a dock which happened to be sitting in the swamp.

*Confessional*

Ted:.....Ow...

*Cutback*

* * *

A/N: DU DUM! You'll have to wait for the final chapter! Until then.....

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


	57. What You Know to Be, THE END!

Chapter 57

What You Know To Be, THE END

Ed had just finished getting out of the swamp when he found Lindsay frantically running forward. Ed smiled and ran over in curiousity.

"Hey Lindsay. How does the wind treat you?" Ed asked. Lindsay seemed to actually be interested in the question, and began slowing down.

"Fine, thanks. I'm trying to win a million dollars." Lindsay said as if Ed hadn't been there the entire time. Ed, who decided to be a friend, began talking, not noticing a thundering Jenny was coming up right behind them.

"Oh, those are pretty..." Ed said as he admired Lindsay eyes. Suddenly, Jenny ripped past the two morons. Ed was smashed into a tree by the shockwave, while Lindsay was thrown into the bushes 20 feet away.

"Yup....that's my spine..." Ed groaned happily as he then fainted.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ted was flying slowly after Jenny.

"Great. Now my girl's second in a race for a million, and theres NO CONSOLATION!" Ted whined. Ted then fired his engine even harder, and Ted then went off like a cannon.

"Don't worry Linds, Imma coming to get ya!" Ted exclaimed.

...Unfortunetly, he didn't know he was being spied on....

*Confessional*

Chris: I hired a professinal to take care of Ted and his cronies. I'm pretty sure he's more than enough to stop him, let alone Ed or Lindsay.

*Cutback*

The spy took out a piece of swiss cheese and followed the speeding Ted with his eyes through the cheese.

"We'll see about that, Mr. Wakeman..." A scrawny voice said confidently.

* * *

"Ow, what happened?" Lindsay asked herself as she rubbed her head. Ed then lifted his head from a tree.

"We're being beaten by Jenny....Ow, and now Ted will be mad at me..." Ed sobbed. Then, as if one que, Ted blasted by and grabbed the two.

"Teddy!" Both Lindsay and Ed exclaimed in a high pitched, girly shriek. Ted smirked and continued on.

"Okay, we might be behind, but I have a plan." Ted began. Then, a small figure appeared on a tree branch 50 feet ahead of them. Ed suddenly took notice and smiled.

"Could it be?!" Ed asked happily.

All of the sudden, a boy in a 60's looking shirt and a watermelon on his head jumped from the tree branch.

"Villians shed a tear! Because, **Captain Melonhead AND Splinter the Wonderwood** are here!" The melon headed crusador exclaimed.

"What the..?" Was all Ted had time to say before Captain Melonhead wrapped his agile legs around Ted's mettalic body. Lindsay and Ed went flying forward, while Melonhead knocked Ted to the ground.

"Help, I'm being mugged!" Ted yelled.

* * *

As Jenny was flying, she was already making phone calls to her creator to tell her the news.

"Oh my, my creation is going to be the winner of a game show! I need to go and rub it in the Science Commity's face!" Jenny creator Nora laughed.

"Yeah mom, you've said that for the last 8 minutes." Jenny said partly annoyed. Suddenly, Lindsay and Ed both went hurdling past Jenny.

"What was that?" Nora asked.

"Uhhh, gotta go, bye!" Jenny hurried as she shut off her communicator. Jenny then blasted after Ed and Lindsay.

Ed and Lindsay finallu crashed into a car that looked almost like a Chevy Bel Air. Ed accidentally started the motor after his foot pressed the pedal, and Ed and Lindsay were sent speeding off.

"Great, now a getaway car?" Jenny groaned. Jenny then went faster after the now leading Lindsay.

* * *

After Ted finally got out of the body lock by Melonhead, he bolted off, but now was being chased by Melonhead, who was in the trees.

"Give up Theodore!" Melonhead yelled after Ted. Ted, who had hated the name Theodore, turned his head in anger.

"...My name.....is not.....THEODORE!" Ted yelled in hot anger as he grabbed the stick Splinter was attached to and hurled it forward.

"Splinter! I'll get ya buddy!" Melonhead exclaimed. As Melonhead dove for Splinter, Ted grabbed the half-wit hero and blasted forward.

"Now, let's get this over with....." Ted muttered.

"Got that right..." Melonhead agreed as he clung onto Splinter.

* * *

After Ed and Lindsay once again focused their sense, they realized they were in a car.

"Oh no! I don't have a licence to drive!" Ed said frantically.

"I don't either!" Lindsay exclaimed with bug eyes. Both Ed and Lindsay screamed as they rolled through the forest. Ed then grabbed onto the wheel, and spun the wheel into a gyroscope. The car then began knocking trees down, and the ran into a clearing.

"Phew, glad that's over." Lindsay said with a relieved sigh. Then, the car suddenly flew downwards, and then the car's front end smashed into the grass below. Ed's seatbelt then unbuckled as both Ed and Lindsay sat in their seats with wide eyes, until Ed's safety bag blew up in his face, catapulting him up into Lindsay, and both of them hit the overhanging ledge, and then smashed back onto the ground, which was getting surprisingly more familiar.

Suddenly, Jenny flew down the cliff and then smashed into the two, and all three of them were slammed into a snapped in half tree.

"Run Forest, run!" Ed yelled to Lindsay. Lindsay looked at Ed with a confused look, and then ran ahead frantically anyway. Jenny kicked Ed in the head as she got back up, and ran after Lindsay, followed by Ed who quickly followed.

"RUN! Run like you're in "Deep Space of Mashed Potatoes"!" Ed exclaimed to Lindsay.

"What?!" Lindsay asked. Jenny, seeing her chance to get past Lindsay, then ignited her boosters and shot past the confused Lindsay. Ed's eyes began to droop, as he saw the finish line just 50 feet away.

Jenny smiled brightly at all the cheering campers she'd dominated, including the 3 that were losers to her greatness. Jenny was now just 15 feet from the finish......

.........Until Ted came back.....

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ted blew into the grassy area, threw Captain Melonhead with a strong throw forward, grabbed a now weeping Ed, and hurled him at Lindsay.

In a hard impact, Lindsay and Ed were sent rocketing forward alongside a flying Melonhead.

"HOLD ON SPLINTERRRR!!!!!" Melonhead yelled over the blinding sound of the wind.

Jenny, who was too busy basking in potential glory, turned her head in confusion.

"What the...." Was all Jenny could say before Captain Melonhead smashed into Jenny, which sent her sliding into the grass, while Ed and Lindsay barreled into the grass next to her.......

....When they both came to a stop, Lindsay and Jenny looked around confused, until they realized they were in front of all the campers who had lost. Everyone started cheering, when they stopped and looked at Chris.

"Well, that was pretty close I'll admit. But, the winner is......" Chris began as he held the answer dramatically. Ted's now grass covered face looked up in anticipation. Ed held his breath anxiously. Jenny and Lindsay both crossed their fingers in cutthroat expectations.

".....LINDSAY!" Chris exclaimed the winner of the now over game show.

Ed jumped up in glee and hugged Lindsay, who was now crying in happiness. Flapjack jumped onto Ed, who laughed whole heartidly. Everyone joined the huge dogpile, except the people who rooted for Jenny, who sat in absolute shock, and Jenny lied on the ground with her head hung in disappointment.

Suddenly, Lindsay felt the rest of the people being pushed away. Then, Lindsay's BFF through the whole competition finally hugged her in happiness. Ted, who had been the person who got her through in the bad times, and shared a romance the entire season, kissed with Lindsay in his happiest tone the entire 21 weeks. Everyone cheered, and hugged both of them.

"I LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS!" Ed exclaimed cheerily. Everyone agreed with another cheer, and they carried Ed, Lindsay, and Ted away.

* * *

3 hours later, everyone, losers and winner, were gathered at the bonfire.

"It is my somewhat honor to announce the winner of Total Drama Action is....Lindsay!" Chris announced for the second time. Everyone gave another cheer, except for Jenny, who sat glumly at the other end of the bonfire.

"And here's your grand prize!" Chris added daintily. Chris then opened a case, filled with, as you shoul've expected, $1 million green ones.

"Wow, that is alot!" Ted exclaimed in amazement. Lindsay hugged Ted, and Ed then hugged the two, and everyone sighed dreamily at the cute moment, except for, you guessed it, Jenny.

"Don't you love happy endings?" Chris asked retorically. Everyone glared over at Chris, and Ted smiled devilishly.

"I sure do..." Ted answered slyly.

* * *

A few minutes later, Chris and Chef were both in the water. Ted laughed as everyone cheered at the now torrentially soaked Chris, the guy who'd put them through life and limb since the beginning.

"I sure do......" Ted repeated. Ed once again hugged Ted, and Ted patted the big lump, and Lindsay then hugged Ted, and Ted sighed in relief, and then continued cheering with the rest.

"He swims just like a cat!" Flapjack exclaimed. Mr. Blik's happy expression then turned into a cold frown directed at Flapjack.

"I take offense to that...." Mr. Blik growled.

* * *

"But I told you I'm sorry! Me and Splinter were beaten to a pulp!" A now battered Jonny 2x4 said.

"But nothinng! When we hired you, you said you were a professinal and that you'd be able to handle it, Melonhead." Chris contradicted. Chef then hurled Jonny onto the Boat of Losers and walked onto it.

"Take him home. He'd be better off there..." Chris said angrily. The boat pulled out and then disappeared into the now black ocean.

"Okay, no more filming! It's bad enough I lost a bet!' Chris yelled at the camera.

* * *

* * *

A/N: And THAT is the end!

After more than a year of work, this fic is.......ALMOST DONE!

Tune in next week to see the reunion special of....

TOTAL.....DRAMA.....ACTION!!!

AND DON'T FORGET REVIEWS!


	58. Not Alone Again, Naturally

Chris: Only a week ago, our long running survival show "Total Drama Action" came to a seemingly good ending. The two remaining campers battled through harsh terrains, a barely heroic superhero, and complexion disasters.

Now, our campers can enjoy food, the Toronto sun, and are relieved of their game show duties.....

OR ARE THEY?

Inside this case I'm holding contains $5 million big ones! The campers, who have NO idea what we're about to put them through are already arriving at this moment, so now the questions come to fruition, can Lindsay win the $5 million? WILL she want to risk it? Can the campers get through this final challenge with us getting a lawsuit? Find out on the exciting conclusion of

Total.....Drama......ACTION!

Chapter 58

Not Alone Again, Naturally

The show was over. There were no more obstacles, injuries, possible deaths, or any other life-risking situations. This called for one thing, **PAR-TAY!**

With the show finally over, Ed was shaking everyone's hand as they arrived to the party.

"Hello friend." Ed said happily to an angry looking Jenny.

"....Bug off, big eyes.." Jenny muttered. Ed smiled at waved behind Jenny.

"You're welcome!" Ed responded. A few feet away Edd and Mr. Blik were both enjoying the cucumbers they were able to get from the juice bar.

"Sun, pool, and all the food we can eat. Ain't this the life of a superstar?" Mr. Blik said dreamily. Edd smiled at the suggestion.

"Mother and father have already contacted me. They said they may be coming home next week! I'm so excited." Edd said happily. Mr. Blik lifted his sunglasses and looked at Edd confused.

"Is that why you talk with sticky notes?" Mr. Blik asked. Edd nodded and admired the finely cut cucumber.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the pool Flapjack was daintily swimming, being careful not to drift off to the deeper end of the pool.

"Boy, I've never been in water before....unless you count Bubby's rear end...." Flapjack said as his voice trailed off. Brian, who was probably the only one drinking wine at the party.

*Confessional*

Brian: I don't think it's wrong to drink around teens. It's their decision whether or not they want to crap up their body.

*Cutback*

Brian, who was drinking slowly, was busy watching the slowly moving Flapjack.

"Kid, if you aren't going to swim then get out." Brian said impatiently. Flapjack looked up at Brian and smiled.

"Sorry, it's just I never get to swim. I live on a harbor, and..." Flapjack began explaining his life story until Brian stopped him.

"I've heard about 'Stormalong' five million times, ALL BY YOU!" Brian yelled. Flapjack stared at Brian for a few seconds and then began swimming. Brian grabbed his head in pain and walked off.

Meanwhile, Edd was walking around trying to become friends with everyone. Edd then came over to Jenny, who was still angry over the loss a week ago.

"Salutations XJ-9!" Edd greeted. Jenny lifted her head off the table she was on and needless to say, she was quite angry.

"My name is Jenny...." Jenny said calmly. Edd covered his mouth and then spoke again.

"Salutations Jennifer. I've been thinking, why not make aquintances with the rest of the campers, now that our days as enemies are over." Edd suggested. Jenny, in response, mumbled angrily. Edd walked away and decided to try someone else, when suddenly a loud shrieking coming from the trees behind the pool area.

"OH BOY! It's my red headed angel!" Ed yelled in glee. Izzy then swung out of the trees on, strangely, a vine and landed on top of Ed.

"Hiya Izzy!" Ed greeted. Izzy didn't respond, and Ed began to feel nervous.

"Oh no, IZZY'S DEAF! I'll save you eardrums!" Ed proclaimed frighteningly. Ed then grabbed Izzy's ear and stuck his head inside. Ed then pulled his head out.

"Nope, nothing but wax...." Ed concluded. Izzy laughed.

"Don't you remember you big foostool? I changed my name to E-Scope. It's only been 2 days." Izzy...sorry, E-Scope replied. Ed smiled and hugged Izzy....E-Scope.

"Oh, okay. Hiya E-Scope!" Ed greeted cheerily. Edd shook his head with a smile.

"Looks as if love has already found it's to Ed. Loveable oaf..." Edd said with a smile.

* * *

"Oh, he's here guys!" Ed announced over everyone's talking. Suddenly, a car smashed through the fence door.

"I told you we should've just rented that helicopter." A familiar voice bickered in the driver seat. A suddenly black painted and a smiling Ted popped out of the driver's seat.

"Introducing...all the way from sunny Malibu, California, you can only spell it with a L-I-N-D-S-D-A-Y, unless you're her of course. Say hello to the winner of TDA, LINDSAY!" Ted introduced his love as he read off a white piece of paper. Everyone clapped, and then sat silent. Ted smiled nervously and glanced at the back door.

"Uh, Lindsay....That's your que..." Ted muttered softly. Everyone looked around confused.

"Oh, that was my que?" Lindsay asked. Lindsay then popped out of the back seat.

"Hi guys!" Lindsay greeted. Ed waved his hand at the ocean. Everyone then went back to what they were doing before Ted inerupted.

"Guess they don't care." Ted realized.

* * *

Edd was once again walking around trying to make friends with the campers.

"Well, mother and father always said, 'You can make friends with people some of the time, but you can't make friends with people all of the......oh my...." Edd said as he stopped in his tracks as his stomach flipped and he felt a ticklish feeling in his stomach. Edd had just spotted a Miss Courtney, and Edd began to feel quesy.

"Father told me about this feeling before....He called it 'hormones'...." Edd muttered to himself. Edd began walking toward Courtney, and Edd began trying to pry himself from her direction. Unfortunately, by the time he looked up, he was staring up at Courtney. Edd's eyes dug into his eye sockets as he began sweating.

"Are you okay kid?" Courtney asked. Edd's stomach practically inploded upon itself.

"Gah....i'm...ah....Eddward.." Edd squeaked out.

"Is that a sock on your head?" Duncan asked from behind Courtney. Edd's eyes bugged out of their sockets. Edd then fell to the ground. Courtney then scowled at Duncan.

"Great job Duncan. It's obviously a hat!" Courtney scoalded. Duncan smirked.

"Hey, it's not my fault he wet himself Princess." Duncan argued as Edd looked up at his pants, saw the stain, and then he fainted once again.

* * *

After all the campers were done talking with each other, Chris finally walked into the party with Chef.

"Hello campers, and welcome to your reunion party. Before you celebrate anymore, we're going to present the $1 million to our winner, Lindsay!" Chris announced. Everyone cheered as Lindsay walked over with a smile, followed by Ted and Ed who both had huge grins.

"Thanks! I'd make a acception speech, but I forgot what I was going to say..." Lindsay admitted. Ted then hugged Lindsay once more as they opened the case to see $1 million sitting in the case.

"Now, before you go on a giant shopping spree, we're going to give you an offer that you'll have to think about. You can either take home the $1 million, or you could risk all of that money, and try to win the money in a case that that contains exactly 5....million....DOLLARS!" Chris exclaimed. Everyone gasped. Lindsay hesitated for a few minutes, and then smiled.

"I think I'm going to try for the 5 million!" Lindsay exclaimed. Everybody gasped, and Ed began jumping up and down.

"Oh boy! Does this mean we have another challenge?" Ed asked excitingly.

"Well, yes. Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to find the suitcase full of 5....million.....DOLLARS!" Chris exclaimed. Ed grinned as everyone else gasped.

"Well, let's go then!" Ted exclaimed. Lindsay, Ted and Ed all ran off while the rest stayed in denial.

"Honestly, you expect us to run around this island again just to find a case that we don't even know if it has 5 million dollars in it?!" Edd asked. Chris pondered kiddingly for a moment.

"Let me think....Yes." Chris answered. Edd sighed.

"Well, I'm not waiting around for you bozos to decide!" Izzy exclaimed. Izzy then ran off after the rest of the campers. Everyone glanced at each in question.

"Uh...Bye.." Flapjack muttered as he ran into the woods in search for the case. Everyone looked around nervously, and then ran frantically into the woods.

"Money, teens can't live without it." Chris muttered, impressed at himself.

* * *

"You find it yet Ed?" Ted asked. Ed lifted his head from under a rock and shook his head.

"Nope. Just dirt." Ed muttered. Ted looked inside a tree and stuck his head in.

"Man, the case has got to be around here somewhere." Ted said as he searched the area for the case.

"Maybe the case is in a cave?" Lindsay theorized. Ed lifted his head from a bush when he heard a rustle nearby.

"Ted, we are not alone..." Ed whispered as he backed into Ted. Ted peered into the bushes and smiled.

"Ed, I think that's..." Ted was interupted by a squeling Ed.

"E-SCOPE!" Ed yelled as he ran to the red head and hugged her.

"Hi, you big lump!" E-Scope said happily as Ed smile cheerfully.

"Good thing, we need more people to help us." Ted said as he tore a bush of the ground. As Ted turned around to say something, a wooden staff shot out of the bushes and smashed Ed and E-Scope into a nearby tree.

"Justice is here, because **Captain Melonhead & Splinter the Wonderwood **are here!" The melon-boy wonder said with bravery in his tone. Melonhead then ran to Ted and punched him into the bushes. Melonhead turned toward Lindsay, who's eyes grew as big as apples as she ran from the smirking Melonhead.

"Catch if you can Theodore!" Melonhead called as he grabbed Lindsay and swung into the trees. Ted got up with a scared face.

"Linds! I'll get you Melonterd! You and your hunk of wood!" Ted called with tears forming in his eyes. Ed and E-Scope stuck their heads out of the bushes and ran over.

"Life is smoke with a lighter Ted." Ed stated. Ted glared at Ed and grabbed him by his collar.

"YOU AND IZZY GO FIND HER!" Ted yelled angrily. Ed ran ahead, but E-Scope stood still. Ted groaned and cleared his throat.

"You and....._E-Scope..._..go find her...." Ted corrected.

"E-scope is reporting for duty!" E-Scope said as she and Ed jumped into the trees and jumped through them after Melonhead.

* * *

A/N: Well, get ready for a large clustered, plotline solving, loose-ending conclusion NEXT CHAPTER!

REVIEW! PLEASE!


	59. It Hurts to be on Top

Chapter 59

It Hurts to Be On Top

Ted rubbed his head in frustration at letting his girl get kidapped by Jonny.

"Man, I've got to do something....I know! I'll get Jenny! Maybe she'll help!" Ted concluded as he burst off to find his cousin.

* * *

"I know it sounds strange Courtney, but I assure you, teamwork is a better path then going alone." Edd assured his now friend Courtney.

"Yeah....Do me a favor Edd, and actually help us out." Courtney said, trying to sound as formal as possible, but still sounding as she usually did, ignorant and know-it-all.

"C'mon people! The case isn't that hard to find! I'll give you a hint.....The case is feeling _melon-_coly..." Chris hinted. Edd thought for a moment, and then his eyes lit up thoughtfully.

"That's it! Jonny!" Edd exclaimed. Duncan and Courtney looked at Edd in a perplexed way.

"Who's Jonny?" Duncan asked. Edd laughed happily, and then ran off.

"I'll explain later, just follow me!" Edd ordered as he ran off.

* * *

"You pink-nosed Earth stink, you've lead us to nowhere!" Zim yelled at Billy as they sat in a bare piece of land.

"All I know is that we looking for some case..." Billy responded confusingly. Zim grabbed Billy nose and tore it off.

"We are talking about WOLRD DOMINATION here! I'm not going to let someone like you Earth cows interfer with it!" Zim said as he threw Billy's nose into a cave.

"My nose!" Billy exclaimed as he ran into the cave, which then echoed with screams of pain and bear growling.

"MY SPLEEN!" Billy yelled from inside.

* * *

Why did Jonny kidnap Lindsay? It's a good question, but most likely Jonny would regret doing it after doing so...

"Why are you kidnapping me anyway?" Lindsay asked yet again.

"Because, if I kidnap you, I get to keep my job as Chris's assitant. ANDDD.....I also get a cut of the dough that's under my helmet." Jonny said, but then clamped is mouth shut from revealing where the case was.

*Confessional*

Jonny: We're you filming cameraman?

*End confessional*

"You can't cut dough though." Lindsay said perplexed. Jonny blinked his eyes in confusion, and then took a rope and tied it around Lindsay's mouth.

"Blondies..." Jonny muttered.

"Mfff tttfff...." Lindsay muffled through the rope on her mouth.

"I can hear you like an ant in Peach Creek, Lindsay!" Jonny laughed, almost maniacally.

* * *

"GIVE ME BACK MY NOSE!" A now physically wrecked Billy said as he chased after a bear, who was chasing after Zim.

"Sombody save me! This Earth troll is chasing after me!" Zim screamed in fear as held Billy's nose.

Zim suddenly smacked into Ed, who then fell backwards onto E-Scope.

"Ow..." E-scope murmured from under Ed's bum.

Unknowingly, a jawbreaker bounded out the back of Zim's head. Ed sniffed the air, and then started giggingly giddily like a schoolgirl.

"Ja....jaw.....JAWBREAKER!" Ed yelled as he ran after the jawbreaker, but then Ed noticed a zipper in the back of Zim's head, and sticking out of it was three thin hairs.

".....Eddy!" Ed exclaimed as he put two and two together. Zim sighed, and then unzipped the zipper in the back of his head, to reveal Eddy.

"Wait, if you're not Zim, where's the real Zim?" Billy asked.

* * *

Jonny had just finished bounding up the rest of Lindsay when he began talking to Plank.

"You think so? Yeah....." Jonny whispered to his wooden pal, but he then fell to the ground from a dart in his neck.

"Filthy bald Earth crater...Let's see how that robotic piece of foil will like it when I take his mate...." Zim muttered to himself as took out a controller, and uncloaked his Voot Cruiser.

* * *

Edd continued running through the bushes, and finally reached the acorn tree he spotted a few hours before. Courtney appeaed soon after, as well as Duncan.

"If I know Jonny, he'll be at this acorn tree any sec...." Edd was suddenly smacked into a tree by the flying Voot Cruiser.

"Ah! Flying Earth creature!" Zim yelled as he steered away, carrying Edd on the afterburner of the cruiser. Zim then randomly turned to Lindsay, who was still tied up in the back, along with Jonny, who was also tied up.

"Oh, and thanks again for the money, Earth scum...." Zim laughed evilly as he held up the case.

* * *

"Man, I'm really losing my touch." Ted groaned as he walked back to the campground. All of the sudden, Zim's Voot Cruiser came blasting through the woods, which Ted obviously spotted quickly.

"Zim?.....HE HAS THE CASE!" Ted noticed the case as he shot up into the sky with his boosters, and smashed into the window of Zim's cruiser.

"Ahhh!!!!! Tin foil robot!" Zim yelled as he tried to smack Ted with the case, but it was easily grabbed by Ted.

"Nice try...But I'm not a piece of clay..." Ted said, trying to sound cool.

Suddenly, Ted blasted out the rear-end of the ship, carrying Jonny and Lindsay, but then fell flat to the ground, and was then used as a landing pad for Edd. Unfortunetly, the case bounced out of Ted's hands when they landed, and began bouncing toward the lake.

"The case!" Ted, Lindsay, Jonny, and Edd all exclaimed. Ted began running after the case, followed by all the other campers, who began grabbing at Ted to get past him.

*Confessional*

Ted: When I wanted to be grabbed by groupies, I didn't mean......those people.

*End confessional*

Ted blasted forward quickly, but then ran out of juice, dropped Lindsay, and then was run over by Zim's crashing Voot Cruiser.

"Case! I want it now!" Zim screamed as he jumped out of cruiser, and grabbed the case, but then fell into the lake, along with the rest of the castmates.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Zim shrieked as he sunk into the water as it burned his skin.

"Well, I'm a murderer.....Not exactly an accomplishment..." Ted muttered. Chris walked over with a huge smile on his face, along with Chef.

"Well, I've got to thank Ted for the collateral damage. Anyway, I have good news for you all....."

"What? There isn't actually money in the case?" Courtney asked angrily.

"Well, there's that," Chris said as he glanced at the case in his hand, "But the real good news, is that 11 or you campers will be competing for the 5 million dollars in this real case on the next season of this show!"

"Next season?!" Ted and Ed both yelled giddily.

*Confessional*

Ted: YAY! More drama, and more oo-la-la with Lindsay! WOO HOO!

Lindsay: Another season with Teddy!

Edd: Well, this'll be exciting to say the least...

Jonny: Let's get ready to kick some butt Plank, because we're taking home a 5 million dollars!

Eddy: Oh great, now I'm stuck in this mess...

*End confessional*

"All you campers will come to the Toronto Airway in 5 days, under your own transportation, and be ready for more drama, more action, and all the mayhem....On

**TOTAL.....DRAMA......THE MUSICAL!!**

* * *

A/N: See you next season.......

REVIEW!!! NOAWH!!!


	60. Thanks to the Readers!

I'd like to thank EVERYONE that has either reviewed, viewed, or actually read the summary of my story for giving this thing over **8,600 VIEWS!**

This is honestly not the best I can do, and yet you guys still gave me over 40 reviews of support! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!

I'd also like to thank every writer and reviewerin my fanfiction career that's guided me to the greatness I've hit today!

Don't look for the first chapter of TDTM until around July.

So, until the next time you read a fic by the nobody by the alias of "Ted Wakeman", just remember, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MAKES ALL THIS POSSIBLE!

And once more, **THANK YOU!!!!!!!!**


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